You Are Commonly Uncommon

, , , , | Learning | October 12, 2018

I took a first aid course with a friend. We had completed most of the course when the tutor announced she was going to show us some photographs of “uncommon” injuries to see how we would treat them. She stressed we would be unlikely to encounter them but wanted to see how we would apply our new knowledge.

First photo: we suggested treatment, discussed it a bit, all okay.

Second photo: exactly the injury my mum had a couple of years ago.

Third photo: the same injury my friend’s son had last year.

Fourth photo (according to the tutor, a very rare one): something my husband did a few years back.

I think we slightly screwed up the tutor’s lesson plan.

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The Breast Way To Revive Someone

, , | Healthy | March 16, 2018

(I am taking a first aid training course as part of a job requirement. Every student in the class is male, and the only female is the instructor.)

Instructor: “Now we’re going to go over Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation, or CPR. Let’s go grab our test dummies.”

(The test dummies used for CPR practice are realistic replicas of a woman’s head and torso. A lot of the students feel uncomfortable with this practice, as it involves undressing the dummy and pushing on its chest.)

Instructor: “Come on! You’re all big boys, now. Put some muscle into it! This is literally the only time it’s legal for you to grab an unconscious woman’s boobs!”

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Might Want To Be Sitting Down For This One

| Learning | June 30, 2016

(This takes place in a Wilderness First Aid class. We are learning how to move people with spinal injuries. This is something a lot of us are kind of mind-blown by, as in urban first aid classes, which is most of our experiences, you don’t move people with spinal injuries, whereas you do in wilderness first aid.) We start saying, “What if…?” “What if…?” “What if…?” and our instructor is helping us work out plans for each scenario.)

Student: “What if they’re sitting up and unconscious?”

Instructor: “Wait… how are they sitting up if they’re unconscious?”

Student: “They’re leaning against the edge of a boulder in the sitting position. Like this.” *demonstrates with a wall*

Instructor: “AND they’re unconscious?” *he nods, our instructor pauses for a second* “You really are gluttons for punishment aren’t you?”

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A Choking Lesson

| Learning | September 3, 2015

(We are practicing first aid for a choking child with me playing the first aider and another student playing the mother of the infant doll.)

Me: “Your child is choking. May I help her?”

Student: “No. She has to learn.”

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Choking On A Bad Joke

| Learning | August 2, 2015

(I’m on a First Aid refresher course. It’s a light-hearted session and we’re all pretty comfortable joking around.)

First Aider: “What’s the first thing you do if a child is choking?”

Me: “Remove your hands from around their throat.”

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