Unfiltered Story #204369

, , , , | Unfiltered | August 9, 2020

I work at a popular theme park, inside of a restraint. Our restaurant is Hollywood movie themed and happens to be lined by palm trees. These palm trees have grates over the roots, with around 4 feet of root beneath and a water system. Kids find the grate system fascinating and are always trying to drop things down them.

Well, one day I was cleaning the dining room when I heard, “Help! Help! She fell!” I ran over there with my manager and it turns out that a 600 pound woman had someone moved the metal grates (we’re not sure how) and fallen in the hole with the palm tree.

We ended up closing off the main dining room area and calling security, maintenance, the building owner an ambulance, and the Vice President of the park to come fish her out of the hole in the dining room floor. Last I saw of it before I went on break, the woman had her ankle wrapped and was being carted off by the ambulance.

Also, I came back to work the following day and the managers had solved the grate problem by laying a rug over the open hole and ropes to cordon off the palm tree area.

Truly a sight to see.

She Likes Her Food Smoked

, , , , | Right | August 6, 2020

A lady comes through my line with an order containing food and some hair products, as well as a pack of cigarettes. She pays with her food stamps card, only to look at the remaining total in confusion.

Customer: “What is this $24.83?”

Me: “You got hair products and cigarettes, as well.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought this would cover that.”

Me: *Incredulously* “On food stamps?”

Customer: “Well, just void it off.”

I removed the hair products and cigarettes from the order and she was on her way. I can’t believe she thought her food stamps card would pay for her cigarettes!

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Unfiltered Story #203908

, , | Unfiltered | August 5, 2020

(I am selling a few video games online. One of them is a very popular free roam game which I had already sold.)

Customer: I am interested in these items.
Me: Okay, which game are you interested in? I no longer have [very popular free roam game]
Customer: I want [very popular free roam game]
Me: …

Not If The American Cheese Has Anything To Say

, , , , , , | Working | August 4, 2020

Coworker: “Every day, I worry that the German bologna will invade the Polish ham.”

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You Still Wood Not Understand

, , , , , | Related | August 3, 2020

I’m the author of this story, among other submitted shenanigans between my father and me, just to give some context to our relationship. I’ve recently purchased a house; my father and I are in the great room working on remodeling while my roommate is in the back bedroom painting.

Dad and I are passionately discussing various topics and, since we are not in public, the volume controls are off. We’re not yelling at each other, but we are definitely yelling to each other, despite standing side-by-side. I hear my roommate enter and, when he doesn’t move or speak for a few moments, turn to address him.

Me: “Hey, what’s up? Need help?”

Roommate: “No. It sounded like you two were fighting, so I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. I can’t tell whether you guys are ever actually angry at each other or not.”

Me: “Nope! No fighting! I appreciate your concern, though.”

Roommate: “Well, that’s good.”

Matter resolved, I turn back to what I was doing, and my dad and I immediately pick back up as if there had been no pause. However, I realize after a minute that my roommate is still standing there, so I turn again.

Me: “Everything okay? We can quiet down a bit if we’re being too distracting?”

Roommate: “Oh, no! Now that I know you’re not arguing, I was just enjoying the entertainment. I’ll get back to it, then!”

Dad: *Laughing* “We’re way cheaper than television!”

You Wood Not Understand

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