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Gotta Take It H2-Slowly

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Love/Romance, Popular

(I work in a flower shop. We sell cut flowers and some potted plants. Two young women approach the counter with one small potted cactus each.)

Customer #1: “We’d like these, please. Are they easy to take care of?”

Me: “Yup, they’re very easy going. Just put them in direct sunlight and water them about once a month.”

Customer #1: “Once a month?!”

Me: “That’s right. A lot of people are surprised when they hear that, but you can actually kill a cactus by overwatering it.”

(Customer #1 starts jumping around and clapping.)

Customer #2: “I told her that if she could keep a plant alive for a year, she could have a boyfriend.”

Me: “…I don’t think the point of having a boyfriend is to keep him alive.”

Needs To Wake Up And Smell The Roses

| Mexico | Crazy Requests

(A customer enters the flower shop with roses in his hands.)

Customer: “Hi. Can you make me a floral arrangement? I already bought the roses.”

Me: “Yes. It is going to cost $20.”

Customer: “Wait! Do I have to pay you?!”

Crazy Is Flowering

, | NJ, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work in a flower delivery company call center, in customer service. We take orders and send them out to local floral shops all over the country. I’m working in ‘order modification.’)

Me: “Thank you for calling. This is [My Name] speaking. Can I start by getting your name?”

Customer: “My name? Why do you need that?”

Me: “I need to identify who is calling and how to address you, but that’s okay. Can I have your recipient’s name?”

Customer:Recipipant? What’s a recipipant?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, the RECIPIENT is who is getting the flowers. May I have their name?”

Customer: “Well… I don’t know what a recipient is but the delivery getter’s name is [Recipient]. I need you to change my order. I need you to change my name to spell it the correct way.”

Me: “Ma’am, I was able to find your order by the recipient’s name. I can change your spelling of your name for you. Can you tell me the correct spelling?”

Customer: “No. I will not tell you. You have no right to ask me things this personal. You can fix it yourself. Goodbye.” *hangs up*

Supervisor: “I didn’t know you were so intrusive and psychic. How do you get all the crazies?”

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