Unable To Ketchup With This Incompetence

, , , , | Working | March 15, 2018

One of the cooks at our local [Fast Food Place] has repeatedly messed up my order. I finally found out why one day.

I ordered a cheeseburger, no ketchup. They handed it to me with a special order note verifying it was made with no ketchup.

At home, I unwrapped it and lifted it to take a bite. Ketchup dripped onto my shirt. The burger not only had only ketchup (not even cheese), but it had at least six times the regular amount of ketchup!

I called. The manager spoke to the cook. I could hear him yelling, “BECAUSE THAT’S THE ONLY WAY A HAMBURGER TASTES GOOD!”

A Fruity Bunch

, , , , | Right | March 10, 2018

(A group of Chinese tourists come into our café. They clearly know each other well. When it comes to names:)

Tourist #1: “Mango.”

Tourist #2: “Apple.”

Tourist #3: “Banana.”

Tourist #4: “Grape.”

Tourist #5: “Strawberry.”

Tourist #6: “Peach.”

(My first thought was they decided to have fun, but given all the lists of weird English names of Chinese people I’ve seen, I have to wonder if those are actually their English names, perhaps picked out together?)

They Pho-got To Mention

, , , , , | Working | March 7, 2018

(It’s my daughter’s birthday, and a brand-new pizza restaurant has just opened up down the road from my house. We are very excited to try it out, because most of the places around us are chain pizza places. We call ahead and make a reservation for ten people on a Wednesday night, and we ask the lady on the phone about what pizza toppings they have, etc. When we arrive at the restaurant Wednesday, we are seated right away, and everything seems okay.)

Waiter: “Welcome to [Pizza Place]. Can I start you off with drinks?”

Me: “We will have a pitcher of ginger ale, [soda], and water, please, and we already know what type of pizzas we would like to order.”

Waiter: “Oh, we don’t have pizza tonight. We only serve pizza a couple nights a week.”

(My family and I laugh a bit but notice the waiter is not laughing with us.)

Me: “Wait. Are you serious?

Waiter: “Yeah… No pizza tonight.”

Me: “But the business has ‘pizza’ in the name! I talked with the lady on the phone about pizza! She never once said there would be no pizza on the night of our reservation!”

Waiter: “We serve pho the rest of the week. Would you like pho?”

Me: “No!”

(We walked out and ended up ordering from a chain pizza place.)

Creating A Cocoa-phony Of Bad Flavor

, , , , | Related | March 6, 2018

(I’m making brownies, and my three-year-old little brother is helping. I measure the ingredients and he pours them in. For this particular recipe, you mix the cocoa, baking soda, oil, and water together before adding sugar.)

Brother: “It looks yummy! I’m gonna taste it!”

Me: “Don’t taste it yet. There’s no sugar in it. It’ll taste gross.”

Brother: “Nuh-uh! It’s chocolate; it’ll be yummy!”

(And to prove me wrong, he dips his finger in the incomplete batter and takes a big lick of it.)

Brother: “See, [My Name]? It’s yum—” *face slowly crumples in a grimace of disgust* “Ick!”

Me: *laughs* “Go get a drink of water, and then come back and help me add sugar.”

(I let him lick the bowl after we’d finished to help him forget the taste of sugarless cocoa. Sometimes a kid just has to learn things through experience, I suppose.)

Doesn’t Have A Taste For The Job

, , , , , | Working | March 5, 2018

(We go to a fast food drive-thru. Note for the purpose of the story: my mom is allergic to artificial sweeteners, and cannot have diet soda, whereas I am diabetic and need to drink a diet soda.)

Mom: “I would like a #1 combo with a large diet soda and a #2 combo with a large regular soda, please!”

Worker: *sounding annoyed* “Pull up to the window.”

(We figure she has just had a bad day. Mom pulls up, and the worker hands us two UNLABELED sodas.)

Mom: “Excuse me, miss? Which one of these is the diet and which one is the regular?”

Worker: *completely serious* “I don’t know. I’ll have to taste them.”

Mom: “Uhhh, NO. You’ll redo them. NOW!”

(A passing manager heard the commotion, got the story, and quickly remade our sodas. Then, he apologized and slammed the window shut so he could yell at the worker. My mom and I looked at each other, confused, and then burst out laughing. We did not see that worker again.)

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