icon_ruderisque

This Job Blows

| Perth, WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Popular, Rude & Risque

(I’m working on the drive-thru window at a fast food restaurant and I’ve just finished taking the order for a car in the queue.)

Me: “Would you like anything else with that?”

Customer: “Yeah, a blow-j*b.”

Me: “Well, mate, if you can get it up to the window…”

(He drove straight through without his order.)

icon_crazyrequests

Giving Them The Milk-Shakedown

, | Warwick, RI, USA | Crazy Requests

(I’m taking late night orders at the drive-thru. Two very heavily intoxicated women come through.)

Customer: “We’d like two milkshakes.”

Me: “Apologies. As it is a half hour before we close, our ice cream and shake machine has been shut down and disassembled for the night

Customer: “But we just came from the bar! You can’t do this to us! We need our shakes!”

(After trying to reason with them, my very sarcastic manager takes over.)

Manager: “Well, I suppose we could reassemble the machine, fill it up, wait minutes for the mix to freeze up to make your shakes, and then we can just break it all down again after.”

(Most people would see this as pure sarcasm, but it would seem the women are too far gone to get it.)

Customer: “Thank you! We’ll wait while you do that.”

(My manager gave up, told them to have a great night and took off his headset. They sat there for a few minutes before driving off. Some people don’t take a hint.)

icon_bizarresilly

What A Sweet Old Bag

, | UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(During the night shift at the restaurant I work at, a customer pulls up.)

Customer: “I’ll get a cheeseburger, a small [Soda], and some chips, please.”

Me: “Okay, will that be all for today?”

Customer: *deadpan* “Well, could you dip the bag in chocolate? Can you do that?”

(I laugh, because the customer made a direct quote from comedian Tim Hawkins who has a joke about how people never eat healthily at fast food places.)

Me: “I see that you watch Tim Hawkins!”

(There is an awkward silence on the other end of the phone.)

Customer: “Uh… who’s Tim Hawkins?”

Me: “Never mind.”

Customer: “But can you dip the bag in chocolate?”

Me: “No, sir, we can’t.”

(To this day I have no idea whether it was an actual, insane request, or if somebody with a sense of humor decided to mess with my mind.)