This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6

, , , , , | Right | December 7, 2010

Customer: “Wait, that’s only supposed to be twenty dollars cheaper.”

Me: “Yes, sir, that’s after the mail-in rebate. You have to send in the paperwork and proof of purchase.”

Customer: “Well, why don’t you give me the discount now and send in the rebate yourself?”

Me: “No, that’s not how this works. You are responsible for sending in the rebate yourself.”

Customer: “You mean you’re making me responsible for my own money?”


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Dog Gone Crazy

, , , , , | Right | November 25, 2010

(A customer who doesn’t seem to speak much English walks up to me.)

Customer: “Where is chili?”

Me: “Are you looking for chili mix or pre-made chili?”

Customer: “Is chili in can?”

(I tell him where to find the canned chili. A few minutes later, he comes up to me again.)

Customer: “Sorry, I no find it. Help, please?”

Me: “Do you know what brand it was?”

Customer: “It has picture of dog.”

Me: “A dog logo? I can’t think of a brand that makes chili and has a dog logo.”

Customer: “Is called… ah… What is it… um… [Dog Food Brand]! Yes, that’s it! [Dog Food Brand] is name! The one with the dog!”

Me: “Sir… [Dog Food Brand] is a brand of dog food.”

Customer: “Yes! Yes! Is chili with dog picture! Where is it? My family love it!”

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Tron’s Legacy

, , , , , | Right | November 19, 2010

(I work at a certain attraction where you run, jump and dance at the video capture station, then that video is put into a video game and the avatar is yourself. A little girl approaches.)

Me: “Hello, sweetheart, have you played before?”

Girl: “No.”

Me: “Well, basically you run jump and dance in here. Then, our computers put you into the video game!”

Girl: “But… how do we get out of the video game?”

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Not Much Between The Temples

, , , , , | Right | November 19, 2010

Customer: “I need to speak to the person in charge!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m the only one in the office right now. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “There are no Jesus memorabilia in your display cases!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is a temple. Maybe you’re looking for the church across the street?”

Customer: “I know this is a temple, you dumb b****! All temples need Jesus in them. Otherwise, how is this a house of worship?”

Me: “I’m going to have to ask you to calm down; there’s a preschool class next door. And Jews don’t believe in Jesus as being a–”

Customer: *yelling* “What?! What the f*** do you mean you don’t believe in Jesus, our Lord? How long has this been going on?!”

Me: “I’d say a good thousand years prior to Jesus, ma’am.”

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Love Thy Culturally Homogenous Neighbor

, , , , , , | Right | November 11, 2010

Me: “I hope you’ve found everything to your liking!”

Customer: “Oh, thank you, I have! It’s so nice to meet a polite Christian girl nowadays! You know, it’s always best to love thy neighbor.”

Me: “Oh, actually, I’m not Christian. But yes, I agree.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, as long as you love Jesus, our savior!”

Me: “Actually, I’m Muslim and Jewish.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Well, my mother is Jewish and my father is Muslim.”

Customer: “Oh. When I said ‘love thy neighbor,’ I didn’t mean you!”

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