Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Because Men And Women Can’t Just Be Friends

, , , , | Romantic | July 1, 2019

(A large group of us goes bowling one night after church. There are some new people in our group, including one particular guy who has decided to follow me around all night, attempting to enter every conversation I’m in. I’ve been able to avoid being alone with him so far, but when one friend gets up to take her turn, he slides into her seat.)

New Guy: “So, you’re [My Name], right?”

Me: “That’s me.”

New Guy: “I’ve been wanting to talk to you, but you’re pretty popular around here.”

Me: “And your name is…?”

New Guy: “Oh, sorry. I’m [New Guy]. It’s my first time. Do you guys always do big group stuff like this?”

Me: “Oh, yeah. It’s more fun that way.”

New Guy: *scoots closer* “So, are you single? Because I’d love to get to know you better…”

Me: “Um…”

(In one of those rare and perfectly-timed moments, one of my guy friends hops over the bench we’re sitting on and plants himself between me and the new guy.)

Guy Friend: “[My Name], what’s up? I feel like I haven’t talked to you all night. How’s life? How’s your bowling score?”

Me: “You know very well that you’re going to kick my butt, as always!”

Guy Friend: “Let it be known that you said it, I didn’t.” *turns to the new guy* “How’s it going, bro? Don’t think we’ve met. I’m [Guy Friend].”

New Guy: “Oh, fine. I get it.” *gets up and walks away*

Me: “Has anyone ever told you that you have insanely good timing?”

Guy Friend: *laughs* “You had that deer-in-the-headlights look.”

1 Thumbs
779

Good-Looking People Get Whistled At

, , , , , | Working | June 19, 2019

(I am entering the train station to take a train home after a long day of work. As I step onto the platform, I see the train is already there and about to depart. I start running, but the train whistle sounds and all the doors but one close. I sprint towards the open door and manage to get onto the train. Inside I find two female conductors: a young woman and a middle-aged woman.)

Older Conductor: *to the younger* “If you keep doing this, no one will learn the rule that they shouldn’t try to get onto a train after the whistle has sounded.”

Younger Conductor: “Yes, I know, but I just couldn’t bear to close the door in his handsome face.”

Older Conductor: *looking me up and down* “Yeah, I can understand that.”

Me: *turns a bright shade of red and shuffles off to find a seat*

1 Thumbs
680

“D***, Jackie, I Can’t Control The Weather!”

, , , , , | Romantic | June 15, 2019

(When my parents are dating, my dad is very shy about trying to “make a move,” so my mom tries to hurry things along. She convinces him to go outside and look at the full moon on a cold night.)

Mom: “My hands are cold.” *moves closer to my dad*

Dad: “Why don’t you put your hands in your pocket?”

(They eventually got it together and have been married for 46 years. So, when I started dating a guy I really liked, one of our early dates was to a football game that was really cold. He had also been shy about “making a move,” so I tried moving closer and saying that I was cold. He got up and went to the concession stand for hot chocolate. We’ve been married for three years.)

1 Thumbs
613

Should Have Seen That Date Coming

, , , | Romantic | April 24, 2019

(My roommates convince me to go to my first college party with them. Inevitably, I meet a guy. While we’re making out on the couch:)

Guy: “What’s your major?”

Me: “Psychology.”

Guy: “Woah, you’re psychic?! Are you gonna read my mind?”

(I haven’t been to another party since.)

1 Thumbs
305

Women Are From Venus…

, , , , , | Romantic | April 9, 2019

(When I teach, I like to use interesting and practical examples whenever I can to keep the students engaged. We’re doing an essay on problem-solving, so I decide to show “The Martian” in class to study the character’s problem-solving skills. [Student #2] has been subtly flirting with [Student #1] all semester to no avail.)

Me: “All right, guys, make sure you’re taking notes about what problems you see and what the character does to solve them.”

Student #1: “I can’t wait! I loved the book so much!”

Student #2: *[trying to impress [Student #1]* “Uh, yeah! I did, too!”

Student #1: “Really? I didn’t think you liked to read.”

Student #2: *fake scoff* “I said I don’t like fiction, but this is based off of a true story.”

Me: “…”

(Needless to say, that romance went nowhere.)

1 Thumbs
374