Hasn’t Got This Parenting Thing In The Bag

, , , , , , | Right | June 28, 2017

(I work at a candy store in a mall. We have a rule posted on numerous signs that if you bag the bulk candy, you must buy it, as it is a health hazard for anyone to go dumping it back after they’ve scooped it. A man comes in with his little girl of probably six and he’s busy talking on his phone.)

Girl: “Daddy, what can I get?”

(The father waves her off and continues his phone call. She walks over and grabs a plastic bag. Before the man notices, she has packed the bag full of probably two pounds of assorted gummy candy.)

Father: “Oh, no, honey, don’t get that much!”

(Naturally, the father takes the bag and goes to dump it back into one of the gummy containers. Not only is this a health hazard, but the girl had mixed multiple kinds of candy, so it would be mixing things up.)

Me: “Sir, you can’t put that back.”

Father: “What? Why not?”

Me: “Because it is against health code to bag the candy and then put it back. It is posted all on numerous signs around the store.”

Father: “I refuse to pay for this! It’s outrageously priced and I didn’t want it to begin with!”

Me: “Sir, you are responsible for what your daughter did, even if you were unaware while you were speaking on the phone.”

(The man brings it over, pays for it, and walks out the door. He is clearly pissed of and angry at me. I hear his daughter talking as they head for the exit.)

Daughter: “Can I have some, Daddy?”

Father: “No.”

(He proceeded to drop the bag in a trash can before continuing to leave. The girl was clearly distraught. Talk about Father of the Year.)

There’s Blood In The Water

, , , , | Right | June 27, 2017

(I work at the fishmonger’s counter where we have a display selling whole, gutted salmon in bags for £4/kg. A young woman and her daughter approach the display and order some fish. This conversation takes place as I am wrapping it.)

Child: “Mummy, look at the big fish!”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s really big, isn’t it!” *pauses, to me* “What’s that red stuff? Is that blood?”

Me: “Yep. We get these in gutted so there’s a little blood from being packed immediately after.”

Customer: “I just didn’t know fish had blood.”

A Routine Poutine

, , | Working | June 27, 2017

(I am in a popular restaurant here in Canada, and if you don’t know, poutine is a Canadian treat with french fries, gravy, and cheese curds. Those are items all poutines have.)

Me: *giving my order to the waitress* “Could I get a poutine instead of fries, please?”

Waitress: “Would you like gravy on your poutine?”

Me: “Err, yes, please.”

Would Jew Risk It?

, , , , , , | Working | June 27, 2017

(My family and I are driving to Idlewild for a mini vacation, and stop at a local restaurant on our way to our cabin. We sit, are greeted pleasantly, and chat with the waitress. All perfectly pleasant, until we try to order. My mother wants to know if a particular soup has pork in it, as the meat is not specified on the menu.)

Mother: “Excuse me, could you tell me if there’s pork in this soup? Or pig of any kind?”

Waitress: “Oh, let me go check.”

(So far so good. She comes back out with the cook and the apparent owner.)

Cook: “We don’t cook this with pork in it. Can I ask why you can’t have pork? Is it an allergy?”

Mother: “No, it’s a religious thing. We’re Jewish.”

(The cook and the owner, as well as the waitress, all appear deeply confused and affronted. We try to explain the religious abstention from pork and other such forbidden foods, explaining it is our preference, not something we advised for everyone.)

Waitress: “Jewish? Well, that’s stupid. Why can’t you just eat the pork. It’s perfectly good food!”

(We were stunned, offended, and quickly left, paying for our food and throwing out the soup soon after, on the off chance they did actually put pork in it.)

No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

, , , , , , | Right | June 27, 2017

(I work in a restaurant where you can have unlimited free salad with every main course. You can also purchase just salad on its own. This occurs one afternoon after a man comes to the bar, orders one starter, and helps himself to no less than six bowls of salad. When it’s clear he’s not going to order a main, I go over to him.)

Me: “Hello there, would you like to order your main course now?”

Customer: *looks angrily at me* “No, I don’t want a main.”

Me: “I’m afraid our unlimited salad bar is only free with every main course, so you will have to order a main or pay for the salad.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this; I’m not paying for salad. It says it’s free.”

Me: “Well, it is free with every main meal, so you need to order a main course. Let me get you a menu.”

(I walk off to get him a menu and to let the manager know what’s happening. He’s pretty blunt when talking to me but always supports us. He sees the guy on the camera and loiters by my till as the guy is pretty big and rather aggressive in his tone. When I go back to him, he is still there and standing near the till.)

Me: “Have you decided on your main?”

Customer: *mumbling complaints* “I can’t believe this; this is ridiculous, having to pay for free salad.”

Me: “It’s only free with a main. You can pay just for the salad, which is obviously cheaper.”

Customer: *pays for the salad reluctantly* “I can’t believe this. It’s disgusting! What sort of a place makes you pay for salad?!”

Me: “A restaurant!”

(He stormed out and my boss, who was watching the entire exchange, snorted and disappeared into the office where I later found him crying with laughter. He tried to tell me off but failed miserably.)

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