Your Inability To Listen Is At Large

, , , , | Right | March 22, 2018

(I work at a “snoball” stand that’s pretty popular in the south. We have over 100 flavors. Pumpkin spice is one of the flavors, but no one really orders it unless it is fall, even though we have the flavor all year round.)

Customer: “Can I get a pumpkin ‘snoball’ with condensed milk?”

Me: “Sure, what size?”

Customer: “Condensed milk.”

Me: “What size?”

Customer: “Pumpkin.”

Manager: *to me* “We’ll just give her a medium.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $2.50.”

Customer: “It’s supposed to be $3.50, because I ordered a large.”

(At least she was honest about the price.)

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Daddy Isn’t Welcome Here

, , , , , | Romantic | December 14, 2017

(I’m taking orders at the front end of the food stand, while the owner works the grill next to me, and my coworker — a burly middle-aged man — does prep at the back of the tent. I’m a female in my mid-20s, I have a lot of health issues, and my coworkers are a little protective of me.)

Customer: “I’d like one chocolate and one vanilla custard.”

Me: “Great, that’ll be $5. There’s about a three-minute wait. Can I get a name for the order?”

Customer: *winks lecherously* “Call me ‘Daddy.’ It’s pretty loud out here; you might have to scream it.”

Me: “Next customer, please!”

(I keep serving, but I’m thoroughly creeped out. After a few minutes, the guy’s order comes up, and the owner notices me turning pale when he hands the food to me. After a quick explanation, he tells me to go take a break at the back. He then calls up my coworker and they talk briefly.)

Coworker: *bellowing* “Hey, Daddy!”

(The customer walks up, looking nervous.)

Coworker: “Here’s your $5. We are refusing you service.”

Customer: “What? No! I want my food! Make her serve me my food!”

Coworker: “Sir, my daughter is not going to serve you food. My son, on the grill, is not going to make you food. Take your money and get out, a**hole.”

Customer: “F***!” *storms off*

(He left his $5 behind. I got his food AND the money.)

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An Extra Flirt Of Lemon

| Working | October 11, 2013

Boyfriend: “Hi, I would like two lemonades and a bag of kettle corn.”

Food Stand Attendant: “$17.50.”

(My boyfriend pays. While they are getting our lemonades ready, he runs to the restroom. I have been standing there holding the lemonades for a while at this point.)

Me: “Excuse me; can I please get my kettle corn?”

Food Stand Attendant: “That’ll be $6.”

Me: “Oh no, I am sorry; my boyfriend just paid for it. He’s in the restroom; we just never got it.”

Food Stand Attendant: “Whatever, that’ll be $6.”

Me: “But I just paid for it; you never gave it to me!”

Food Stand Attendant: “No you didn’t; you bought the lemonades. That was it.”

Me: “Two lemonades for $17.50?”

(At this point my boyfriend has returned, wondering what the hold up is. The food stand attendant gives him a flirty smile.)

Food Stand Attendant: “You forgot your kettle corn; so glad you came back!”

(As we are walking away, I realize she has written her phone number on the bag. That’s why she didn’t want to hand it to me.)

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Molding Young Minds

| Working | July 24, 2013

(I am in my first job at a custard stand.One of the bosses stops by with a special list of chores.)

Me: “This one says, ‘remove mold from the shaved ice flavors’. What’s that?”

Manager: “Oh, just take the mold out.”

Me: “What mold? I haven’t seen anything green in the bottles. That’d be gross!”

Manager: “Oh, it’s not green, since the flavoring is dyed. But you can easily see it, as it clumps together.”

Me: “I’m adamant I haven’t seen anything like that.”

Manager: “Oh, no, I’ll show you. There! That’s a large lump of mold!”

Me: “Uh… that’s mold? Not flavoring?”

Manager: “Yes, yes.”

Me: “You know we’ve been selling shaved ice with these flavors for the past three months?”

Manager: “Of course. Why wouldn’t you?”

Me: “And you… didn’t think to order flavors without mold?”

Manager: “No, I wanted to finish up last year’s supply first.”

Me: “And you… didn’t think to tell us that was mold?”

Manager: “No. Why? Does it matter?”

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What A Bun-eficent Guy

| Working | June 5, 2013

(My friends and I have just finished our first-ever game of paintball. In the game, there were many cheaters, so we’re in a bad mood. We decide to get hot dogs from the stand outside the paintball center.)

Vendor: “You guys had a fun game of paintball?”

Everyone: *sadly* “Yeah…”

(There is a long pause while the vendor cooks the hot dog.)

Vendor: “Kumusta ka?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Vendor: “Kumusta ka?”

(I realize he is trying to speak to me in Tagalog.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I only speak English. My mother didn’t teach me Tagalog.”

Vendor: “Oh, that’s a shame. How about you, young man? Where are you from?” *motions to one of my friends*

Friend #1: “I’m from Taiwan.”

Vendor: “Nǐ zěnme yàng?”

Friend #1: “I can’t believe you know Mandarin!”

Me: “Wow, that’s so cool! How many languages do you know?”

Vendor: “About twenty… no twenty-five.”

Friend #2: “How about Arabic? Kayfa ḥālak?”

Vendor: “Ana bekhair.”

(My five friends and I continue talking to him in all the languages we know, and we even taught him some Russian. By the end of it, all of us had bought a hot dog from him except for me, since I didn’t have any money.)

Vendor: “Alright, all six of your hot dogs are done. It was nice talking to you.”

Friend #3: “Six? We only bought five.”

Vendor: “Did you? My, I’m getting old. You, girlie!” *points to me* “Take this hotdog!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t have any money.”

Vendor: “No, just take it. I made too many. It’s either you take it, or it goes to me. I’ve had too many today already.”

Me: “Thank you so much!”

(We leave. Only then, do I realize I forgot to ask for his name! He really did turn our whole bad day around; a little kindness can go a long way!)

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