This Transaction Is Not All Peaches And Cream

| GA, USA | Working | April 5, 2017

(I am a Caucasian female but am fluent in Punjabi because I grew up in a heavily Indian neighbourhood. I am at a flea market and am looking at some fruit at a cart run by an Indian man.)

Indian Man: *to daughter in Punjabi* “Watch this. I bet I can get this girl to pay $10 for that peach.”

(I try and act like I am not listening to their conversation and inspect the peaches.)

Indian Man: *to me, in English* “Ah, looking at these locally grown peaches, huh? They’re not like the outsourced peaches you would find in grocery stores. These are organic and don’t use child labour like [Popular Fruit Company]. I can sell five to you for $10.”

Me: *in Punjabi* “Thank you, but I think I’ll pass. I don’t buy from people who try to scam me based on how I look.”

What A Crappy Deal

| Germany | Right | July 9, 2016

(I sell stuff at flea markets. A group of women, some with children in tow come up to me.)

Woman #1: “I’ll give you 5€ for that.”

Me: “No, the lowest I’d go is 15€.”

Woman #1: “But I don’t want to spend more than 5€.”

Me: “Then we won’t have a deal. Maybe you’ll find something similar at another stall for that price.”

(The group moves on and everything seems okay. Sometime later the group passes my stall again.)

Woman #2: “Excuse me, do you maybe have a spare table somewhere? I really need to change my baby and there is no changing room anywhere.”

Me: “I don’t have a table, but I could offer you the bed of my van. It is empty and reasonably clean.”

Woman #2: “Thank you. Don’t worry, I have a changing mat.”

(I opened the van and went back to my stall to give her some privacy. After a little while the woman finished, thanked me, and the group left. When my father went to close the van there was a giant turd on the loading platform, much too big to be the contents of a diaper. Apparently that woman had taken a dump in my van because I didn’t sell something to her friend for the price she wanted.)

H2-Slow To Realise

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Right | October 14, 2015

(I work at a sno-cone stand for my uncle, and as it is usually very hot, my stand almost always has a line. Customer #1 is sitting at a picnic table off to the side, not in line.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, can I get a water?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, in just a moment, after I help this girl with her cone.”

Customer #1: “I don’t care! I’m thirsty and it’s hot. Do you want me to become dehydrated and die?!”

Me: *getting sick of people not waiting in line and expecting service* “Frankly, sir, I don’t care. There is a line, that you can see is quite long, and you are currently at the end of it.”

Customer #1: “WOW! I should tell your boss about how terrible your service is. You’re being a b***!”

Customer #2: *a regular* “Go ahead, dude. It doesn’t matter; that’s her uncle.”

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Time To Trade In One Slightly Used Mom

| | Right | May 25, 2009

Customer: “Is this flea market going well for you?”

Me: “Decently… considering how many other tables here, I’m glad for the business we’ve gotten.”

Customer: “You can sell just about anything here, right?”

Me: “Mmhmm.”

Customer: “If I give you twenty bucks, will you please sell my children?”

Me: “Well…um. I’m sorry, but no.”

Customer: “Please?”

Me: “I’m sorry. Selling your children would be slavery.”

Customer: “Okay. So, can I buy this?” *holds up a cheap ring*

Me: “Sure. That’ll be–”

Customer: “I’ll give you my daughter for it!”

Me: “No. You know what? If I give you the ring, will you go away?”

Customer: *goes away with her children and the cheap ring*

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More Than He Bargained For

, | | Right | April 27, 2009

(My father is manning tables at the local flea market. A man comes up to the table and picks out an item that’s priced at $8.)

Customer: “Will you take $6 for this?”

Dad: “Sure.”

(The man finds another item, this one priced at $5.)

Customer: “Will you take $4?”

Dad: “Sure.”

(After a while, the man finds another item, this time priced at $6.)

Customer: “$5?”

Dad: “Sure.”

(Finally, the man gathers all of his items together and winds up for the ultimate bargaining ploy.)

Customer: “How about $20 for all three?”

Dad: “Sure.”

(Dad was always an agreeable sort.)

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