Customers Like This Are Why The Chicken Crossed The Road

, , , , , | Right | June 26, 2017

Customer: “I’ll have the chicken club.”

Me: “I’m sorry; we only have ham and turkey club sandwiches.”

Customer: “No chicken?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Just ham or turkey?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “What about a smoked meat club?”

Me: “No, sorry.”

Customer: “Chicken?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Ham or turkey?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “No smoked meat?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “I can’t get a smoked meat club?”

Me: “Sorry. Only turkey or ham.”

Customer: “Chicken?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Smoked meat?”

Me: “No.”

(This continued for a solid three minutes while a coworker stood nearby laughing. The customer ended up ordering spaghetti and I died a little inside.)

Cucumboincidence

, , , | Working | June 25, 2017

(We usually serve jugs of tap water with ice and a slice of lemon. I notice that the manager has put a slice of cucumber in one for a table. I go over to get it.)

Me: “Why did you put cucumber in it?”

Manager: “Why not?”

Me: “What if they’re allergic?”

Manager: “Who’s allergic to cucumber?! They’re more likely to be allergic to citrus.”

(I take the jug over to the table.)

Customer: “Can we get one without the cucumber? I’m allergic. The lemon’s fine, though!”

Sounds Like They Really Needed Both Coffees

, , , | Right | June 23, 2017

(I am waiting for my friend to order a drink. After about 30 seconds he sits down with a large coffee in hand.)

Me: “That was quick!”

Friend: “I know, but it doesn’t taste right.”

(I look in the cup.)

Me: “It looks like regular black coffee.”

Friend: “I know, but I ordered a cappuccino. This doesn’t taste right.”

Me: “It says ‘Rach’ on the cup. It isn’t yours.”

Friend: “I know. It doesn’t taste right though.”

(Eventually his name was called and he picked up the drink he actually ordered. He continued to complain about Rach’s drink until he finished it, saying that, for a cappuccino, it didn’t taste right. I convinced him to leave a large tip in the jar on the front counter as we left, enough to cover the cost of Rach’s coffee. He didn’t understand why.)

The Sauce Of Your Frustration Is The Cheese

, , | Working | June 22, 2017

(I’m at a movie theater which has a large concessions stand with a coffee bar, hot foods counter, and coolers and racks to get pre-packaged items. At the end are two cash registers to cash out. I go up to the hot foods counter to order.)

Me: “Hi, could I get an order of pretzel bites with butter and salt, please? Oh, and I don’t need any cheese sauce with them.”

Employee #1: “The pretzels will be around a minute, but the cheese sauce is free.”

Me: “I know it’s free, but I don’t like it, and won’t eat it, so there’s no point.”

(I smile at him. He stares back at me like I’ve sprouted antenna for a moment.)

Employee #1: “Uh… sure.”

(While the pretzel bites are being made I pick up a bottled drink from one of the coolers. When I come back to the hot counter, Employee #2 is making my pretzel bites. When they are ready, he reaches into a warming rack with the cheese sauce cups among other things.)

Me: “Oh, is that for me? I don’t want the cheese sauce, so I’ll just take the pretzel bites. Thanks.”

Employee #2: *with a blank look* “The cheese sauce is free.”

Me: “I know, but I won’t eat it, so…”

Employee #2: “But… it’s free…”

Me: “I know it’s free, but I don’t want it.”

(At this point he is trying to hand me the pretzel bites with the sauce. Giving up, I just take them.)

Me: “Thank you.”

(The warming rack where the cheese came from is actually open to both the employees behind the counter, and the customers because there are pre-packaged hot dogs and nachos in them along with the sealed cups of cheese sauce. So I put the cheese sauce back, and go to check out around the corner.)

Cashier: “You know that the pretzel bites come with cheese sauce, right?”

Me: “Yes. I don’t like and won’t eat it so I requested the pretzel bites without it.”

Cashier: “Oh, ok, I just wanted to make sure you knew. Enjoy your movie.”

(At least the cashier listened to me, but really is not wanting nacho cheese sauce on buttered and salted pretzel bites that weird?)

The Bizarre Sight Is A Gift In Of Itself

, , , | Right | June 22, 2017

Customer: “Can you wrap this pomegranate?”

Me: “You mean in plastic?”

Customer: “No, in gift wrap”

Me: “Um… okay.” *boss comes in to see me gift wrapping a pomegranate*

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