Embryo-Woah

, , , | Right | August 13, 2018

(I am working in a grocery store when I overhear a woman and her two young kids. They’re currently looking at the eggs.)

Customer: “Why are there no organic eggs?”

Customer’s Son: “Mom, can’t we take these?” *holds up a box of regular eggs*

Customer: *looks at the “best before” date* “No, we can’t take these! Just look at how long these stay good. There must be tons of preservatives! “

(I left to go to the back room before laughing. Apparently the customer has never looked at the date on the organic eggs that’s just as long. It’s still a mystery to just how she imagined the preservatives are put on eggs.)

That Request Comes With A Bone Of Contention

, , , , , | Right | August 13, 2018

(I work in a cafe where there’s a hot case that we fill with pieces of breaded, fried chicken, various flavored chicken wings, chicken tenders, and two fried sides. Today we have three flavored wings: two bone-in, and one boneless.)

Customer: “What flavor are those wings?”

Me: *pointing to the sign and reciting the flavors* “I have buffalo and garlic parmesan in the bone-in wings, and sweet red chili in the boneless.”

Customer: “Well, I like that chili one, but I don’t like boneless wings. Can you just make the bone ones in that flavor?”

(I offer to take an order, which will take about twenty minutes.)

Customer: “No, I ain’t waiting that long. Just put the bones in the red chili ones.”

(Sometimes customers want their favorite sauce put over one that we’ve already made, so I offer to do this.)

Customer: “No, just take the bones out of those buffalos and put them in the chilis!”

(Another person who knew this customer came over and suggested they try the garlic parmesan. Crisis averted.)

How On God’s Green Earth?

, , , , , , | Right | August 11, 2018

(I work at an organic fast food walk-up counter at the airport; we don’t really have time to waste with any single customer. Working at an organic restaurant that serves vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free options, you have to learn all about what goes in the food, so I am pretty well-informed. A man walks up with his young daughter. We don’t have a kids’ menu, but we have some soups that people usually get for their kids.)

Me: “Thank you for coming to [Fast Food Place]! What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Hi. We had a question about the green chicken chili.”

Me: “Absolutely, what would you like to know?”

Customer: “What makes the green chicken chili green?”

Me: “The green chili peppers.”

Customer: *exasperated* “Okay, but what makes those green?”

Me: “Uh… pigment?”

(He looked kind of abashed, but they ended up getting the chili, nonetheless)

You Can’t Bake An Alaska In Wisconsin

, , , , , , | Right | August 10, 2018

I used to work at a popular ice cream-slinging burger joint that sold all manner of ice cream treats, including ice cream cakes. I was working the drive-thru when a coworker informed me that they had a complaint about a cake they purchased.

Turns out they had attempted to bake it, and they were upset that all it did was melt. I attempted to explain to them that ice cream melts when heated, but they refused to accept that a cake would melt in the oven. I told them they were beyond any help at this point, and hung up the phone.

A Monster Mash Potato

, , , , | Right | August 7, 2018

(I am working in an express lane. I am still finishing up with the first customer when the second customer sets down a small tub of plain yogurt on the belt.)

Customer #1: “Hey, did you know that if you put regular yogurt in your mashed potatoes, it makes ’em creamier?”

Customer #2: “Really? I didn’t know that! I might have to try that.”

Customer #1: “You learn something new everyday!” *walks away*

(As soon as [Customer #1] is out of earshot…)

Customer #2: *to me* “Yeah… I am definitely not trying that.”

Page 1/8812345...Last
Next »