They Want An Irish Americacappamoccachino

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2017

Customer: “Do you do fancy coffee?”

Me: “Umm, you mean like cappuccino and flat white?”

Customer: “Yeah, but the one with chocolate in it?”

Me: “Hot chocolate?”

Customer: “No! The one with chocolate and coffee.”

Me: “Oh, you want a moccachino?”

Customer: “Yes, but with caramel as well. What do you call that?”

Me: “Ah, a moccachino with caramel?”

Customer: “Yes I want one of those. Wait, I might want two. Hang on.”

(She then walks to the other side of our seating area to talk to her friend. I’m not too worried by this as it’s quiet anyway.)

Customer: “No, only one of those.”

Me: “Okay, your total is $4.50.”

Customer: “Do you do those special coffees like they do in America?”

Me: “An Americano?”

Customer: “Is that the one with alcohol in it?”

Me: “Oh, no, I think you mean an Irish coffee or a liqueur coffee.”

Customer: “No, not Irish coffee, just the ones with alcohol in them?”

Me: “You mean with [Brand Irish Whiskey], or [Brand of Creamy Liqueur] in them?”

Customer: “Yeah, those ones!”

Me: “Yeah, they’re called Irish coffee or liqueur coffee. Do you want one of them as well?”

Customer: “Oh, no. Have you done my coffee and chocolate thing yet?”

Does That Mean The Sugar Is Sucreted?

, , , , | Working | August 18, 2017

(I ordered a combo meal and iced coffee at a local drive-in:)

Me: “Can you add milk to my iced coffee?”

Clerk: “Oh, don’t worry, iced coffee is already cremated… Umm, well.”

Totally Maki It Up

, , , , , , , | Working | August 17, 2017

(My family decides to visit my sister at college. The city has a few other colleges as well so we were excited to try what the heartland America version of international cuisines we regularly have authentic versions of in our home city would be like — because who doesn’t like to try new things? We decided to try out a hibachi restaurant at the lunch time.)

Server: “We have a lunch special sale on sushi and we are selling it for $2 each.”

Me: “$2? Isn’t that a little cheap?”

Server: “A little, but it’s just a small bundle of rice with a topping wrapped on top.”

Me: *thinking that’s a little expensive for something so small but I’m hoping it will be really interesting or tasty and worth it*

Server: “Here’s the ordering card for the sushi.”

(It has “sushi” written on the front, and “maki” written on the back.)

Me: “What about the back? Are those items for the sale price as well?”

Server: “Yes, like I said, it is all $2.” *she sounds very frustrated with me asking so many questions so I decide it is best to not ask any more questions*

(Deciding that it was technically on sale and this meal was kind of a family treat I decide to get fifteen rolls for what should be a total of $30. Everyone else’s food comes out and the chef does the whole hibachi presentation which is fairly entertaining. Finally, after everyone else’s food was made and eaten, a plate of sushi comes out to me. I start eating and then they start bringing over plate upon plate of food. I ask the girl who was my server what is going on and she just rolls her eyes and said I got what I ordered. I am a little surprised to get so much food but decide to accept my good fortune. Then the bill comes to the table — for over a $100 just for my food! Clearly they ordered too much food and charged me way too much. I try to talk to the waitress about it again, but she just rolls her eyes at me and walks away from the table. I finally get up and looked around the store until the manager comes up to us and scolds us for not paying our bill yet.)

Me: “We can’t pay our bill yet. We’ve been trying to find you. There’s a major problem with this bill.”

Manager: “I don’t see what’s wrong. You ordered a ton of food and you have a big bill. That’s how it works.”

(My dad just stares at him, and then I try to explain.)

Me: “I did not order this much food. I ordered 15 small ‘bundles of rice and toppings’ as explained by your server which the server assured us many times would only cost $2 each.”

Manager: “No, she told you that only the front of the ordering form was $2 each. The back of the form was for rolls and they cost full price.”

Dad: “We all heard her say absolutely everything on both sides of the form was only $2 each. We will not pay extra because she didn’t explain it well.”

Manager: “[Waitress], did you tell them all of this was only $2?”

Waitress: “No, I explained the specials to them and said only the front.”

Dad: “We literally have a whole table of people and everyone heard you say everything on the ordering card cost only the special price.”

Manager: “Well, I can see you think something was messed up, but this is your bill and you have to pay it. Really, did you think we would charge that little for so much food? I couldn’t run a business that way!”

Me: “Frankly, it’s not my job to understand how your business works and look out for your bottom line. It’s my job to follow information given by servers and order accordingly, and your server gave us inaccurate information. Now, are you going to fix this, or aren’t you?”

Manager: “I can see you are upset that you misunderstood what my server said, but I am not giving you a discount because you clearly can’t hear well. You are either paying for your food or we are calling the police for theft of products.”

Me: “You have to be kidding me. Your store outright lied and is now trying to extort us for money.”

Dad: “It’s not worth it. We’ll pay the bill this time but we’ll warn everyone that this store is dishonest.”

(In the end, since we had to pay for the food anyway, I brought the extra pieces of sushi home with me and ate sushi every day for a week. I got grounded by my parents because I didn’t know better to expect the server was lying and cost them so much money. I still am mad at that server for outright lying so many times to me and my parents and the manager to their faces!)


Can't stand the way people act? You'll feel better after you check out our Antisocial collection in the NAR Store!

H2-Slow To Realize, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | August 16, 2017

(I run and independent coffee shop on a very busy city centre street. We are known for our hearty and healthy food as well as home-baking and decent coffee. We also have a pretty strict “no outside food” policy. Our stuff is so good, so why would we let people bring their own stuff in? One day I arrive to find we have no water. I call the water board and they say that a pipe has burst in the area but that they are fixing it. The water, however, has been turned off in the area… maybe a mile radius. I put signs up saying explaining this and apologising, but we are still able to serve food, just no hot drinks or tap water. A couple come in for breakfast and see the signs, but I still explain the situation. She orders orange juice with her breakfast. He, however, doesn’t seem to get it.)

Man: “Just a filter coffee, please!”

Me: “I’m really sorry but due to the no water thing, I can only do cold drinks.”

Man “Oh, right. So… just a tea?”

Me: “Again, no water. I have bottles of iced tea?”

Man: *scoffing* “So you’re saying that your coffee shop has no coffee?!”

Me: “Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying. No water, in a mile wide radius. Really sorry about this but they are working on the burst pipe!”

Man: “Well, there’s a [Huge International Coffee Chain] on the corner. Can I go and get one of their coffees and bring it back?”

Me: *knowing they have no water either but still trying to be polite and nice* “Sure thing. If they are able to make coffee, you’re welcome to bring it back.”

(The man left, quite smugly, only to return moments later, empty handed. Apparently they had no water either. Something about a burst pipe in the area…)

I’ll Have What She’s Having

, , , | Right | August 16, 2017

Customer: “Excuse me, is it true that your hot chocolate can induce orgasms?”

Me: “Umm, I don’t think so.”

Customer: “Have you had it?”

Me: “Yes, and no, it didn’t induce a… you know.”

Customer: *pointing to her friend* “[Friend] here says she has an orgasm every time she has your hot chocolate. Isn’t that right, [Friend]?”

Friend: *blushing and whispering* “No! I said I like it so much every time I have it that I could orgasm!”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I’ll just have a coffee, then.”

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