In A World… Where People Do Not Listen

, , , , , | Working | June 11, 2019

(I work the front desk for a company that makes movie trailers. Sometimes clients will send gifts to my bosses and use mobile delivery services to do so. One day, a delivery boy from a delivery company comes by to drop off a gift.) 

Delivery Boy: “You guys work in entertainment, right? What exactly do you guys do?”

Me: “We make movie trailers.”

Delivery Boy: “What does [Gift Recipient] do?”

Me: “Um. He is a producer.”

Delivery Boy: “Oh, well, I’m an actor, so would it be all right if I leave my information for him?”

Me: “He produces movie trailers. He is not a movie producer.”

Delivery Boy: “I still like to leave my information for people, just in case.” *begins writing down his information*

Me: “But like I said, we make movie trailers; we don’t make movies. The studios send us the film and we cut it into a trailer. We are post-production.”

Delivery Boy: *continues to write down his “acting” information and then tries to flirt with me for five more minutes*

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Accidental Pizza

, , , | Right | April 16, 2019

(I am part of my school’s film club, and we are on the last leg of shooting our first official short film. It’s cold, and we’ve been shooting for fourteen hours so everyone’s exhausted, but we still need these last couple of scenes, so we’re putting up with it. We can’t afford to pay our cast and crew, so we decide to buy pizza for everyone. My friend calls in the order.)

Friend: “Hi. I’d like three large [specialty pizzas] for delivery to [address], please.”

Employee: “You said [address]?”

Friend: “Yes. We’re filming a movie out at the park next to the aquarium.”

Employee: “Okay, got it. Your order will arrive in about forty minutes.”

(More than an hour later, it still hasn’t arrived, so I call the store, thinking the address threw them off.)

Me: “Hey. I just wanted to check on the status of our order.”

Employee: “Oh… Oh, I see. I’m so sorry, but your driver was in a car accident and had to go to the hospital. Would you like me to refund your order, or—“

Me: “Oh, my gosh. Is he okay?”

Employee: “Yeah, he’ll be fine. It was a minor accident. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.”

(I was shocked at how eager he seemed to quell my supposed fury, though having worked in food and bev before I could kind of understand. We just sent one of the crew to pick up a fresh order to appease the ravenous actors. I called the store the next day, and it turned out the delivery person was T-boned by a drunk driver, but thankfully escaped with barely a scratch.)

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O, Canaduh, Part 6

| Right | January 5, 2017

(I’m a locations production assistant. One of my responsibilities includes lock-up, which means preventing pedestrians from walking through the location when we’re filming. A man approaches me.)

Man: “What’s going on here?”

Me: “Hello, sir. We’re filming a movie called [Title].”

Man: “I can see that. I wanted to know about THAT.”

(He points to a bank building across the street.)

Me: “Well, the film is set in the US, and since [Bank] only operates in Canada, we’ve covered up their logo with an American flag.”

Man: “Well, take it down! Makes me feel like we’ve been invaded!”

Me: “We’ll be taking it down as soon as we finish shooting this scene, sir. Shouldn’t be more than another hour or so.”

Man: “Oh, yeah? Well, what if I went over there right now and took it down myself?”

Me: “Personally I wouldn’t be able to stop you, sir, but I would advise you against it.”

Man: “I’ll do it!”

(I know he’s just grandstanding, but I’m sick of this, as I can get in major trouble if he even ruins a take by making too much noise. I turn on my walkie-talkie.)

Me: “[Key Grip]? Can you come give me a hand?”

(As I’m one of the few women on location and a rookie, many of the crew are a little protective of me, particularly our key grip, a muscle-bound Frenchman who’s over two metres tall. He jogs over.)

Key Grip: “What’s the issue?”

Man: *blinks and swallows a few times* “No problem! Bye, now!”

(Unfortunately, I still had two more people complain about the flag later, including a woman who kept insisting that it was illegal to fly an American flag in Canada. One of the many reasons why I quit the film industry!)


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Labelled As A Genius

| Working | April 8, 2015

(I’m in high school and working as a production assistant for an independent film. It’s my first movie, but most of the cast and crew, who are late 20s and older, have done others. We’re on set at a hospital classroom; it looks like a hospital but isn’t filled with any medicine and they don’t treat patients here.)

Director: “All right, everyone! We need to pull the labels off the drawers and cupboards. No real hospital would have everything labeled like that!”

Asst. Director: “Wait! How will we know where they go again?”

Director: “We’ll just take pictures of them! Who’s got a camera?”

(Everyone starts scrambling around trying to find a camera to take pictures of the 50-plus cupboards and drawers that are going to be in the shot.)

Me: “Um… couldn’t we just put the labels inside their corresponding drawers and doors?”

(Everyone pauses and looks at me.)

Director: “…You’re really good at this job.”

(Filming went smoothly. Not a label was seen!)

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