I’m currently borrowing a manga series at my local library. That morning, I checked on their website to see if the next one was available. Lucky me, it was on the site! I have the possibility to put a reservation on it, but considering I was a fifteen-minute walk away, I didn’t bother.

I go straight to the library, looking for the book by reference, and nope. I found others in the series, so I knew I was in the right place. I looked for a few minutes, including behind the other books, but there was no success.

I went to the librarian and explained my situation, gave him the title and reference of the book

He came searching with me, no success, looked at that computer to be sure it was not lent in the meantime (it would have been fair). Nope. No success.

I was ready to say to him, “That’s okay, it’s not as if you can summon it from thin air”, when he asked me to wait for him, while he went to the backroom reserve.

Two minutes later, the librarian was back with my book.

That’s how this librarian went into the secret room in the back to produce the item from thin air, just for me.

I almost answered back, “You should not do things like that; it gives people ideas!”

At least I didn’t ask for a “book with a blue cover, or maybe red”. Now I almost wish I had to test their superpowers.

I am an American, living in Paris.

I’m having a coffee at a café and hear a fellow countryman repeatedly shouting a word at the waitress.

Customer: “Late! Late!”

My first thought is that the customer is running late for something, and this is his weird way of telling the waitress to hurry up. It was only after a few moments that I realised he didn’t know that lait was pronounced “lay” rather than “LATE.”

Me: *To the waitress, in French.* “He means coffee with milk.”

The waitress nods and goes to prepare the order.

Me: *To the customer, in English.* “Hi! It’s actually pronounced—”

Customer: “—I don’t care how it’s pronounced. I see a ‘t’, I say a ‘t’. She should have understood me.”

Me: “You’re in France, so she really shouldn’t have to.”

Customer: “And you sound American! What took you so long to help me?”

Me: “I’m a customer like you. I was under no obligation to assist you, but I did so because you constantly barking ‘late!’ over and over was ruining my morning coffee.”

The customer and I have a stare off for a moment, but I go back to my coffee and my phone, so he backs down too. That should have been the end of the story, but the poor waitress brings him his drink, and he shouts:

Customer: “Why is there milk in this?!”

In my new job, I work at the reception desk of a large public finance center. Since we have a fine office in our center, it must be said that most people come to pay and complain about fines, or to contest them, but we are not the ones who issued the fines, so we can’t do anything if the contestation is not about the collection.

A woman (who tried to cut in front of everyone) arrived:

Woman: “Hello, I’m here because I received, well, my husband received, a reminder letter for fines for illegal parking, but it’s already been paid, and besides, he always parks properly.”

The person training me looks at me.

Trainer: “These are fines that need to be paid.”

Woman: “But I already came to pay for parking three months ago.”

Trainer: “Yes, but these are new fines.”

Woman: “Impossible, he always parks properly.”

Trainer: “Unfortunately, to contest the fine, you need to contact someone else, not us—”

Woman: *Interrupting.* “—I’ll call him, he’s right next door at the pizzeria. He’ll tell you he always parks properly.”

Trainer: “Unfortunately, to contest the fine—”

But it’s too late.

The husband arrives. Same debate with “I always park properly,” during which another coworker takes over to help them.

My trainer and I go back to deal with the person we were originally helping.

After we have finished with the people waiting in line, my trainer notices that the woman is once again alone.

Trainer: “Has your husband left?”

Woman: “Yes, he’s gone; he was parked illegally.”

Awkward silence. She realized what she had just said, paid her husband’s fines, and left.

I’m leading an English-speaking tour, explaining the history and symbolism of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier beneath the Arc de Triomphe. A tourist raises their hand.

Tourist: “But… couldn’t they just find out who he is now, using DNA? They do it on TV all the time!”

The group goes quiet, all eyes on me.

Me: “The point isn’t that we can’t identify him. The point is that he stands for all the soldiers who can’t be.”

Tourist: “Yes, but we can identify them all now, right?”

The tourist’s partner leans in, while nodding and winking at me:

Tourist’s Partner: “They could, hun, but then they’d need to rename the monument, and that’s a lot of new signage.”

Tourist: “Huh… I guess.”

I was able to complete the tour without any more questions like that!

I work at a little sushi shop inside a large superstore/mall, and my main job was to take my trolley full of sushis and wander around the mall, asking people if they wanted to taste some, and basically advertising the (very new) shop.

Customer #1: “I don’t eat foreign food!”

Me: *Eyeing up the couscous in his cart.*

Customer #2: “Why are you selling that? You’re not Chinese!”

Customer #3: *Takes one, starts chewing.* “What is sushi?”

I explain, including telling her that it’s made of fresh raw fish.

Customer #3: *Still chewing.* “Oh my god! I don’t like fish!” *Takes another one.*