Not Very Tolerant To Your Intolerance 

, , , , , | Related | December 11, 2019

(I’m home to celebrate my birthday and my mother asks me what I want for dinner. I ask her to make her homemade lasagna. I’m lactose intolerant and have been since I was very young. After dinner, I start feeling nauseous and my stomach is acting up.) 

Me: “Mom, did you use lactose-free sour cream today?”

Mom: “No, of course not. I made it with proper sour cream.”

Me: “And you didn’t think to warn me about it before dinner?”

Mom: “No, I assumed you knew that I would use that.”

Me: “Why wouldn’t I assume you would serve me something I’m actually able to eat on my birthday?”

Mom: *shrugs and walks away*

(Had she just warned me before, I could have taken medicine before eating and everything would have been fine. Instead, I spent my birthday in pain and running to the toilet. Thanks, Mom.)

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The Cheese Has Melted And So Have Our Hearts

, , , , , , | Right | December 11, 2019

(My husband and I are at a restaurant we go to every month or so. We almost always get the same thing, so we order without looking at the menu, including an appetizer that’s a sort of breadstick bite, which is supposed to come with two types of sauce to dip.)

Server: “Oh, I’m sorry, they just discontinued those.”

Me: “Oh, no! Well, bad luck for us. We can just get regular breadsticks then.”

Server: “Well, if you like, I can see if they’ll still make them for you? They might still have everything we need.”

Husband: “We really don’t want to be a pain.”

Server: “I promise you aren’t! Just let me check with the kitchen first.”

(She returns shortly after and says the kitchen can make the appetizer easily, but it will only have the marinara sauce to dip, not the cheese sauce, which we are fine with since we only ever eat the marinara anyway. We thank her profusely, and a little while later we get our appetizer. All is well, and then a woman comes running out of the kitchen with a small plate.)

Employee: “Here you go! We tried to make you the cheese sauce anyway with what we had.”

Husband: “Oh, you didn’t have to do that!”

Employee: “No, no, we wanted to! It, um, might not be very good though, but we thought we’d try.”

(She dropped the plate and hurried off. When we looked we had to laugh. The sauce is supposed to be a kind of garlicky beer cheese sauce for dipping. What they brought us was what looked like quite literally just a block of melted cheddar cheese with a handful of garlic on top, quickly congealing back into a grease-covered lump. To be polite, we did TRY to eat it since they went through the trouble for us, but it really was terrible. The whole thing was hysterical, though, and we were touched that they went through the effort to first accommodate us with the appetizer, and then TRIED to make the sauce even if the result was mostly inedible. We tipped generously and sent an email in to the company website telling them how great their staff at this location was. They may not be able to improvise a cheese sauce on the spot, but at least they cared enough to try!)

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Very Overbeering

, , , , , , | Working | December 3, 2019

(My wife and I are ordering at a restaurant with our best friends, another married couple. We are all in our late 20s. Everyone else at the table orders a beer with their meal, but I order a cola with mine. Although I do drink beer, I am very thirsty from a grueling day doing physical work, and beer tends to just make me more thirsty. The waitress seems to think this is hilarious, and laughs at me at every interaction.)

Waitress: *after I order the cola* “Oh, you’re sure? No beer for you? Just a cola?”

Waitress: *when bringing over the drinks* “[Beer #1] for you, the [Beer #2] was for you, here’s your [Beer #3]. And, of course, I didn’t forget your cola!” *laughs* “Just the cola for you?”

Waitress: *when noticing I need a refill* “Oh, I’ll get you another cola. Or are you sure you don’t want to get a real drink?” *laughs*

Waitress: *when checking on the table* “Everything tasting all right, so far? Anyone need another drink? Or a refill for you? It’s just the cola, right?” *laughs* “Just the cola?”

(To be clear, it was a mocking, condescending tone used every time she referred to me or the drink. I must have had about five refills, and she brought it up every time. It was if I was just not “man enough” to drink alcohol, like the rest of the table. Did it never occur to her that some people may be a DD, or recovering from an addiction, or just genuinely wanted to drink a cola, instead?)

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The Root Of The Issue

, , , , , , | Working | November 28, 2019

(Having moved into a new neighborhood, I decide to grab some pizza at one of the local places, since it seems to have a good pizza and soda combo. I’m not really a fan of most sodas, except for root beer. This is especially true because I’ve just moved from a country where it’s not sold, so I’m craving it pretty badly. This place doesn’t list its drinks individually on the menu, just writing “sodas/juices/etc.”)

Waiter: “All right, what do you want to drink?”

Me: “Do you have root beer?”

Waiter: *looks at me with an annoyed expression* “Uh, no.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Do you have Sprite, instead?”

Waiter: “No.”

Me: “All right… What have you got then?”

Waiter: *still looking pretty annoyed at this line of questioning* “Pepsi, 7-Up, Crush, cream soda, iced tea, and root beer.”

(I stare at her for a second.)

Me: “Root beer, please.”

Waiter: “Fine. Cool. Whatever.”

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Cannot Accept De-wheat

, , , , , | Right | November 28, 2019

Customer: “Sir, I see your gluten-free bread, but I only see it in whole grain. I would like whole-wheat; can you find it for me?”

Me: “Sir, gluten-free means that it does not have wheat at all, so thus there is none”

Customer: “NO, YOU ARE WRONG! I KNOW IT IS REAL!”

Me: “Sir, I am going to have to ask you to calm down.”

Customer: “No, I will not calm down! You will get me my gluten-free whole-wheat bread now!”

(By this time, I had three coworkers join me, and we ended up kicking him out with him still screaming that he wanted his bread.)

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