(This takes place the day after Hurricane Irma rolls through. Power has gone out throughout most of the town and recovery efforts are beginning to slowly bring the town back online. My fiancé, his mother, and I are driving through town, looking at the devastation, and looking to see if anywhere has power yet. At one point, we pass a [Fast Food Restaurant] with cars in the drive-through and in the parking lot, so we decide to get some fried chicken. As we pull into line, we can see all the lights on inside. While we’re waiting for the person ahead to finish their order, a woman in a large truck drives past the line.)

Truck Customer: “Hey, there’s no one in there; they’re closed!”

Customer In Line: “No way! I’ve been talking with an employee!”

(The truck driver leaves, and we wait a few more minutes before the woman ahead drives to the next window, and we pull up. There is a sign on the speaker saying they are closed until tomorrow due to Irma, but a voice comes on the box.)

Voice: “Welcome to [Fast Food Restaurant]! Go ahead with your order when you’re ready!”

(We placed our order, and waited a few minutes for them to respond. We spent a good five minutes waiting and trying to get the employee’s attention. Eventually, we got fed up and pulled to the next window to complain. Upon reaching the window, we saw that the restaurant was, in fact, empty and the kitchen lights were all off. The restaurant apparently had an automatic greeter that someone failed to turn off, as well as the main lights in the building. We drove off, laughing at ourselves for being accidentally pranked, the humor made even better when we saw that the line formed behind us was stretching onto the highway!)

(My little sister is sick and I’ve been asked to watch her. Her medicine has the effect of making the user a bit high. I put on one of her favorite shows and start texting my friends. Suddenly I hear the shatter of glass.)

Sister: “BEGONE YE WINDOW!”

(She had jumped through or glass door. She has a huge piece of glass stuck in her arm.)

Me: “Oh, my God! Stay still! Why the heck did you do that?!”

(She remains quiet as I pull out the glass shard and bandage her arm. She smiles brightly when I’m done.)

Sister: “Well, you know us werewolves. We can’t stand glass.”

Me: “…I think you need to lay down and stop watching YouTube for a while.”

(My partner is watching TV and starts laughing. They keep laughing for a good few minutes.)

Me: “Something funny?”

(They keep laughing, and then they fall off the couch. I wait for another minute. I’m vaguely worried they’re hysterical at this point.)

Me: “You okay?”

Partner: *finally catching their breath, quoting a commercial* “’Our legal team believes that, with the safety equipment available to car manufacturers, no one should ever get injured or killed in a car accident.’” *laughs* “’So, call us and we’ll sue ’em!’” *laughs*

Me: “Okay, then… I guess they’ve never heard of cliffs!”

(I work at a toy store that sells three-foot-tall Batman figures. I am reorganizing the aisles and as I finish with one, I move on to the next. There is a little girl, probably two years old, standing there holding one of the aforementioned Batman figures — which is barely bigger than she is — in a hug. She notices me coming around the corner and says this:)

Little Girl: “This is my baby!”

Me: “Batman’s your baby?”

Little Girl: “Yes!”

(Easily one of the cutest moments I’ve ever seen in that store.)

(I am the manager of a store in a neighborhood that is heavily populated with Cuban-American people. This exchange happens between a customer and my employee, Fernando.)

Customer: *speaks Spanish*

Fernando: “I’m sorry, sir; I don’t speak Spanish.”

Customer: *yelling in English* “You need to learn your roots and speak the mother-tongue of our people!”

Fernando: *pointing to his name badge* “Fernando… Italiano!”

Customer: *quietly walks out the door*