An Entrepreneur In The Making

, , , , | Related | January 29, 2021

It is mid-January. I am helping my six-year-old clean his room. He has asked me to move his play kitchen so he can open a restaurant and “cook” food for his stuffed animals. Shortly after opening, his restaurant gets a call on the play phone and I overhear this one-sided conversation.

Son: “Hello? You want some food? Okay, food is a quarter.” *Pause* “Oh, you’re poor? Well, you’d better find a quarter or money that equals a quarter on the ground because we don’t give food for free.” *Pause* “Unless it’s Christmas. But it’s not Christmas, so food is a quarter.” *Hangs up*

Later, we found a dollar under his train table. He told me to keep it because I’m a good mommy.

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A Ham-Fisted Attempt To Help You

, , , | Right | January 29, 2021

Customer: “I want a pound of ham, please.”

Manager: “Which kind of ham?”

Customer: “Excuse me?!”

Manager: “Do you want honey, black forest, Virginia, boiled…?”

Customer: “You know what? Just forget it!

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Not Bready For This Level Of Cheapness, Part 2

, , , | Right | January 26, 2021

I work in an Italian restaurant. While it is a chain with hundreds of stores, we make everything from scratch. Like many restaurants of its type, we offer complimentary sliced bread to every table.

This weekend, our slicer has been broken, but we have simply given the bread unsliced and explained the situation, which most customers have accepted, but I’ve had the following conversation at least three times.

Me: “Here is your bread and olive oil. Just to let you know, our bread slicer is broken and we couldn’t get a replacement this weekend, so the bread is unsliced.”

Customer: “What? The bread is the whole reason we come here! What are you going to do about it?”

Me: “Well, we’re getting a new slicer as soon as possible, hopefully on Monday, so—”

Customer: “No! What are you going to do about it for me, right now?”

Me: *Sighing* “I’ll tell you what. For your trouble, I’ll comp the bread off your bill.”

Remember, this bread is already free. I generally hope they’ll realize I’m joking, and how ludicrous it is to demand compensation for your free food being ever so slightly less convenient, but, sadly, I still get this when the cheque comes out:

Customer: “Where’s my discount for the bread?”

Related:
Not Bready For This Level Of Cheapness

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Identity Crisis, Part 2

, , , | Right | January 26, 2021

I work in a pack and ship store that also happens to have mailboxes that people can rent. I answer the phone one day.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Post Office]; how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Thank you for answering! I just have a couple of questions, so I was hoping I could get some information from you.”

Me: “Of course! What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “I have a driver’s license, so what would you recommend?”

Me: “Sorry, recommend for…?”

Customer: “Oh! For identification.”

Me: “Identification for what, ma’am?”

The customer suddenly snaps, acting as if it should be the most obvious thing in the world.

Customer: “For opening a mailbox at your store! Oh, my God! What forms of identification do I need to open a mailbox?!”

Related:
Identity Crisis

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Inject A Little Patience For Your Patients

, , , , , | Healthy | January 24, 2021

I have an injectable maintenance medication which is administered every three months. Once I began nursing school and was signed off on injection administration, my doctor said it was stupid to have me come into the office to get this medication administered since I routinely did it for others as part of my clinicals. I was ordered to call in with the date, location given, and lot/expiration date. For three years, I did not have any issues doing this. That is, until the doctor hired a new nurse.

I call in.

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name], born [Date Of Birth]. I’m calling in with the information on my injection.”

Nurse: “What do you mean, ‘calling in with the information’?”

Me: “Oh, the doc allows me to self-administer at home and call the information in.”

The nurse goes BALLISTIC. 

Nurse: “What the h*** do you mean self-administer?! You aren’t allowed to do that! You must come in to have a nurse give that! I’m going to report you to the doctor and he’s going to fire you as a patient.”

Me: “I’m a nurse. I literally work in the building next door to your office. [Doctor] thinks it’s stupid for me to come in for this. It wastes my time and your office’s time.”

Nurse: “Don’t you lie to me, girlie!”

She continued screaming at me.

At this, I’d had enough and told her I was hanging up. I went to work early the next day to go speak to the nurse manager for that office. I was informed that it wasn’t an issue any longer as the doctor had heard her screaming at me. He waited and then informed her that I was indeed a fellow nurse and he didn’t allow his nurses to treat patients or fellow colleagues like that.

A nurse I work with told me about watching security unceremoniously removing a nurse from the building next door the previous day.

It’s not often that instant Karma occurs, but when it does, it’s glorious.


This story is part of our Best Of January 2021 roundup!

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