They Need Stronger Lenses

, , , | Working | February 14, 2018

(Going through the drive-thru, we notice a sign that says, “Paywave cards only,” referring to “contactless” payment, where the card is touched to the machine and no PIN is required. We get to the window and hand the employee our card. She walks away with it and comes back.)

Employee: “This card isn’t contact-lense.”

Husband: “Sorry?”

Employee: *impatiently* “This card isn’t contact-lense.”

(We exchange a glance and decide not to bother pointing out her mistake. We give her another card. She takes it, takes payment, and returns with our card and food.)

Employee: *huffy* “Next time, read the sign. ‘Contact-lense cards only.’”

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Unfiltered Story #97239

, | Unfiltered | October 4, 2017

(I’m taking a high school class in Mandarin Chinese, in which we often get into groups to make up conversations based on what we’re learning. We were supposed to act as shopkeepers and customers selling or buying clothes, while also discussing the weather. I happened to be working in a group of three. The whole conversation was in Mandarin.)

Me: *acting as a shopkeeper* “Hello, welcome!”

Classmate #1: *acting as a customer* “Hello.”

Me: “We have very nice pants for you to buy.”

Classmate #2: *acting as a shopkeeper* “It’s cold today.”

Me: “No, it’s too hot!”

Classmate #2: “It’s too cold!”

Classmate #1: “I’ll buy those pants.”

Classmate #2: “Here, I have them in black.”

Me: “I have them in blue.”

Classmate #1: “Can I have them in red?”

Me: “We don’t have them in red.”

Classmate #2: “Black.”

Classmate #1: “Can I get them in green?”

Me: “I—”

Classmate #2: “Black.”

Me: *menacingly* “We have them in black and blue. Would you like them in black or blue?”

(At this point the teacher says our time is up, so we never got to finish the conversation.)