Steak, Soup, Soda, Save Me!

, , , | Right | December 30, 2018

Me: “Good evening! What can I get you guys to drink?”

Customer #1: “Steak.”

Customer #2: “Soup.”

Me: “Umm… okay, you know what? I’ll get you guys a menu in a second. Unfortunately, we don’t have steak on our menu right now, and we have two different kinds of soup. Could I get you something to drink first?”

Customer #1: “Yeah. A soda.”

Me: “Alrighty, what kind of soda?”

Customer #1: “Just a soda.”

(That was a long night.)

Nein Nine!

, , , , | Right | December 29, 2018

(I’m a server at a restaurant/bar and food-wise it’s been a very slow night. In the last hour, we’ve only had a table of four. It isn’t too bad for the wait staff because we still have some people over for drinks, but the kitchen staff has to wait around until they’re allowed to close the kitchen to finally start cleaning. One customer walks in, and she walks right past the hostess and sits down. I walk over to her table.)

Customer: “A glass of red wine and a menu.”

Me: Oh, miss, I’m so sorry, but I see it’s already past nine, and that’s when our kitchen closes. I’m going to go to the kitchen and see what I can do for you. Maybe they haven’t started cleaning yet!”

Customer: “Fine.”

(I run into the kitchen, but unfortunately, the staff had started cleaning at nine exactly. This means that everything has already been taken apart — the grill is in the dishwasher and the ovens have started self-cleaning. There’s nothing I can offer her. I hurry back to her table.)

Me: “I’m sorry; it seems like they’ve already started cleaning. There’s not much I can do for you. I can still bring you a glass of wine and a snack menu, since our deep fryer is still on.”

Customer: “WHAT? What kind of bull-s*** is this?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our kitchen always closes at nine. It’s on our front door, our website, and our menus.”

Customer: “Well, this is just ALL YOUR FAULT. You are a terrible waitress. I will file a complaint about you!”

Me: “How is this my fault?”

Customer: “I came in at 8:59! So I was on time! You should have just given me a menu and taken my order instead of wasting time by asking the kitchen if they were still open! ALL YOUR FAULT!”

(She ended up slowly sipping her wine whilst giving me death-stares for an hour. Thank god I’m now allowed to kick people like this out.)

Letting Him Down Tenderly

, , , , , , | Right | December 29, 2018

(I work at the cafe in a large department store, generally by myself. It was three minutes until closing, so I had my oven turned off, which I’m required to do five minutes before closing down. This means that our made-to-order items can no longer be sent through. A guest and her daughter come up to my counter.)

Guest: “Can I get two orders of chicken tenders, please?”

(The chicken tenders are a made-to-order item, and take fourteen minutes.)

Me: “I’m sorry, we are closing in three minutes, and my oven is turned off for the night.”

Guest: *storms off angrily*

Daughter: *trying to defuse the situation* “I’m sorry! We’re sorry! Have a good night.”

Guest: *who is still in earshot* “DON’T APOLOGIZE TO THAT B****!”

(The daughter glared in her mother’s direction, then gave me one more apology before following her mother out the door. At least the daughter understood.)

They Get Zero Refund

, , , , , | Right | December 29, 2018

(I work behind the customer service desk at a chain grocery store.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this chicken. My husband bought it earlier today, but one of the breasts looks a little odd to me.”

Me: “All right, do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “Right here.”

(She hands me over her packed chicken breasts and her receipt. I examine the chicken; it doesn’t look off to me, and it’s still within the sell-by date, but I shrug and check her receipt. And then I notice something.)

Me: “Uh, you are aware that this chicken was ‘buy one, get one free,’ right?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s correct.”

(I double-check the price on the receipt and on the chicken, she’s returning the package she didn’t have to pay for.)

Me: “So you know that you got this package for free.”

Customer: “But I want my money back.”

Me: “Yes, but this isn’t the package you paid for. You got this one for free as part of the sale.”

Customer: “But I want my money back.”

(We went back and forth for a bit before I called my manager and asked what to do. He said to make a one-time exception and give her the money. I had to return almost ten dollars worth of chicken she initially got for free. I couldn’t believe how spineless my manager was, and the smug little smirk the lady shot me as she walked away soured my mood for the rest of my shift.)

A Gluten For Punishment, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | December 29, 2018

(I work security and my main job is to check bags or folded blankets for prohibited items such as outside food/drink, knives, etc. We can make exceptions for medical reasons. One can also buy food, candy, and drinks inside.)

Me: *after explaining to a group consisting of a young girl and elderly couple that they can’t bring in outside food/drink*

Elderly Man: “This is gluten-free popcorn! It’s the only thing we can eat here!”

Me: “Okay, I can allow that. And the M&Ms?”

Young Girl: *scoffs, rolls eyes, and tosses candy in the trash*

Elderly Man: “Those were gluten-free M&Ms!”

(I give an apologetic smile but otherwise ignore him and move on because we’re swamped with people coming through the line.)

Me: *to the next lady* “Hello! Could I check your blankets, please?

Elderly Man: *appearing next to me* “THOSE ARE GLUTEN-FREE BLANKETS!”

A Gluten For Punishment, Part 2
A Gluten For Punishment

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