Unfiltered Story #203908

, , | Unfiltered | August 5, 2020

(I am selling a few video games online. One of them is a very popular free roam game which I had already sold.)

Customer: I am interested in these items.
Me: Okay, which game are you interested in? I no longer have [very popular free roam game]
Customer: I want [very popular free roam game]
Me: …

Not If The American Cheese Has Anything To Say

, , , , , , | Working | August 4, 2020

Coworker: “Every day, I worry that the German bologna will invade the Polish ham.”

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You Still Wood Not Understand

, , , , , | Related | August 3, 2020

I’m the author of this story, among other submitted shenanigans between my father and me, just to give some context to our relationship. I’ve recently purchased a house; my father and I are in the great room working on remodeling while my roommate is in the back bedroom painting.

Dad and I are passionately discussing various topics and, since we are not in public, the volume controls are off. We’re not yelling at each other, but we are definitely yelling to each other, despite standing side-by-side. I hear my roommate enter and, when he doesn’t move or speak for a few moments, turn to address him.

Me: “Hey, what’s up? Need help?”

Roommate: “No. It sounded like you two were fighting, so I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. I can’t tell whether you guys are ever actually angry at each other or not.”

Me: “Nope! No fighting! I appreciate your concern, though.”

Roommate: “Well, that’s good.”

Matter resolved, I turn back to what I was doing, and my dad and I immediately pick back up as if there had been no pause. However, I realize after a minute that my roommate is still standing there, so I turn again.

Me: “Everything okay? We can quiet down a bit if we’re being too distracting?”

Roommate: “Oh, no! Now that I know you’re not arguing, I was just enjoying the entertainment. I’ll get back to it, then!”

Dad: *Laughing* “We’re way cheaper than television!”

Related:
You Wood Not Understand

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Polly Participates In Perilous Pranks!

, , , , , | Friendly | August 3, 2020

After totaling my car step-mother’s old car, I’m given an old Ford Escort hatchback that was donated to her church by a sweet little old lady who had absolutely no idea how to drive with a standard transmission. The gears were ground completely smooth because, by her own instructions she’d left on how to drive the car, she’d never used the clutch to change gears and maybe didn’t even know what the third pedal was for.

The car turned out to be a money sink, for various reasons, but it was mine and I loved it and would often volunteer to chauffeur any number of friends around. This became all the more fun for me when, after taking a particularly hard turn one day, the keys went flying out of the ignition and across the cab. After my initial panic and a bit of experimentation, I learned that the keys could be pulled straight out of the ignition after starting the car and the car would remain running. How exciting!

From then on, whenever I had someone new in the passenger’s seat, I would wait until we were cruising along and then casually pull my keys out and say, “Can you hold this?”

It turns out that a lot of people will just take whatever you hand them without looking first. I got reactions ranging from laughter, to surprised swears, to asking if I had a set of dummy keys, to everything in between, all without crashing — as I learned only just recently that you can actually turn the car off like this if you accidentally turn the key, and say goodbye to power steering.

That old boat of a car had plenty of — often very costly — quirks, but the key trick was by far my favorite. You were a good ol’ car, Polly. I hope you’re still running and accidentally scaring the bejesus out of people wherever you ended up after I finally sold you.

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Unfiltered Story #202150

, , , , | Unfiltered | August 2, 2020

I work in a shop at a theme park that sells mostly clothes and accesories like hats and socks but also has 4 scarves in varying colors. I’m bringing a scarf to fill the display when a guest puts a scarf they were looking at on the shelf. We dispaly the scarves so u can the emblem on the one end without pulling it out, and most guests dont put it back like that (including this one). I made a mental note to check the display again in a minute or 2 once the guest had wandered off so they didnt feel bad about putting it up wrong and just fold the one I was bringing in half (the tag is placed to the scarf is always in half so this was like folding it in half twice) and place it on the top of the second pile. The guest sees this and takes her scarf back off and folds it in half and puts it back.

Me: Thank you! *smile*

I turned around to re-roll a towel on the display next to it. I still had to fix the scarf once the guest left (the embelm was upside down) but it made my day that she tried to help. I know they probably wont read this but thank you random guest for trying to help! :)