Intolerant Of Your Gluten-Tolerance, Part 2

, , , , , , , | Right | March 21, 2018

After making me put the kitchen on allergy alert and cook her catfish on tin foil with no seasoning due to “severe gluten and dairy allergies,” a customer asked for a biscuit.

I told her they have both butter and gluten in them, and she responded, “Oh, well, I can have a little.”

Intolerant Of Your Gluten-Tolerance

Getting Crabby About The Meat

, , , , , | Right | March 21, 2018

(I am working as a bartender in a large chain restaurant. I have a customer who is perusing the appetizer menu.)

Customer: “Do you guys make your seafood nachos with real crab meat?”

Me: *smiling ruefully* “No, they are actually made with imitation crab meat.”

Customer: *victoriously* “So, you can’t really call them, ‘seafood nachos,’ can you?”

Me: “Well, sir, the imitation crab meat is Alaskan Pollock, so yeah, we pretty much can.”

Customer: *hmph*

Celebrating The Holidays By Half

, , , , | Hopeless | March 20, 2018

(We sell crumble cake in various sizes; we can sell the whole plate, half of it, or a quarter. My coworker has a customer who already ordered a coffee and is now looking at the cake we offer.)

Customer: “Oh, I’ll take some of that crumble cake there; that looks delicious!”

Coworker: “Sure! Would you like the whole plate or half of it?”

Customer: “Ha, half of it will do; I’ll never finish that whole plate.” *laughing* “Well, unless you want some of it, too!”

Coworker: *also laughing* “Well, I wouldn’t say no to that, and I’m sure my coworkers won’t, either!”

Customer: “Well, then. Take the whole plate, please. I’ll pay for both halves, and one is yours!”

(My coworker starts laughing again, but she quickly realizes the customer is actually serious.)

Customer: “Yes, I mean it! It’s almost Christmas, and I love coming here. You are always friendly, all of you here, and the cake is awesome. Take it as an early Christmas treat.”

(They finished the transaction with my coworker thanking him, then she took our half of the plate into the back and related the story to us. My other coworker and I thanked the customer, too, before he left. It really made our day, and that cake was awesome.)

Someone Brought Home The Bacon

, , , , | Working | March 20, 2018

(My friend and I go to a popular fast food chain known for its breakfast sandwiches. My friend orders a sausage and egg breakfast sandwich. The clerk goes to work making his sandwich, and then this happens.)

Clerk: “I’m sorry, sir; it appears we’re out of sausage. Is it okay if we use bacon, instead?”

Friend: “Sure.”

Clerk: “I’m sorry, sir; it appears we’re out of eggs. Is it okay if we use bacon, instead?”

Friend: “Um… Okay.”

(As expected, his sausage and egg breakfast sandwich became just a mass of bacon on an English muffin. We just sat there bewildered at how a restaurant that specializes in breakfast can run out of sausage and eggs!)

A Sauce Of Confusion

, , , , , , | Working | March 15, 2018

(I go to a sandwich shop for lunch. There’s one girl making sandwiches alone, but luckily it isn’t busy, because this ensues:)

Me: “I’d like the regular chicken carbonara on wheat, please.”

Worker: “For here or to go?”

Me: “For here.”

(She starts making my sandwich.)

Worker: “I accidentally put ranch on it.”

(She then starts to put other toppings on it.)

Me: “Wait! I don’t like ranch!”

Worker: “Oh… I’ll just start a new one, then? Do you even want alfredo sauce?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s what comes on the sandwich.”

Worker: “And it’s to go?”

Me: “For here.”

Worker: “I thought you said to go.”

(My sandwich turned out as described by some miracle! I still can’t believe she was just going to try to sub alfredo for ranch, instead of just making the sandwich I asked for.)

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