Warning: Contains Stupidity

, , , , , | Right | April 12, 2018

(I work at the service counter at a big retailer in the area. Today has been a pretty bland day. A elderly customer has just come up with a value-size peanut butter to return.)

Me: “Hi, sorry about the wait. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I want to return this.”

Me: “Is there anything wrong with it?”

Customer: “Yes, it has peanuts in it.”

(And no, she did not mean that it was crunchy peanut butter. I waited until after she left to laugh about it.)

Dr. Coke Versus Diet Pepper

, , , , , , | Right | April 11, 2018

(I’m working the front register during a very busy dinner rush. My manager was helping me put together orders, but then stepped out for a few minutes to prepare a specific salad we ran out of. Due to this, I have to ask the next person in line to wait a minute while I bag a couple of orders for people who have been waiting a while. I’m currently in my last year of high school.)

Customer #1: “Well, fine! But you guys are fast food. This is in no way fast.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we are slammed, both inside and in drive-thru.”

(I finish up two orders, and then I return to the register.)

Me: “Sorry about your wait. Will this be for here or to go?”

Customer #1: “I don’t have time for your stupid questions! Give me a [combo], and make it snappy!”

Me: *marking the order as to go* “Absolutely. What would you like to drink with that?”

Customer #1: “Your dumb questions slow everything down! Get me a Dr. Coke!”

Me: *thinking I misheard her* “I’m sorry, ma’am. You said a diet coke?”

Customer #1: “NO! DR. COKE!”

Me: “I apologize, but we don’t have a Dr. Coke soda. Did you mean a Dr. Pepper?”

Customer #1: “No, you dumb***! Get me a Dr. Coke, large!”

Me: *giving up and ringing it as a Dr. Pepper* “That’ll be [total], please.”

Customer #1: “Seriously, why do they hire dropouts? I bet you didn’t even complete first grade. You don’t know what ‘fast food’ means, and you don’t know what a Dr. Coke is.”

Me: *getting fed up by her rudeness* “That’ll be out for you shortly.”

Customer #1: “Get me that Dr. Coke, right now!”

(I look around and notice my manager hasn’t returned from making more salads.)

Me: *to the next customer in line* “I’ll be right with you, sir. Sorry about the wait.”

Customer #1: “Hello! I need that Dr. Coke!”

(Unfortunately, our soda fountains are right in the customer’s view, but I go ahead and begin to dispense a Dr. Pepper.)

Customer #1: “No! No! No! I said a Dr. Coke!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am.” *getting fed up, and I decide to give a Diet Coke a try*

Customer #1: “Not DIET! DR. COKE! My God! How stupid are you?”

(By now, our line is almost to the door, and the next customer in line speaks up.)

Customer #2: “You know what, lady? This young lady has been working hard up here, and the wait has been long because they’re really busy, and you have been giving her a hard time. Seriously, I have never heard of a Dr. Coke before, and frankly, after how rude you’ve been to her, you should be happy that she’s giving you a drink, so shut up and let her do her job!”

Customer #1: “My God! The world is so stupid! That’s a Dr. Coke!” *points to the root beer* “You know what? I won’t take this!” *storms out without food or a refund*

(By this time, my manager has returned to the front and caught up on the orders. I flag him down as he’s bringing out the rude lady’s order.)

Me: “The lady who placed this order stormed out.”

Manager: “Did she get a refund?”

Me: “No, she stormed out before I could give it to her.”

Customer #2: *to me* “How much is that combo, sweetheart? I’ll take it.” *hands me over the money*

Manager: “You don’t have to pay for that, sir. Thank you for standing up to my employee. What would you like to order? It’s on the house.”

Customer #2: “I was going to order that exact combo, but with a Dr. Pepper instead of a Dr. Coke.” *winks*

Me: “You got it. Would you like anything else?”

Customer #2: “Just that customers don’t give you such a difficult time, sweetheart. You’re doing great, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.”

Me: “Thank you, sir.”

Customer #2: “Thank you. You have fantastic customer service skills, and if you ever applied for a job, I’d hire you in an instant. Keep up the great work, and take care.”

(Thank you, kind sir; once you left, everybody was much kinder, despite the long wait. You certainly made my night.)

Gluten-Free And Thought-Free

, , , , , | Working | April 9, 2018

(I’m a chef at a fairly nice restaurant that is known for offering many gluten-free options of bread, pasta, and flour. However, our lentil soup is made with flour that is not gluten-free, which we make clear to our servers. One server, who has been reminded of this multiple times, still doesn’t get it. All our entrees come with a side of soup or salad. So, an order comes back to the kitchen: gluten-free lobster pasta dish with a side cup of lentil soup.)

Me: “Hey, you know this soup isn’t gluten-free, right?”

Server: “Oh, yeah! Because of the lentils, right? I keep forgetting that lentils aren’t gluten-free.”

Me: “Uh, no. We use flour to thicken the soup. We’ve told you this multiple times.”

Server: “Wait. What’s gluten, again?”

Me: “Just go ask your table if they’re okay with soup that’s not gluten-free, or if they just want something else. We can do a lesson on gluten later.”

Server: “Okay, but I totally got this! Don’t worry; I’ll remember that lentils aren’t gluten-free in the future.”

(The customer ended up getting a different soup, which was actually gluten-free.)

Milking All The Carbs

, , , | Right | April 8, 2018

(I work in a coffee shop.)

Customer: “I’ll take the chai tea with the sugar-free milk, or whatever you have.”

Me: “…”

No Shrimping Violet

, , , , , | Right | April 6, 2018

(A server returns a dish sent back by a customer, who says she knows the shrimp isn’t cooked because it is pink. I return the shrimp to a pan to sauté it until there is a slightly golden-brown edge to the already-cooked shrimp. I take it out to the customer myself.)

Me: “Here you are, ma’am. Sorry it wasn’t to your liking. I cooked it longer for you. But so you know, that shrimp was completely cooked through and will come out like that in the future.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I mean, when I cook shrimp it turns white.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m absolutely sure. I can make you something else if you prefer, but I can’t cook the shrimp any more than it is.”

Customer: “It’s just that I’ve never had cooked shrimp that was pink before.”

Me: “Oh, I’ve never had cooked shrimp that wasn’t pink.”

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