Peppered With Allergies

, , , , , , | Working | December 20, 2017

(I’ve been asked to cover a shift in the produce department. Since I’ve never worked produce before, I’m given pre-loaded carts and told to stock them. I’m highly allergic to bell peppers, and several peppers in the box are broken. I try to stock them anyway, but I can feel my throat starting to itch and my hands are turning red.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], could you possibly take over with the peppers, so I don’t die? I’ll stock those strawberries, and take that cart back when there aren’t peppers on it anymore.”

Coworker: “Okay.”

(I put out the boxes of berries and look up to see my coworker stocking squash, with full boxes of peppers still sitting on top of the cart.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], um… I’m happy to stock the zucchini. I really just needed your help with the peppers, because I’m allergic.”

Coworker: “You’re allergic to peppers? I thought you were just trying to get out of doing your job.”

Me: “What? No! I stocked all those berries and stuff; how is that not doing my job?”

Coworker: “You pawned this full cart off on me.”

Me: “No, I asked if you would mind just stocking the peppers. I haven’t handled them a lot because I’m allergic. I didn’t realize that just touching them could cause a reaction.” *I hold up my hands*

Coworker: “Huh, okay. You should tell someone you’re allergic. That’s a good reason; you could avoid getting fired that way.”

Me: “Fired? What? Wait, were you going to complain about me swapping with you? I asked you nicely. Also, what did you think I meant about dying?”

Coworker: “I thought you were kidding.”

Me: *speechless*

(I told the manager I couldn’t take the risk of covering in produce anymore.)

Scoops Of Kindness Are Priceless

, , , , , | Hopeless | December 19, 2017

(I work at a bookstore chain that owns a calendar company. From October through January we all dutifully take shifts at the kiosk in the mall. It is boring, but hey, we get to read the calendars! I’m working and it’s been pretty slow. The customers we have had have all been either rushed or rude so it’s been a hard day. Towards the middle of my shift a lady and her daughter come up bearing ice cream cones. They’re about the 20th group I’ve seen with ice cream.)

Me: “Hi, welcome! Can I help you find anything?”

Mom: “I think we’re just going to look! Thanks, though!”

Me: “Everyone seems to have ice cream today. What’s going on?”

Daughter: “Oh, [Company] downstairs is having a ‘$1 a scoop’ sale!”

Me: “Aw, man, sweet! Too bad I work till closing; I love their mint chip.”

(We talk a bit more as they look around and they leave. It was nice to have such friendly customers. About 20 minutes later I see them heading back towards my kiosk… an extra, green ice cream scoop in hand.)

Daughter: “Here, since you have to work!”

(I just stand there speechless.)

Mom: “Oh, go on, take it! I remember what retail is like during the holidays!”

(She hands me the ice cream cone and they both walk away with a very happy “Merry Christmas!” To this day it still brings tears to my eyes to think of them! Thanks for making my week, whoever you were!)

Will Get A Roasting For That Later

, , , , , | Working | December 18, 2017

(At the end of my undergrad, I started working at a small local coffee shop. I end up graduating a semester early and decide to work at the shop full time until the lease on my apartment is up. When I switch to full-time, I work with an older woman who isn’t quite up-to-date on her science. This happens right as we get a new light roast, so we offer light, medium, and dark.)

Coworker: “Hi guys, would you like to try our new light roast today?”

Customer #1: “No, thanks; I’d rather have the dark roast. More caffeine.”

Coworker: “Actually, lighter roasts have more caffeine than darker roasts!”

Customer #2: “Wait, really? Why?”

Coworker: “Because roasting the beans longer makes more caffeine evaporate out of the beans!”

Me: “Um… that’s not how that works.”

They Need To Carb-Load Their Medical Degree

, , , , | Healthy | December 15, 2017

(I’ve been a diabetic for over 42 years, so I’m a bit “old school” when it comes to caring for my diabetes. Still, I must be doing something right, as my control has been fairly tight up until recently. Because of new issues, I go to see an endocrinologist and am discussing my diet with her. And as dismayed as I am to say it, I’m about 60 lbs overweight.)

Doctor: “How many carbs do you eat per meal?”

Me: “Oh, three, sometimes four. If I’m feeling particularly crazy, I’ll have up to five, but that’s my limit.”

Doctor: *looking at me in horror* “How many?!”

Me: “Three or four.”

Doctor: “Grams?”

Me: *holding my arms wide* “Do I look like a mouse? I’m talking about the diabetic exchange, doc. Fifteen grams is one carb, and I eat three or four carbs per meal, with two carbs being a snack.”

Doctor: “Oh, God! I thought you were eating only three or four grams per meal.”

Me: “Yes… and I have a blood glucose of zero.”

They Need A Hot Slice Of Shame

, , , , , | Right | December 15, 2017

(One day during lunch I’m serving a group of about a dozen, and as I’m taking everyone’s drink orders, it becomes clear from the conversations that this is a business lunch. As I’m making my lap around the table getting each person’s food order, this happens:)

Woman #1: “I’ll have a small specialty pizza, please.”

(I see a couple of people moving around, changing seats, so I decide to ask to keep myself organized before it gets to be confusing.)

Me: “Oh, will this be all separate checks or one bill?”

Man #1: “Oh, it’ll all be on one. I’ve got it this time.”

Woman #2: “Oh, you don’t have to do that!”

Man #2: “Yeah, we can all get our own! That’s too nice.”

Man #1: “Don’t worry about it, everyone. It’s nothing.”

Me: “All right, sounds good to me.” *as I’m about to move on, [Woman #1] pulls me back to her*

Woman #1: “Actually, if that’s the case, can you make mine a large pizza, instead? I’ll just take some extra home later. Also, an order of wings… for the table.”

(I was secretly very glad she wasn’t in charge of paying the bill or the tip, since she seemed pretty cheap. I just can’t believe she changed her order so blatantly in front of everyone.)

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