Unfiltered Story #109655

, , | Unfiltered | May 1, 2018

(I’m downstate visiting my sister, and browsing the frozen foods in a nearby grocery store for dinner. I happen to be dressed a bit more formally than usual, so I’m not surprised when a customer mistakes me for a worker.)

Customer: “Hey, do you work here?”

Me: “No, but I’ll see if I can help you anyway. What’re you looking for?”

Customer: “It’s a kind of ice cream. Neapolitan, I think?”

(I take him to the ice cream. The store brand happens to be $2 for $5. I can’t find any neapolitan at first, but I watch as he grabs a butter pecan and starts to leave. Just as he turns around, I finally find the neapolitan and show it to him.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s not what I thought it was. It’s a kind with nuts in it. My mom used to buy it all the time.”

Me: (thinking) “Praline?”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s it!”

Me: “Do you still want that butter pecan? These are $2 for $5.”

(He grabs a praline and adds it to his butter pecan.)

Customer: “You should work here, sir!”

Me: “Unfortunately, I live 3 hours away, so that’d be quite the commute!”

Someone Is Telling (And Eating) Porkies

, , , , , | Right | February 22, 2018

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need a large pizza with no pork; I’m allergic to pork.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. What toppings would you like?”

Customer: “Pepperoni, bacon, ham, and sausage.”

Me: “You do understand that every thing you ordered is pork, correct?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m just allergic to a lot of pork.”

(Thirty minutes after the customer picks up their pizza, I get a call from the same person.)

Customer: “I asked for no pork on my pizza, and it’s all over it, and I’m allergic!”

Me: “Okay, then, no problem. I’d be happy to give you your money back, as long as you have that whole pizza.”

Customer: “It’s gone. I ate it all already; I was hungry. I need another pizza for free, or my money back!”

Me: “Nope.”

(I hung up. I am the manager there. I’m not an idiot when people try to get free food. They never ordered from us again.)

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