No Foreigners Are Allowed In Fictional Fantasy Worlds!

, , , , , , | Friendly | October 3, 2018

I’m playing a phone game where you can create a “guild.” Aside from the group chat, there really isn’t much interaction. You each set up a team of your own warriors to fight the boss, and you “collaborate” by each being able to attack the boss twice over 24 hours. The boss doesn’t heal, but it also doesn’t give out a reward until it is dead. Everyone who fights gets a reward, but whoever does the most damage to the boss gets the highest one.

In most of these guilds, the members don’t even speak the same language. The game doesn’t have servers by country. The guilds show up and dissolve without much reason. People get kicked from them if they’re inactive, if they’re doing too much damage and the leader’s jealous, or if the guild is full and the leader’s friends want a slot. It’s not a very social or coherent thing.

I’ve joined the latest guild, and I actually speak the leader’s language — English! As per usual, the group chat is empty except a reminder to fight the boss and upgrade your team. We get some Spanish-only speakers, who I can understand but the leader can’t.

About a week later, the leader quits and gives the guild to one of the Spanish speakers. The new guild description says this:

“I quit because there are too many foreigners here!”

The Spanish speaker leaves that up, and says (translated):

“Hi, everyone! I was appointed guild leader. Let’s all have fun!”

I’m still not sure if I should tell them.

That’s Exactly What “Expired” Means

, , , , , | Right | October 2, 2018

(I work in the grooming salon at a popular pet supply store. It’s a fairly normal day, not too busy, so when a walk-in comes in I’m more than happy to help. The salon requires all pets over four months of age to have updated rabies vaccinations for any and all services; if the rabies vaccines have expired or aren’t in our system yet, we require pet parents to bring proof of rabies paperwork. For legal purposes, a rabies tag isn’t acceptable for documentation.)

Me: “All right, it says here that your dog’s rabies vaccines expired in May of last year. If those vaccinations are up to date now, we’ll need proof of rabies paperwork before we can get him checked in.”

Customer: “Well, they should be all up to date. I didn’t bring paperwork with me. I’ve never been asked for it before.”

(This is clearly not true, since the past vaccine dates are in the system. Nonetheless, I offer to call her vet’s office to get verbal confirmation over the phone. I’m on hold for about fifteen minutes, which is fine, but at the end the vet just confirms that the rabies shots have not been administered since last time and the dogs are overdue by a year. I tell the woman this.)

Customer: *getting visibly angry* “No, they’re not expired! I just have to get them done again! So, what, because those shots aren’t up to date, he just has rabies now? This is bulls***! I’ve never been asked for rabies paperwork before! If you change your policies, you need to tell your customers! You know what? We’ll see about this!”

(She marched out of the salon and into the store. When my salon manager got to work that day, she told me that the woman had bypassed speaking to a store manager and actually called corporate to complain. Nothing came of it; the policy’s always been that way. I was just doing my job.)

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Driving On The Right Side, And The Wrong Side

, , , , | Legal | September 26, 2018

(My husband and I recently drove to Florida from a northern state. We decide to do some shopping and navigate our way to a mall near where we’re staying. We’re looking for an open spot to park, and turn down a one-way lane with parking on both sides. A Volkswagen in front of us stops, so we do, as well, kind of off to the right of the lane. After a moment, the Volkswagen shifts into reverse and starts driving backwards towards us; they are going slowly, thankfully, but their back passenger corner hits our front driver corner. We eventually decide the damage is minimal — on a car that runs fine, but the body has a few dings already — and we’re not going to make them fix anything, but not before this conversation happens:)

Volkswagen: “Where did you come from?”

Me: “We’ve been stopped behind you since before you started backing up.”

Volkswagen: “Well, why are you on this side of the road? You should have been in the other lane.”

Husband: “It’s a one-way.”

Volkswagen: “Where do people drive on that side?” *gesturing again to the right side*

Me: “Literally everywhere except England.”

(I think she thought since we were from out of state she could pull the “that’s how we do it here,” but I’m still floored that I was asked why we were driving on the right side of the road.)

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Unfiltered Story #122127

, , | Unfiltered | September 26, 2018

(Note: the mall kiosk I was in was located next to some vending machines. This led to many requests for change, which I wasn’t allowed to give)

Customer: (As I’m restocking inventory) Hi, I need ones for the machine. Can you break my 5?
Me: Oh, I’m sorry, but I can’t. Store policy says I can’t open the register unless I’m doing a sale. The food court is just around that corner though.
(He walks off, so I return to what I was doing, thinking that’s the end of it. Suddenly he’s in front if my face again.)
Customer: You CAN’T or you WON’T?! There’s a difference!
(He storms off before I can reply. He must have gotten change from somewhere, because a few minutes later he walks by again)
Customer: You’re too young to be such a b****!
(Storms over to the machines while I crack up laughing. Too bad he didn’t listen to me before. He could have gotten his soda a lot cheaper in the food court!)

Shockingly Desperate To Get Internet

, , , , , | Right | September 25, 2018

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] tier three tech support. My name is [My Name]. How can I assist you today?”

