Needs Excuses With Some Bite To Them

, , , , | Working | August 29, 2018

(I work in the kitchen of a tourist town restaurant. In the summer, buses of 50 or so senior citizens come from all over to eat and enjoy the view. We know about their arrival well beforehand and we have a prepared menu for them, which includes salad, their choice of steak or fish entree, and a dessert. Since it is summer, the restaurant is full already and the kitchen staff are a little stressed. Having the seniors’ food prepped and ready to go makes the whole process easier. A waitress comes down with six steak dinners on a serving tray. The kitchen is very busy, so she shouts to get noticed.)

Waitress: “Hey, boss, I have six orders of steak for the senior bus that need to be fish, instead.”

(The boss, who is also the head chef, slams something on the counter and yells back at her.)

Boss: “What the h***?! They get what they pre-ordered! We don’t have time to remake orders for them for no good reason!”

(The waitress, who is also pretty frazzled, slams down the tray.)

Waitress: “You want a good reason? I’ll give you a good reason! These poor old people forgot their d*** teeth and can’t eat their d*** steak! Now can I get six fish dishes, please?!”

(I have never heard a place go so quiet so quickly in all my life. Props to my boss, though, for saying, “Now that’s a d*** good reason,” and making them the fish.)

Sickeningly Delicious

, , , | Working | August 29, 2018

(I am standing in an ice cream shop where I am the only other customer besides a mother who is perusing the flavors with her young child. There are two girls behind the counter, one of whom is fixing my order.)

Mother: *pointing to the colorful confetti one that attracted the kid’s attention* “How is the birthday cake flavor?”

Employee Helping Her: “It’s disgusting.”

(The other girl elbows her, and she tries again.)

Employee Helping Her: “Um, I mean… It’s disgusting how delicious it is. It’s nauseatingly good.”

Married To A Sensitive Little Cupcake

, , , , | Right | August 29, 2018

(I am stocking shelves when a customer comes up to me. I can tell he has no idea what he is looking for, and can tell that he was sent to get an item.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Yes, I am looking at all the cake mixes, and can not find any that are for cupcakes.”

Me: “It is the same mix for either a whole cake or cupcakes. If you look at the back of the box, it shows you all the information for cupcakes.”

Customer: “But my wife sent me for chocolate cupcake mix. She will yell at me if I don’t get one called cupcake mix.”

(By this time the wife comes down the aisle.)

Wife: “Did you get the cake mix for the cupcakes?”

Husband: “No, there is not one called cupcake mix.”

Wife: *turns to me* “Is he that stupid to think it is a different mix?”

Me: “I tried to show him that it is the same mix, but he was afraid that you would yell at him.”

An Expensive Mi-Steak

, , , , | Right | August 29, 2018

(I work as a manager in a high-end restaurant. During one shift I notice a woman has barely touched her rib-eye steak — our steaks are well-known at this establishment — so I approach their table.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. I noticed you didn’t touch your rib-eye. Was everything okay?”

Customer: “I’m so sorry. Everything else was delicious, but I don’t like this rib-eye.”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that, ma’am. We can make you something new, if you’d like. But I will certainly take this off the check for you.” *it’s a $30 steak* “May I ask what was wrong with it?”

Woman: “It was cooked just fine, but it was too tender and very fatty. I hate fat, and it’s all throughout it.”

(I facepalmed as I threw out this delicious-looking steak. Why did she order the rib-eye when it’s known for being tender, and one of the fattiest and most delicious cuts of steak?)


, , , , , , , | Learning | August 28, 2018

My wife is a preschool teacher. While attending a seminar, she heard this story from a lecturer:

“We used to use macaroni glued to paper for art projects. One day I noticed my aide digging through the garbage for macaroni. She explained that she would soak it off the paper to feed her family, as she was on a tight budget. I felt bad that we were using food for art while others went hungry. So, we no longer use any foodstuffs in our art.”

The lecturer seemed very proud of herself, and never saw the irony.

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