Fudge In Flight

, , , | Right | June 9, 2009

Customer: “This isn’t a hot fudge sundae.”

Coworker: “No, it isn’t. I’m afraid we don’t make it with hot fudge here.”

Customer: “Then I’m not paying for it!”

Coworker: “I’m afraid you have to. The menu states that it’s not made with hot fudge.”

Customer: “FINE!” *throws the ice cream at my coworker*

Coworker: *covered with ice cream* “I’m suddenly glad we don’t have hot fudge.”


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Mixing In Danger Costs Extra

, , , , | Right | June 8, 2009

Customer: “Hi, I’d like vanilla ice cream with peanut butter cups mixed in, please.”

Me: “Okay, is that all for you?”

Customer: “Yes, and just so you know, I’m allergic to peanuts. Can you make sure it’s nut-free?”

Me: “Uh… you just ordered PEANUT butter cups for your ice cream…

Customer: “I thought you guys could do allergy-safe ice cream. The sign says you can make sure my food is allergy-safe!”

Me: “Well, yes… but you need to order food without peanuts in it first…”


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I Cry, You Cry, We All Cry For Ice Cream

, , | Right | June 4, 2009

Coworker: “Hi, welcome to [Ice Cream Store]. Can I take your order?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like coffee ice cream with Heath bar mixed in.”

(My coworker mixes the ice cream and then hands it to the customer, a 40-year old woman. She begins to CRY in front of everyone.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, is something wrong?”

Customer: *sobbing* “My Heath bar isn’t crunched up enough!”

Coworker: “I’m so sorry about that, ma’am. I can make you another one.”

(The coworker makes another one and pounds the Heath bar into extra fine pieces. He then hands it to the customer.)

Coworker: “Is this mixed up enough, ma’am?”

Customer: *wailing* “I can’t tell now because it’s mixed into the ice cream!”

(The customer paid, stormed off, and left the store sobbing with ice cream in hand.)


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Dinner Without A Show Is No Dinner At All

, , , | Right | June 4, 2009

(I’m cashing out a customer and bagging his groceries.)

Me: “And what’s in your bakery bag, sir?”

Customer: “A cantaloupe. I put it in there to get ripe.”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “You know what they do in California? They JUGGLE the fruit; the cantaloupes and the mangoes and the apples and such.”

Me: “Oh, that must be neat to see–”

Customer: “YOU SHOULD DO THAT!”

Me: *laughing* “That’d be interesting, but I don’t know how to juggle.”

Customer: “You mean to tell me you can’t juggle this fruit?”

Me: “I’m afraid not…”

Customer: “Then take the cantaloupe off. I don’t want it if you won’t juggle it for me.”

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Fattening Fallacies

, , , | Right | June 3, 2009

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Could I get that donut right there?” *points*

Me: “Sure thing.”

(I put it on a plate and hand it to him.)

Customer: “Can you heat it up for me, please?”

Me: “No problem. I’ll just be a minute.”

Customer: “Put it in for exactly seven seconds. If you microwave food for seven seconds, it becomes negative calories. Did you know that?”

Me: “Um… I don’t think that’s how food works.”

Customer: “Well, how would you know? You’re just a part-time employee at a coffee shop.”

Me: “I work part-time to pay for University… where I study health and nutrition…”

Customer: “What are they teaching kids these days?!” *walks away angrily without the donut*

Me: “Have a nice day?”

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