Customer: “I want that spicy chicken burger but not spicy. I hate spice!”

Me: “Just the regular chicken burger, then?”

Customer: “No, I want that spicy chicken burger but not spicy.”

This is an interesting spin on the “I want a cheeseburger without the cheese” scenario…

Me: “Yes, sir, one spicy chicken burger but no spice.”

I make him his regular chicken burger and only charge him for the regular chicken burger, but I mark it out as a “spicy chicken burger” on the receipt because in the past when I’ve printed out what the customer has actually ordered but not what they think they ordered, they complain.

For obvious reasons, the computer doesn’t allow us to punch in the order “spicy chicken burger, no spice”.

After collecting his order, the customer comes storming back.

Customer: “I said I wanted the spicy chicken burger but not spicy!”

Me: “That’s what you have, sir.”

Customer: “Are you r****ded?! My receipt just says spicy chicken burger! Where’s the part where you removed the spice?”

Me: “I can guarantee you, sir, that there is nothing spicy on that burger.”

Customer: “I can’t trust you! You’re really incompetent!”

He suddenly grabs a full handful of sachets of the mayonnaise. He easily has over twenty in his hand.

Customer: “I’m taking all of this mayo! And I’m gonna put it all on my burger because you f***ed up and gave me spicy! This is all your fault!”

The customer storms off before I can say anything. My coworker was watching the interaction and adds the following:

Coworker: “Does he know he grabbed the spicy mayo?”

Related:
A Big Mayo No No, Part 8
A Big Mayo No No, Part 7
A Big Mayo No No, Part 6
A Big Mayo No No, Part 5
A Big Mayo No No, Part 4

An old man comes to the counter of our fast-food burger place with a coupon sheet from the mail, and starts speaking to me in a rude tone:

Customer: “Do you know how coupons work, or do you need to get someone else?”

I’ve dealt with customers like this when I worked at a cell center so I smile and say:

Me: “I can help you.”

He points to a BOGO offer.

Customer: “I want two doubles.”

I look at the coupon sheet.

Me: “That specific coupon only applies to a single or a chicken sandwich, but there is another coupon where you can get a double meal at a discount.”

After getting the same explanation from my manager (who was monitoring me because it was my first week) he appeared to agree to this, and we spent the next ten minutes picking through coupons and putting together a very large order. When we’re done, I started to read his order back to him starting with the double meal.

Customer: *Interrupting.* “That’s supposed to be buy one get one free!”

Me: “That’s not possible with that coupon; that’s why we did the other coupon.”

Customer: *Shouting.* “Forget it!”

He stormed out of the restaurant without his coupons.

Me: *To my manager.* “What should we do with them?”

Manager: “They’re yours now.” 

I gave each of them to any customer interested or to whom the coupon applied.

CONTENT WARNING: Violence
 

I was a shift manager working my last night at this location of a fast food restaurant. We had been dealing with a guy who would constantly call to speak to his girlfriend while she was working. Recently, we had begun to refuse to put him through to her.

On this night, I was called into the drive-thru. I opened the window and saw that same guy. I told him that his girlfriend was working, and he would have to wait until her shift ended. He spat in my face.

I closed the window and started to walk away. He jumped out of his car and began smashing the window with his bare fist. I could see blood on his fist and on the window.

I hurried back to the manager’s desk, picked up the phone, and dialed 911. The next thing I knew, he had ripped the phone off the wall and was beginning to throw a punch at my face.

Unfortunately for him, he was standing in front of our maintenance man, who outweighed him two to one (all muscle). The guy found himself forced to the floor with his arms pinned behind his back.

The police showed up not two minutes later. After an extensive conversation with me, they carted the guy off to jail.

And me? I got to spend my last night there waiting for hours for the window repairman to arrive. Of course, I was on salary, so I didn’t get overtime.

We have this lady who comes in and orders a “create your own” salad.

Customer: “I want a quarter romaine, half spinach, and a quarter iceberg for the greens.”

Literally every time, she sends it back.

Customer: “These portions are not correct!”

She and her husband come in frequently, so we know her as “crazy salad lady”. It eventually gets to the point that my managers hand-make her salads and do the greens by weight to make sure it’s 100% correct portions.

My manager is bringing out her salad.

Customer: “Again? These portions are not correct!

Manager: “Nope. I measured these by weight; it cannot be any more correct than that.”

Customer: “…fine.” 

She immediately shut the f*** up. After that, we never had her send a salad back, and she stopped being the absolute g**d*** worst.

I work at a Mexican-themed fast-food chain. A customer comes in and walks up to me.

Customer: “Hey, let me get a crunchwrap, and can the other thing be soft?”

Me: “…I’m sorry? What do you mean by the other thing? Did you want a combo?”

Customer: “No, I didn’t! But you know, the other thing?”

Me: “I still don’t know what you mean. Can you be more specific?”

Customer: “The other thing! That!”

This back-and-forth keeps repeating itself several times until he gets frustrated and makes a motion with his hands. And at that point, my patience is wearing thin, too.

Me: “…Wait, did you mean the taco? Because you told me you wanted the crunchwrap by itself and not the combo.“

Customer: “Yes! How do you not know what a taco is?!”

Me: “Oh, so that only comes with the combo.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine. Give me the combo, then.”

Me: *Internally* “You’re the one who kept calling it ‘the other thing…'” 

The rest of the order went without incident, at least.