Not Getting Your Just Desserts

, , , , , | Working | January 11, 2018

(I am having a bad day and decide to get some ice cream to help cheer me up. My roommate goes with me to a restaurant near us. They have a brownie sundae on the menu that I’ve been meaning to try.)

Waitress: “What can I get you?”

Roommate: “I’ll have the cheese fries.”

Me: “And I’d like the brownie sundae, please.”

Waitress: “Sure thing!”

(She leaves and comes back a few minutes later.)

Waitress: “So, um, you wanted ice cream on your sundae, right?”

Me: “Yes?”

Waitress: “My boss just told me it doesn’t come with ice cream, but you can add it for a dollar.”

Me: “What does it come with?”

Waitress: “Just, like, chocolate sauce and whipped cream. I can push for us to give it to you, and argue that it’s misrepresented on the menu.”

Me: “No… I guess I’ll just have it without.”

Waitress: “Okay. Your food should be right up.”

(She brings our food and sets down a slab of cold brownie with the saddest, deflated dollop of whipped cream on it.)

Waitress: “We’re, um, not really known for our desserts.”

(The cheese fries were still great, as usual, and of course, we tipped her, but I won’t be ordering dessert from them any time soon!)

They’re Crackers About This Holiday

, , , , , , | Working | January 11, 2018

(A Jewish friend recently moved to North Carolina. She goes to her local grocery store and finds a big display of challah bread… for Passover, AKA The Holiday Where Jews Can’t Eat Bread. She goes to the customer service desk to speak to a manager.)

Friend: “Excuse me, but why do you have a display of challah for Passover?”

Manager: “It’s challah! Don’t you Jews eat this at every holiday?”

Friend: “Not Passover. That’s the holiday that is coming up. We can’t eat leavened bread on Passover.”

Manager: “Oh… Is that why we’ve got those big boxes of Jewish crackers?”

Friend: *sighs* “Yes, that’s when we eat the big crackers.”

(The next time my friend went to the grocery store, they were selling the challah at a sharp discount.)

There’s No Sugar-Coating What This Is

, , , , , | Right | January 11, 2018

(I’m at a table handing out free samples and coupons.)

Customer: “What have we here?”

Me: “Chocolate truffles.”

Customer: *reaches for truffle* “Oh, I gave up sugar two years ago.”

Me: “Oh, that’s good!”

Customer: *pops another one in her mouth* “It just makes me sooo jittery. Mmmmm!”

Me: “I have a dollar-off coupon for them.”

Customer: “Oh, no, dear!” *pops another* “I haven’t had sugar in two years!”

Salty About The Chips

, , , , , , , | Working | January 9, 2018

(I’m a carer for a young man who has autism. Like a lot of autistic children, he can be picky about what he will and will not eat. As a reward for recent good behaviour, I take him to the local fish and chips shop for some hot chips.)

Server: “What can I get you?”

Me: “Can I please have a large chips, no salt?”

(The server sighs and stalks away. I think it is weird, but I let it go. The server cooks up a fresh order of fries… only to add salt to them.)

Me: “Sorry, but it was a large chips with no salt.”

Server: “Oh. I forgot. No big deal, though, right?” *tries to give me the chips*

Me: “No. Big deal. I need you to make a fresh order with no salt, please.”

Server: “C’mon, I know that this is just a ploy that people do to get a fresh batch of chips, and you’re just going to add salt to them. You saw me cook them fresh, so it’s fine.”

Me: “No. If I give [Boy] chips with salt, he will lick off the salt and not eat the chips. Please give me what I ordered, or I’ll be forced to ask for a manager.”

(The server sighed, rolled her eyes and muttered up a storm, but eventually she gave me an order of saltless fries. I think I’ll try somewhere else to get hot chips, next time.)

Mother Nature Doesn’t Care About Your Convenience

, , , , , , | Right | January 9, 2018

(I’m facing shelves near the produce section when a frustrated customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Where are your peaches in produce?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but peaches are out of season. We have canned or frozen ones.”

Customer: “No, I want fresh peaches. Can you check in the back?”

Me: “I’m certain we don’t have them. Fresh peaches won’t be available until the fall. We only have preserved peaches until then.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. How come every single store I go to doesn’t carry fresh peaches? I’ve been driving all over town!”

Me: “No one is going to have them; peach trees only bear fruit in the late summer. At this point in the year, the peaches would just be flowers. Fresh peaches are only available for a limited time each year. “

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Can’t they make them go faster?”

Me: “Peaches are strictly a cold-climate tree, so they can’t bear fruit year-round. All stone fruit trees need winters, then they bloom in the spring, and the peaches themselves take months to grow. Unfortunately, we just have to go by their schedule.”

Customer: “Well, that’s terrible customer service!”

Me: “Sir, the trees are doing the best they can.”

(He went away grumbling. I can understand a person not knowing about agriculture, but expecting prompt service from plants is really out of touch.)

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