Toppings Topped It Off For Him

, , , , | Right | March 4, 2019

(I work at a burger joint, which offers fries, burgers, sandwiches, and hot dogs. We also have to be told what toppings you want on your burger. My jobs there range from cashiering, lobby work, back of house, french fries, and making milkshakes. Cashiering and milkshakes together is most common as whoever is on the register usually makes the shakes when there are no more orders. It is at the end of a rush. A lot of shake orders have piled up, and my coworkers are busy with their tasks. I wash my hands, put on gloves, and am just about to start on milkshakes when a customer walks in, seemingly in a hurry. I’m annoyed that I have to take another order and make the shakes wait even longer, but I take off my gloves and go to the register.)

Me: “Hello! Welcome to [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah I want a cheeseburger and fries.”

Me: *types in orders* “What would you like on your burger?”

Customer: *looks at me confused, an eyebrow raised* “What?”

Me: “What toppings would you like us to put on your burger?”

Customer: *looks at list of toppings on counter for a second, before looking up at me and throwing his hands up in the air* “Too complicated!”

(As he stepped out I stood there in surprise. I get being in a hurry but is it really too hard to spend a few seconds telling me what you want on a burger? And of course that made me waste more time I could have spent making the multiple milkshake orders.)

No Caprese, Capiche?

, , , , , | Right | March 4, 2019

Customer: “I would like two orders of the chicken caprese with no caprese.”

Me: “Okay, it is a chicken dish based on a caprese salad which is comprised of fresh mozzarella, sliced tomato, fresh basil, and then drizzled with balsamic vinegar and olive oil. So the actual dish is a balsamic glazed chicken breast stuffed with fresh mozzarella, tomato, and basil. Which of the ingredients do you wish to avoid?”

Customer: “Caprese.”

Me: “So you want two plain chicken breasts then?”

Customer: “No, I just don’t want no caprese on it.”

Me: “Again, caprese means fresh mozzarella cheese, tomato and fresh basil leaves drizzled with balsamic vinegar, so when you say you do not want the caprese do you mean the balsamic glaze on the chicken? Do you not want the basil? Or is it the cheese, or the tomato? Because they all make up the “caprese” part of the chicken caprese dish, so saying you don’t want caprese makes it plain chicken. So can you tell me which ingredient it is you do not want?”

Customer: “Caprese.”

Me: *soul slowly dying*

Demanding ID Has Become A Throwaway Line

, , , , , | Right | March 4, 2019

(I used to work at an alcohol stand at a popular theme park. Whenever somebody wanted alcohol, I’d need to check their ID even if they were clearly older than 21, then give them a wristband so security would know that they bought it legitimately. 99% of customers totally understand this, and even when they don’t, most are fine with it when I explain it. Now, I speak with an Aussie accent, which is fun for both me and the customers, as they have a good time trying to guess where I’m from. During one shift, a woman who’d already come up came back for more alcohol, but without the wristband I’d given her, with two other people who also want drinks.)

Customer #1: “Hi, I’d like to get another drink.”

Me: “Certainly, can I see your ID again?”

Customer #1: “What? Why? You already saw it!”

Me: “I understand, but it’s the policy.”

Customer #1: “Well, I don’t have my ID. My husband has it.”

Me: “Then I’m sorry, but I can’t give you your drink.”

Customer #1: “Where are you from?”

Me: “What does it sound like?”

(She shoots off a few guesses like Ireland and England.)

*Me:” “No, none of those.”

Customer #1: “Can I get my drink?”

Me: “I need to see ID.”

Customer #1: “You didn’t ask for it last time!”

Customer #2: “It’s true! I saw that.”

([Customer #2] wasn’t even there the previous time. Eventually she storms off, but not before guessing Ireland and England as my country of origin a few more times. I even sing a few words from a song involving kangaroos, then try the Aussie national anthem, but she still doesn’t get it. A few minutes later, she storms back up with her husband and her two friends again. The husband is glaring at me, but he pulls out a bag of IDs.)

Husband: “One.” *tosses ID* “Two.”

(He repeats the process until there are four IDs in front of me. Having had enough of this nonsense by this point, I pick up the IDs and look at them before tossing them out on the counter, one by one, after checking them. His glare hardens.)

Husband: “Where is your manager?”

(They complained and my manager gave me a talking to for a minute, but I think she knew they were being ridiculous. I served them their drinks without further incident. Even though they kept guessing, including Ireland again, they never figured out where I was from, and kept cutting me off every time I tried to tell them.)

Grandma Been Raisin Some Crazy Grandkids

, , , , , , | Right | March 1, 2019

(I’m waiting in line for food at the office cafeteria, making chit-chat with one of the chefs, when an angry woman walks up and cuts in front of me.)

Woman: “Can I get some raisin sauce?”

Chef: “Raisin sauce?”

Woman: “Yes, I want some raisin sauce to go with my turkey.”

Chef: “You mean cranberry sauce?”

Woman: “No, THE RAISIN SAUCE!”

(This continues for some time.)

Chef: “We don’t have raisin sauce and I have no idea what it is.”

Woman: *now slamming her food tray on the counter* “THE RAISIN SAUCE! YOU KNOW?! LIKE GRANDMA USED TO MAKE!”

(My department now asks for the “Raisin Sauce” on the regular to keep the kitchen staff laughing through the lunch rush.)

Worst Soda Ever

, , , , , | Right | February 24, 2019

(Our restaurant has a self-serve soda fountain. It has a catch tray for drips and wasted ice. As I walk by it I see a woman scooping the ice with her hand into her cup.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but that ice isn’t clean. Other people dump out their drinks here.”

(She stops, puts the lid on the cup, and hands it to a young boy with her.)

Boy: “Granny, I don’t want that anymore!”

Grandmother: “Just take it and let’s go!”

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