Now We Want Grilled Cheese Hash Browns

, , , , , | Right | October 20, 2019

(I am working as a server at an all-day grill.)

Customer: “Excuse me? What’s a grilled cheese sandwich?”

Me: *trying to remain in server mode* “It’s a sandwich… with cheese… which is grilled.” *unable to keep up the server routine* “Seriously, dude. It’s the most descriptive name a food has ever been given.”

(I later bring out the food.)

Customer: “Are these hashbrowns?”

Me: “Yes…?”

Customer: “They look like potatoes!”

Me: “Um… Sometimes things look like what they’re made out of?”

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Now All The Hipsters Will Want Broccoli Ice Cream

, , , , , , | Related | October 20, 2019

A few weeks ago, my husband and I went out to dinner with our one-year-old son. My meal came with broccoli, and since I know that you have to expose a child to food several times before they are willing to try it, I put a small piece of broccoli on my son’s plate. As expected, when the meal ended and dessert came, the broccoli was still sitting on my son’s plate. 

Dessert was ice cream split between my husband, my son, and me. When we ate all the ice cream, my son wanted some more. I don’t know what came over me, but I took the broccoli off his plate and dipped it in the melting ice cream. He took the broccoli and sucked the ice cream off the broccoli, and then he removed the broccoli from him his mouth and dropped it on his plate. 

My husband and I laughed at the time, but I guess it worked because the next time we had broccoli, I gave some to my son and he ate it and wanted some more. They say if a crazy idea works, it is not crazy. I guess that’s true.

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Their Orders Got A Bit Scrambled

, , , , | Right | October 19, 2019

Customer #1: *peruses menu* “I’ll have the cheese eggs.”

Me: “Sure thing. How do you want those eggs?”

Customer #1: “Scrambled. But no cheese.”

Me: “Uh… Okay.”

(Later I am talking to a coworker.)

Me: “Ugh, I hate it when they specify cheese eggs and ask for no cheese. We literally have an option for that, yet they somehow miss it!”

Coworker: “Yeah, I hate that, too!” 

(Immediately after I complain, a couple walks in.)

Female Customer: “I want the cheese eggs. No cheese, though.”

Me: *pause* “Okay, then.”

(I charge the cheaper price because, hey, she doesn’t want the cheese.)

Male Customer: “I want the regular eggs, but I want cheese in them.”

Me: *eye twitching* “Sure.”

(I’m not going to charge a higher price to add the cheese just because he didn’t specify the cheese eggs. I speak to the coworker, away from the couple.)

Me: “How did he miss that?! She literally pointed out the cheese eggs before he even freaking ordered! Seriously?!”

(The couple comes to pay.)

Male Customer: “Hey, why did you charge us [cheaper price] for her cheese eggs with no cheese than it says on the menu?!”

Me: “Because she didn’t get cheese.”

Male Customer: “Oh. Well, why did you charge me for the cheese eggs when I asked for regular eggs with cheese?!”

Me: “Because you got cheese in your eggs.”

Male Customer: *pays for both meals while complaining*

Me: *to my coworker after they leave* “Seriously?! It would’ve been the exact same freaking price! I literally charged for what they got, not for what they specified!”

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When Everything Tastes Like Chicken

, , , , | Related | October 16, 2019

(I get home after lunchtime and notice that there is some takeaway food in my kitchen and my husband’s annoying brother is there. He uses generic terms for just about everything and expects people to know what he’s talking about.)

Brother: “There’s some fish and chips left if you’re hungry.”

(I know that he nor my husband would never eat or buy fish, and that in the past he’s tried ridiculing me after I bought fish and chips because I should have known that he meant anything but fish when he said fish.)

Me: “Is there actually any fish?”

Brother: “What? No… Yuck, there’s chicken pieces.”

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Mmm, Strawberries And Meat-Cream

, , , , , , , | Right | October 12, 2019

(I work at a store where we’re told in training to bag each different kind of raw meat separately. For example, if you had ground beef, pork chops, and strawberries, they would each get their own bag for food safety reasons. I have a customer come through my line who wants paper, which holds more, but we are out so I am filling the plastic bags as full as I can get them except for her several kinds of raw meat.)

Me: “Do you have our store card?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you wan—”

Customer: *as she’s rearranging all of the bags I packed, including the raw meat which ends up in a bag with cheese and produce* “Just as a precaution, you’re supposed to bag cold stuff together. Customers are trying to keep their food cold while they drive home, so cold stuff needs to go with cold stuff. You should try to keep them together.”

Me: *thinking* “Thanks for telling me how to do my job; enjoy your salmonella!” *speaking* “Have a great day!”

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