Death Swooped In And Stole Her Voice

, , , | Right | December 1, 2019

(I am taking an order over the phone for a client who is sending a sympathy bouquet to a funeral service. The conversation is casual; she doesn’t seem emotional over the death, so I assume it’s for a business relationship or distant relative. The order goes smoothly until I ask her about the card message.)

Me: “And what would you like the enclosure card to read?”

Client: *hesitates* “Um…” 

(As that is a common response for clients unsure of what they want to say, I try to help by giving suggestions.)

Me: “‘With Deepest Sympathy,’ ‘In Loving Memory,’ ‘Thoughts and Prayers are With You’?”

Client: *pause* “What should I say?”

Me: “Most people go with something along the lines of ‘With Deepest Sympathy,’ ‘In Loving Memory,’ or ‘Thoughts and Prayers are With You.'”

Client: “Yeah, that’ll work.”

Me: “Did you have a preference?”

Client: “For what?”

Me: “Most people generally choose just one.”

Client: *no response*

Me: “Which would you prefer? ‘With Deepest Sympathy’? ‘In Loving Memory’? Or ‘Thoughts and Prayers are With You’?”

Client: “Oh! ‘Deepest Sympathy’ will work.”

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The Flower Version Of “I Saw A Book; It Was Blue”  

, , , , | Right | November 25, 2019

(I work in a flower shop.)

Customer: “Do you guys do special orders?”

Me: “We do! What do you have in mind?”

Customer: “Well, I saw one on your website that I liked. It was a big vase full of flowers.”

Me: *screaming internally* “That does actually describe several products on our website. Do you remember what it was called?”

Customer: “No.” *looks at me expectantly*

Me: “Would you be able to pull the website up on your phone and show me the one you liked?”

Customer: “Oh. Yeah.”

(He pulled out his phone and started scrolling, then proceeded to take two non-urgent phone calls while I was standing there — without apologizing or acknowledging my presence at all — and finally showed me a picture of an arrangement on the website of a popular online delivery company that isn’t affiliated with our shop at all.)

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