The Poster-Boy For Stupidity

| Right | February 17, 2017

(I work in a frame store and a customer calls us.)

Customer: “Hi there, I’d like to find a frame for a movie poster I just bought.”

Me: “Sure! What’s the size?”

Customer: “Oh you know… poster-sized.”

Me: “Sir, I need to know the specific dimensions of the poster. Like, some standard poster sizes are 27 by 40, or 24 by 36.”

Customer: “Yea! That’s it! 27 by 36!”

Me: *sighs* “Hold, please…”

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It Will Be All Right Angled On The Night

| Right | September 14, 2010

(I had dealt with this customer three hours before this phone call to make an 16×20 frame. I’ve given them a copy of the bill so they can see all the information.)

Customer: “I think the girl who did my order made a mistake! I think she wrote the sizes in backwards.”

Me: “Backwards? Did she write 61×02?”

Customer: “No. Were it says ‘width’ she wrote 20, but the width is 16!

Me: “Did she write 16 as the height ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes! But that means the frame will be longer than wide.”

Me: “The frame looks the same on all sides ma’am. 20×16 and 16×20 are the same size. All they’ll have to do is turn it 90 degrees.”

Customer: “They’re smart enough to do that?”

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There Is Such A Thing As A Free Lunch

, , | Right | July 14, 2009

(I’m eating lunch at the front desk of our framing shop when I get called to the back. When I return to the front, I notice a customer standing in front of my sandwich at the desk.)

Customer: “Hi.”

Me: “Good afternoon. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: “No.” *stares at my sandwich*

Me: “Well, are you in need of assistance?”

(The woman suddenly snatches up my sandwich.)

Me: “Ma’am, that’s my lunch. Please give it back to me.”

Customer: “I was walking by and I got hungry.”

Me: “Ma’am, there’s a deli down the street. Please do not eat my lunch.”

Customer: “But it was on the counter. That means it’s complimentary! It’s my sandwich and I’m going to eat it.”

(At this point, my coworker comes out the back.)

Coworker: *to me* “Isn’t that your lunch?”

Customer: “It’s my lunch now! MINE.” *starts eating the sandwich* “This has MAYONNAISE in it!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Ham and mayo.”

Customer: “I hate mayonnaise! It looks and tastes like sperm!” *throws my sandwich on the floor and runs out the door*

Me: “…What just happened?”

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