Customer: “Hello, I think with the series of bad storms we had here, my Internet and TV got knocked out.”

Me: “Oh, yes, you must be in the Tampa area. I saw on the news about the series of storms that came through. I will be glad to help, and I apologize for the inconvenience.”

Customer: “To let you know, I did reset the modem and cable boxes once the power came back on.”

Me: “Good job, and thanks for letting me know this so I don’t have to ask you to do that again. Now, can you confirm your address to make sure I got the right one?”

(The customer confirms their address.)

Me: “Can you let me know what lights you are seeing on the Internet modem? We can get to the cable boxes in a moment.”

Customer: “I see the power light on, I see the uplink and download lights blinking… I also see my Wi-Fi lights 2.4 and 5 ghz on, but not blinking.”

Me: “What about the online light?”

Customer: “It’s off; even when I try to unplug and replug the modem it doesn’t even attempt to light up.”

(I look in his area and notice his house is the only one highlighted as offline. My tool allows me to run trace routes to figure out where the signal drops. It drops right at his house’s tap, which is located on a telephone pole.)

Me: “Sir, not to switch gears here, but can you also look at your cable boxes and let me know if you see either an online, linked, or globe symbol light on?”

(The customer checks and tells me no.)

Me: “Well, sir, you’ve been a great help, but I am afraid those storms did a number on your service. While I think the individual equipment is fine, I do notice signal drops right at your outside node.”

Customer: “You mean the little green box on the telephone pole?”

Me: “I am afraid so.”

Customer: “Oh… I thought you ran everything underground.”

Me: “Not all the time. It depends on city and area if we can run wires under or not. In this case, you are connected through a cable on the telephone pole.”

(The customer gets quiet, but I can hear him moving around like he is putting on something.)

Customer: “Well, I guess someone has to go up there?”

Me: “Yes, sir, let me schedule someone to come out.”

(Right as I say that, I hear a door open and wind picking up, making it harder to hear the customer.)

Me: “Sir? You still with me?”

Customer: “Yes, I am. How soon can you get someone out?”

Me: “Well, due to the storms, my soonest available would be two days from now, in the afternoon.”

Customer: “You mean I am going without my TV and Internet for two whole days? That’s unacceptable.”

Me: “I am sorry for that, and as much as I wish I could turn on those services, due to the storm I can’t even remote in to take a look.”

Customer: “Well, I demand a credit. And honestly, I’ve been a customer for years; why can’t you send someone out now?”

(We rarely send field technicians out the same day, plus his area is backed up due to the storms.)

Me: “Sir, I will be happy to give you a credit for the days you don’t have service, but I cannot send someone out until Thursday afternoon between two and four.”

(It is Tuesday at six pm.)

Customer: “Well, why can’t you send someone out now? Aren’t I a good customer?”

Me: “Yes, you are, but I need you to understand that we already scheduled techs to go out tonight to help fix other people issues who reported them sooner than you did.”

Customer: “Don’t give me that crap. I saw a tech on the next street over; why can’t you call him and tell him to swing by?”

Me: “That is because he has another job that he is already scheduled for—”

Customer: “Not more important than me. Call him; I don’t mind waiting.”

Me: “I am afraid I cannot do that.”

Customer: *sighs*

Me: “Sir, do you want me to schedule someone? I promise you they will be out there. In fact, I don’t mind calling you back to ensure it has been fixed.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you are going to make me wait. Tell you what. Since you are tier-three, walk me through how to fix the wire on the telephone pole. I may not have all the tools, but I am sure I can figure it out.”

(I hear the customer grunting as if he is climbing something.)

Me: “Um, sir, I admire your willingness to get your issue fixed, but—”


Me: “Sir, do you realize how dangerous it is to be climbing a telephone pole. Especially during a storm?!”


Me: “Sir—”

(I hear the customer slip while on the phone, then make a joke about it, and then climb back down.)

Me: “Sir, are you okay?”

Customer: “I just took a look at the box. I was an electrician at one point, you know; I can easily figure this out.”

Me: “Sir, if you go up that telephone pole and do something wrong, you can not only make the situation worse by messing with the wrong wires, but you can seriously get hurt. Please let the field techs do this.”

(I hear the customer rustling with some tools. Moments later, his wife screams at him for climbing the telephone pole without a harness.)

Me: “Sir, are… you back up there?”

Customer: “Yes, I need my TV and Internet. What don’t you understand about that? Are you dumb or something? I pay for a service; I demand it work!”

Me: “You have every right to want your services to work, but I will schedule someone to come out there on Thursday. I cannot, however, tell you to climb up a pole to fix the tap outside. That is dangerous, especially with it raining. You can seriously injure–“

(The customer interrupts:)

Customer: “You must be one of those ‘politically correct’ millennials. Tell you what. Since you are useless, send the guy out so I can tell him how useless you are, and I will fix this my d*** self.” *hangs up*

(I scheduled the tech. When I got home that night, I heard about a man who electrocuted himself in Tampa on the news. I begin to panic, knowing that it could be the same guy. Lucky for me, it was someone else and not the customer.)

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