Pimento No No

, , , , , , , | Working | July 13, 2018

(This takes place at an Italian restaurant. I almost never eat at Italian restaurants as I have a LOT of food allergies, including tomatoes and peppers.)

Me: “Does the chicken and vegetable soup have peppers in it?”

Waitress: “No. There shouldn’t be. I’ll check with the chef just in case.” *leaves and comes back* “No, there aren’t any peppers. You’re good.”

Me: “Perfect. Then I’ll have that.”

(The waitress comes back with the soup and puts it in front of me. At this point, I check my soup. I always check everything, just in case, and this turns out to have something red in it… a pepper.)

Me: “Excuse me. This has peppers in it.”

Waitress: “Oh, no! Let me see that. I’ll go ask the chef immediately!” *returns five minutes later* “You can eat it. That wasn’t a pepper. It was a pimento. It’s the thing from inside the olive, you know. So you can totally have it!”

Me: “The other half of the word is ‘pepper.’”

Egging You On

, , , , , | Right | July 12, 2018

(I work in a drive-thru at a fast food store.)

Customer: “I would like a bacon egg burger.”

Me: “Was that a bacon and egg muffin?”

Customer: “Yes, but add tomato and ketchup.”

Me: “Okay, that’s $4.95. Please drive forward.”

(The customer pays, gets his muffin, and then drives away. He comes back through the drive-thru about five minutes later.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I ordered a f****** bacon egg burger, and you gave me this s***.”

Me: “I’m sorry. You ordered a bacon egg muffin with tomato and ketchup. What’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “I just wanted a burger.”

Me: “So, a hamburger with bacon, egg, and tomato?”

Customer: “Yes, just give me my f****** burger.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll get that out to you.”

(He gets his burger and drives away, but he’s soon back in my drive-thru.)

Customer: “How f****** hard is it to make me a f****** burger?”

(I’m tired of his ranting.)

Me: “So, exactly what do you want?”

Customer: “A f****** bacon egg burger.”

Me: “Yes, but what exactly on the burger and what bun?”

Customer: “A normal bun with bacon, egg, burger, tomato, and ketchup.”

Me: “Right, I’ll get that to you.”

(I then go make a quarter-pound burger with no cheese added, bacon, egg, and tomato, with ketchup, worth double his original payment.)

Me: “There you are; just so you know, next time you order just say that you want a quarter po—”

Customer: “I don’t give a f*** what I say; you should know what I want!” *drives away*

Gluten Out Of Ten For Ignorance, Part 4

, , , , , , | Working | July 11, 2018

(I have Celiac’s, so I eat a gluten-free diet. I recently learned that a nearby restaurant serves gluten-free toast, so my husband and I decide to go for breakfast and try it out.)

Me: “I’ll have the [meal] with gluten-free toast, please.”

Server: “Oh, I don’t think we do that anymore. I’ll just bring you the pancakes.”

Me: “[Restaurant] has gluten-free pancakes now, too?”

Server: “Yep! Well, whole wheat, so it’s pretty much the same thing.”

(We stared at her for a few seconds before politely asking to speak to someone else. The next server took my order and brought my toast with no problems at all.)

Gluten Out Of Ten For Ignorance, Part 3
Gluten Out Of Ten For Ignorance, Part 2
Gluten Out Of Ten For Ignorance

Putting The Tuna Into Unfortunate

, , , , , , | Right | July 11, 2018

(For a brief span of time my cafe served a full menu of food items for breakfast and lunch. Since then we have discontinued the menu, but during the time we had it, every so often a person would come in and be very interested in the ingredients of our very simple fare. All ingredients are listed in three different places in plain sight, on boards and on physical handheld menus. A woman walks in and looks over the menu with her friend close behind her. She reads over the ingredients of a tuna melt sandwich and chats with her friend about meat. Apparently, she is vegan and is unsure what she wants to order. After about three minutes, I ask her if she knows what she would like to get.)

Customer: “I am thinking of ordering the tuna melt; is it vegan? Because I absolutely cannot have cheese as a vegan.”

Me: “I am sorry; are you asking me if the sandwich has meat in it? Because it certainly has fish in it.”

Customer: “No, I just want to know about the cheese. I am a very strict vegan, and need to know exactly what is in this sandwich.”

Me: *not sure how to respond* “Yes, it has cheese in it, but it also has fish.”

Customer: “BUT THE CHEESE! Just for love of God, does it have cheese? Don’t you know what a vegan is? I cannot have cheese at all!”

Me: “Yes, it has cheese in it, but it also has fish. It is marked as not vegan, or even potentially vegetarian on the menu. Perhaps you would be interested in one of the other items that boast no animal products of any type.”

Customer: *starts to get angry* “Are you even listening to me? I said I am V-E-G-A-N. Cheese is the issue.”

Me: “Yes, it has cheese on it. However, we cannot serve you vegan tuna, as it does not exist in the way you might think it does. But you are more than welcome to order it sans cheese.”

Customer: “This is so insulting! I will never come here again!”

(Her friend chimes in:)

Customer’s Friend: “How dare you question her vegan lifestyle? I was told this place accommodates vegan options!”

Me: “Look, lady, fish isn’t vegan, and neither is cheese. I really don’t want you to get sick over ordering food that you have said you absolutely can’t have, but I can’t make something that is meat not meat. Fish is not vegan.”

Customer: “This is an awful place; I should be able to get vegan food!”

(She stormed out. My tone of voice up until the end was very confused, trying to figure out if I was hearing her correctly. She legitimately wanted a vegan tuna sandwich.)

It Will Go Pasta It’s Use-By Date

, , , , , | Friendly | July 11, 2018

(It’s my day off, and I’ve made popcorn as an afternoon snack. I don’t eat all of it, and I don’t want to throw half the bag away, so I put it in the largest container I can find: a see-through plastic one. My roommate comes home.)

Roommate: “I thought that was pasta! I was going to ask if it needed to go in the fridge!”

Me: “Haha. No, just popcorn! I didn’t want to throw it out if I might eat the rest in another day or two.”

(The next day.)

Roommate: “Your pasta-popcorn freaked me out again!”

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