The Root Of All Sarcasm

, | Burlington, VT, USA | Working | December 17, 2015

Customer: “Hey, what exactly is a root beer float?”

Coworker: *holding up a cup* “It’s one of these, with a root beer float in it.”

Has A Loose Hold On Definitions

, | Nottingham, England, UK | Right | December 16, 2015

(I work as a cashier at a well-known fast food restaurant. The customer I was serving asked for his food to take out.)

Me: “Would you like a cup holder for your drinks?”

Customer: “Is that the thing that goes on top?”

Me: “No, sir, that’s a lid…”

Hope Dr. Pepper Is An Ear Doctor

, | Macon, GA, USA | Working | December 14, 2015

(On our way to my husband’s doctor’s appointment, we stop at a fast food restaurant for breakfast. I go and sit down while my husband orders for us. I overhear this.)

Husband: “A number five and a number eight, please.”

Cashier: “And what to drink with those?”

Husband: “A Coke and a Dr. Pepper.”

Cashier: “What was that?”

Husband: “A Coke and a Dr. Pepper.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, one more time.”

Husband: *slowly* “A Coke and a Dr. Pepper.”

Cashier: “A Coke or a Dr. Pepper?”

Husband: “No, a Coke AND a Dr. Pepper.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, you lost me.”

Husband: “Two sodas, please.”

Time For You To Go

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Working | December 8, 2015

(I am working a longer shift than normal to cover for a fellow employee who has to leave early for a family emergency. I work at the register from about 6:30 am-2:00 pm, taking customers’ orders. Once the other employee leaves at the time I am scheduled to leave, I cover the drive-thru speaker until the other employee’s replacement comes. After having worked the register for so long, my brain is a little stuck in that mode. The first customer drives up almost as soon as I walk over to the drive thru area and don a headset.)

Me: “Your total is $[total]. Is that for here or to go?”

(Thankfully they were good-humored about it! Then, near the end of my extra-long shift, my brain is a little fried.)

Me: *answering phone* “Thank you for calling [Bookstore in another state where I had worked over six years before]. How can I help you?”

(My coworkers just stare at me as I realize my error.)

Me: “I am SO sorry! I have had a long day. This is [RESTAURANT]!”

Customer On Phone: *laughs* “I was wondering. I didn’t even think we had one of those here!”

Coupon Complication

| Peterborough, ON, Canada | Right | December 8, 2015

(We have several coupons out. One is for a “two can dine.” This means the customer gets two full combos for a set price, in our case $10 + tax.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to use this.”

(Presents coupon.)

Me: “No problem; we can do that for you.”

(The transaction goes well until it’s time for him to pay.)

Me: “That will be [total], please.”

(His total is $11 and change. He hands me $1.50 and the coupon.)

Me: “Sorry, I still need another $10 from you.”

Customer: “No, I gave you the coupon.”

Me: “You did, but you still owe me $10.”

Customer: “The coupon says $10 off. I gave you the coupon so I only owe you the difference.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that isn’t how it works. This coupon lets you buy two combos and you only pay $10 instead of the regular $17 or so.”

Customer: “But it says right there: take $10 off.”

(This goes on for a few minutes, with the supervisor on shift explaining it to him as well. Eventually he leaves without buying anything.)

Customer: *on his way out* “Bunch of morons. Your other store wouldn’t do it right, either.”

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