Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead With This Customer

, , , , | Right | August 9, 2018

(I work as a customer service manager at a store. A clearly drunk guy barges into the store right before closing. He tries to buy alcohol.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t sell you that right now.”

Customer: *loudly* “I WILL HAVE YOU ALL DEAD!”

(I then called security to get him out. This happened six years ago and I am not dead yet.)

The Hour Turned Sour

, , , , , | Right | August 5, 2018

(I am working as a cashier. Since we’re in a busy tourist area, mornings are slammed, and often when people complain we just apologize and send them on their way. However, I notice something fishy on this day. A customer walks up to register to pay. He is part of a group of college kids who seem to be here for spring break.)

Me: “Hi there. How was everything this morning?”

Customer: “Uh, yeah, the food was okay but we had to wait an hour for it, and it was cold when it got to us.”

Me: “Oh, no, I’m so sorry that happened.”

(I take a look at the time-stamped ticket he handed me, which is printed when the order is put in. The time on the ticket and the current time are only forty minutes apart. If he truly had waited an hour for his food, he would still be eating it.)

Me: “Here, let me get my manager; just one moment.”

(I go to get the manager, show her the ticket, and tell her the complaint. She goes to talk to the customer.)

Manager: “Hello. What is the problem here?”

Customer: “Yes, I told the other one that we waited an hour for our food and it was cold. We’re not paying for that.” *gestures to his group*

Manager: “Well, I’m sorry, but neither of those things happened, as it still hasn’t even been an hour since the food was put in; it says it right here on your ticket. And, as I can see from the empty plates on your table, you all ate your meals just fine, so now you have to pay for it.”

Customer: “What the h***? I’m the g**d*** customer! What kind of s***ty service is this?!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is a family restaurant and we do not allow that language here. I’m going to have to ask all of your party to pay and leave, or else I can call the cops down here. We’ll see what they have to say about the situation.”

Customer’s Friend: “Just pay for the food, dude! It’s your fault that you went next door to go buy s*** when we were eating; don’t get us in trouble.”

(The guy reluctantly paid for his meal, as did his friends, and then they finally left. Thankfully they didn’t come back that week.)

Attack Of The Flying Buns

, , , , | Right | August 5, 2018

(I just clocked in, and am being a good team player by taking food to a table that I am not serving.)

Me: “Hi there, folks! I have your food here: mac-n-cheese for the little guy, a double with cheese, double with cheese no pickle, chili bowl, and a double no cheese. Is that everything? Do you all need any condiments or refills?”

(As I am standing and waiting to see if they need anything, something comes flying at me and lands on my empty tray. I realize that it is a bun. One of the ladies is throwing the bun, lettuce, tomato, and pickle onto my tray, leaving only the patties on her plate. She seems upset.)

Me: “Is there anything I can get you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I told them not to put any d*** sauce on my burger!”

Me: “Oh, um, well, I’m sorry about that. I can have the kitchen remake it for you; it will only take a cou—”

Customer: “No! I’m hungry now! If you put the order in right the first time, it wouldn’t have happened.”

(She says this even though I look nothing like their actual server.)

Me: “Is there a different meal I ca—”

Customer: “NO!”

Me: “Okay, your server will be with you in a moment.”

(I go and show my manager the mess on my tray and uniform and tell her about the complaint. She tries to talk to the lady, too, and ends up giving her a free dessert. Thankfully it isn’t her, but her son who paid, and he seems to be upset with her, as well. Before she leaves, she comes up to the server-only area to talk to the manager.)

Customer: “I just want to say that you have such wonderful employees who are just so accommodating!”

(After she leaves the manager laughs.)

Manager: “Yeah, accommodating! Come eat here and you get to throw food at the employees.”

(She gave me a free dinner after my shift that night.)

Burrito No-No, Part 4

, , , | Right | August 3, 2018

(I work in mall food court. Two girls around ten years old come up to order food without a parent.)

Girl #1: “I’ll have, um… rice, chicken…”

Me: “What kind of item would you like? A burrito, taco?”

Girl #1: “Burrito. A small one.”

(We technically have three sizes of burritos: the regular size, the junior size, and the kid’s meal burrito. Since the kid’s burrito is about the right size to feed a four-year-old, and she’s pointing at the regular section of the menu, I make her a junior burrito.)

Girl #2: “I’ll have the same thing.”

(About half an hour later, once they girls have had enough time to eat their food, the girls’ mom comes storming up.)

Mom: *to my coworker at the cash register* “You gave my girls the wrong food! They ordered [kid’s meal cheese quesadilla]!”

(The kid’s cheese quesadilla is the cheapest thing on the menu, and doesn’t include meat. The girls clearly asked for chicken.)

Coworker: “I don’t remember seeing any quesadillas come down the line…” *asks for manager*

Mom: “You charged them for junior burritos! They ordered kid’s burritos!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I can give you a refund for the junior burritos, but I will have to charge your card for the kid’s burritos.”

Mom: “Whatever. Just do it.”

Manager: “Sorry for the misunderstanding.”

Mom: “There was no misunderstanding!”

(My manager refunds the two burritos and two regular-sized drinks, then charges the mom for the kid’s burrito — which includes kid’s-sized drinks.)

Mom: “I need a refill on this drink!”

(She hands the manager the regular-sized drink that she just got a refund on. The manager refills the drink.)

Mom: “No! I wanted more ice! Dump it out and try again!”

Burrito No-No, Part 3
Burrito No-No, Part 2
Burrito No-No, Part 1

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Does Not Have A Licence To Kill Licenses

, , , | Legal | August 2, 2018

(I am buying cigarettes and the worker asks for ID. I’m short for my age so I’m used to people having to check.)

Clerk: “Sorry, but your ID is fake.”

Me: “What? What do you mean?”

Clerk: “This is a fake ID. It’s pink.”

(The thing is, not only is it a legitimate ID, but I have just come straight from the courthouse from renewing it. For some reason the new driver’s licenses are now pink with “FL” across them. I try to reason with him.)

Me: “No, that’s brand new. Look, I even have the receipt for it.” *shows paper*

(The clerk looks at it and laughs.)

Clerk: “Nice try, but it’s too shiny. See? No scratches.”

Me: “I just told you it’s brand new. That’s the license now. I don’t write the laws. The new license has a pink banner.”

(Ignoring me, the little s*** cuts my license up! I pay for gas, ignore his asinine smile, and head back to the courthouse. But guess who gets pulled over on the way there?)

Cop: “License and registration?”

Me: “Well, Officer. How about a receipt for a license? And while we’re at it, can you come with me to that gas station?”

(I thought the gas station rep was going to pee his pants when he saw the trooper come with me to the window!)

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