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An Act Of Togetherness

| SC, USC | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I work at an arts festival over the summer.)

Me: “[Festival], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking at your website and I’m trying to get tickets.”

Me: “Okay, I can help with that! What event are you looking at?”

(He names an event that I’m certain is part of a sister/fringe festival that runs concurrently, because it’s definitely not one of ours.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. That’s probably a [Fringe] event, not—”

Customer: *immediately and violently explodes* “NO! NO! NO! NO! God-d*** it! You f****** idiot! I’ve already TALKED to them and they said it’s NOT one of theirs and I’m sick and tired of being TREATED this way!” *he continues berating me as I hold the receiver in shock*

Me: *finally regaining composure* “I’m so sorry, sir. Is there anything I can do? I’ve got their booklet here and can try to look it up, so—”

Customer: “I’m SICK of you! You need to get your f****** ACT together!” *click*

(Another employee, having overhead part of the exchange, looks over at me as I woodenly hang up the phone.)

Employee: “Yikes, what was that about?”

Me: “Well, I’m not sure, but I guess I need to get my f****** act together.”

(As it turned out, the event was neither ours nor the fringe festival’s, but a completely unrelated event. I’m sure he felt like he was getting the run-around, but he could have easily checked the local paper to verify. As for getting my act together, at the end of the festival, I was presented with a superlative: “Most likely to have his act together.”)

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I’ll Drink Outside To That!

| CO, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Popular

(I’m at the renaissance festival with my wife and her friend. I have just purchased a cup of ale and the two ladies want to go into a costume shop to see what is for sale. They have a sign, not only on the pillar, but also on a table outside the shop which reads “Please leave your food and beverages here or outside while shopping!” I stop before going in and my wife calls out to me.)

Wife: “Something wrong?”

Me: “Not at all. I’m going to wait outside. They don’t want me coming in with a drink, cuteness.”

(All of a sudden, three women, all in costume come RUNNING out of nowhere from inside the shop and stop in front of me.)

Me: “Uh…”

All Three Ladies: “HUZZAH FOR THE READER! HUZZAH! HUZZAH! HUZZAH!”

(My wife, her friend, and I start cracking up as they clap.)

Me: “Well, the sign is pretty big and specific.”

Lady #1: “Oh, you wouldn’t believe how many people miss that.”

Lady #2: “Yesterday we had a man come in with orange juice. A kid ran by, smacked his elbow, and he ended up buying a $3,500 costume!”

(I blink, not realizing things in the shop were so expensive.)

Me: “Well… as much as I do want to get my wife a costume, I’d rather get one she wants!”

Lady #3: “And in the right size… and the right color…”

Me: “And not $3,500! No offense!”

Popped Her Ballooning Fantasy

, | NY, USA | Family & Kids, Money

(My sister and I are doing balloons at a local festival. We are selling the balloons for one to two  dollars – pretty cheap compared to most other balloon artists when charging per balloon. Because it’s rainy, we haven’t had many customers. A woman and her daughter walk up to my sister when we have no line.)

My Sister: “Hi! Would you like a balloon?”

Woman: “Yes, she’d like— Oh! It costs money?”

My Sister: “Yes, it does.”

Woman: “Oh… sorry, sweetie, we can’t have any.”

(At hearing this, the daughter bursts out crying. The woman tries to console her.)

Woman: “It’s okay; we’ll go do something else.”

(Instead of going to do something else, the woman hangs around my sister, glancing at her hopefully now and then, obviously hoping she will get a free one. My lovely sister, who’s very stubborn, is not budging. Eventually, the woman’s hopeful glances turn into full out glares, as the child continues to cry and make a scene. Finally, as another man walks up:)

Woman: “All right, well, let’s leave- Oh! Sir, is there any possible way you could give me a dollar?”

Caller: “Oh… uh, yeah, I guess.”

(He handed her the dollar, and so the woman got her suddenly all-smiles daughter a balloon. After my sister handed it to her, she, of course, didn’t even say thank you.)

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