Unfiltered Story #123510

, , | Unfiltered | October 15, 2018

Customer: Hi I’m trying to place an order online, but it’s asking me for the expiration date for my card and I don’t have that.

Me: Okay..?

Customer: So can you place the order for me?

Me: I’m sorry, I can’t submit an order without the expiration date.

Customer: Not even if I give you the last four of my social? Can you look it up?

Me: No I’m sorry, I don’t have access to your credit card information.

Customer: (very sarcastic) I guess I’ll just use a different credit card then!!

Me: Okay!

5 minutes later customers calls back:

Customer: I’m such a dummy! I ordered the wrong size!

You’re A Bad (Turkey) Egg

, , , , , | Right | October 14, 2018

Customer: “I want a pound of turkey.”

Me: “Which kind would you like?”

Customer: “I don’t know; you pick. Which one do you like?”

Me: “Well, personally, I don’t like any of them. But then again, I don’t like turkey.”

Customer: “Oh, so you’re saying I’m a bad person because I do like it?!”

Me: “Well, I wasn’t saying that. But now I am.”

Unfiltered Story #123454

, , | Unfiltered | October 13, 2018

a customer and her husband come in to our store, furious that we had made a mistake on their bill payment.
**wife: you gave us the wrong receipt!  You paid the wrong bill! Look what it says on the receipt! MasterCard! We don’t even have a MasterCard at all!
**me: (remembering when the customer’s husband had come in two days before) I know that I took the information off whatever your husband gave us, let me check our paperwork.  Did you say I took the account number off an old receipt?
**wife: yes.  You took it off the receipt.  Here is the receipt.  It is wrong!
I pull out the paperwork for the day in question, and find the bill stub that the husband had provided, only to find out that I had done the transaction correctly, and processed a payment for a **MasterCard** account.
**me: Here, Ma’am, here’s the bill stub your husband provided. It matches the account number on your receipt.  The name is different (it was a typo) but it was processed for the correct account so your bill will be credited correctly.
**wife: but the name is different!
**me: Yes, but I assure you, as long as the account number is correct, which it is, everything is fine.
**wife: What a relief! You paid our MasterCard account!  At least I can relax now that our MasterCard is paid!
**me: ……….. Have a nice day!
(Yes, have a nice day with the MasterCard you said you didn’t even own…..)

The Quarter Of The Nation That Voted

, , , , , | Right | October 12, 2018

Coworker #1: “…and that wasn’t even the stupidest thing Trump said this week! How did we end up with this guy?”

Customer: “I’ll do three-fourths of Virginia ham. No, wait, make it three-quarters.”

Coworker #2: “Which is it; three-fourths or three-quarters?”

Customer: “Hm… Which one is bigger?”

Coworker #2: “Huh. I don’t really know.”

Me: *to [Coworker #1]* “That’s how.”

Unfiltered Story #123435

, , | Unfiltered | October 12, 2018

At this particular tea shop we are required to suggest samples to the passerbys. I’m standing at the cart handing out samples when a Highschool-aged boy comes over.
“Is that tea as sweet as you are?”
Ignoring the horrible pickup line, I explain the sweetness level of the tea. He leaves. He comes back nearly an hour later.
Him: “Is that tea as sweet as you are?”
Me: “You already said that.”
Him: “Well I meant that tea. *points to one of the two samples* what about this one? *points to the other”
Me: “Uhhhh”
Him: (trying to save the lack of game he has) “Your eyes are really pretty”
Me: “Thanks… I appreciate that.”
Him: “So if I try this tea, do I get your number”
Me: “No… No you don’t.”
At this point, his friend realizes I’m annoyed/uncomfortable and says “Come on, man” and pulls him away.

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