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Someone’s Sleeping On The Tarmac Tonight

, , | Right | August 7, 2009

(Around 12:30 am at the airport, a young woman in her mid-20’s strolls up to me at the check-in counter.)

Me: “How are you this morning?”

Female Customer: “Alright. How early can I check in for a morning flight?”

Me: “Using the kiosk boarding pass printers, you can check in up to five hours early, but you won’t be able to drop off your bag until we open again around 5 am. What flight are you on?”

Female Customer: “My name is [Their Name] and I’m on the 6:30 flight to Winnipeg. My fiance just broke up with me because of an argument that’s his fault. He just up and left, so I thought I’ll come here and see. We are still on the same flight, too.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Well, at least you are on separate reservations. Did you want to go later?”

Female Customer: “No, I just want to get out of here. Is there a bar or anything open around here?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the only thing open is the Tim Hortons, which is one floor below us, and the Mac’s stores on either end of the terminal.”

Female Customer: “Okay. Is there anywhere to sleep?”

Me: “Sure, just head up to the third floor. There are some very comfy chairs, and it’s nice and quiet.”

Female Customer: “Thanks…” *leaves*

(About ten minutes later, one of my coworkers calls a guy in his late 20’s up to her podium. I overhear their conversation…)

Coworker: “Where are you off to?”

Male Customer: “Winnipeg at 6:30 am.”

Coworker: “Okay. You won’t be able to checkin until 5 hours prior, and you won’t be able to drop your bags until we open again around 5 am.”

(I know where this is going, so I walk over to the counter and chime in.)

Me: “Can I ask you a very personal question?”

Male Customer: “Okay?”

Me: “Did you just break up with your fiance?”

Male Customer: *surprised* “How do you know!”

Me: “I just talked to her about ten minutes ago. She is here at the airport.”

Male Customer: “F***! Where is she?”

Me: “I sent her downstairs to the Tim Hortons, and then to the third floor to sleep.”

Male Customer: “Where should I go?”

Me: “If you stay on this floor, you should be okay. Just head down the terminal further by the other airlines. She won’t look for you there.”

Male Customer: “F***! We’re on the same flight too!”

Me: “I know. Good luck!”

Hopefully They Didn’t Fly, Because Someone’s Walking Home

, , , | Right | June 25, 2008

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. How may I help you?”

Hotel Guest: “I was charged for two movies last night that I did not watch.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately I can not adjust these movies off. They were completely viewed from beginning to end–both movies.”

Hotel Guest: “That’s absurd, there’s no way I saw those movies last night. I was asleep. What are the movies that were watched?”

Me: “They’re adult movies, ma’am…”

Hotel Guest: *enraged* “I DID NOT WATCH ANY DIRTY MOVIES!”

Me: “Is there someone else in your room that may have ordered them?”

Hotel Guest: “It’s just me and my boyfriend…”

Me: *tight smile*

Hotel Guest: “Oh. My. God. He ordered p*rn. We’re at a romantic getaway and he orders p*rn! I’m going to kill him!”