I Believe In Humanity

| Bakersfield, CA, USA | Right | December 24, 2015

(I am at a fast food place with my aunt and uncle. I notice a older man in a Santa hat walking around handing out candy canes.)

Santa: *to me* “Do you still believe?”

Me: “Of course!”

Santa: “You answered well. Here’s a candy cane!”

(Faith in humanity restored!)

Valentine’s Pay

, | Neuquén, Argentina | Romantic | December 23, 2015

(I’m the customer in this one. It’s Valentine’s Day, and although is not a really celebrated holiday in my country, the company is American. I have already ordered and I’m about to pay when the cashier smiles at me and makes me a question.)

Cashier: “Are you in love?”

(I was rejected by my crush two weeks ago, so the question doesn’t make me happy at all.)

Me: “No, not really…”

Cashier: *bummed* “…I’ll give you the discount anyway. I hate having to ask that.”

Christmas Jeer Starts Earlier Every Year

| USA | Right | December 22, 2015

(I’m passing food out to the customers. A lady pulls up who had a very large order.)

Me: “Hello ma’am! Here’s your order.”

Customer: “Could you help me go through my bags and make sure all my food is here. I went to [store fifty miles away] last week and they shorted me a cheeseburger.”

(We are not busy and there is no one behind her so I consent. After a few minutes we determine she has everything that she ordered.)

Me: “Here is your food, ma’am. Have a great day!”

(She suddenly snaps and starts screaming.)

Customer: “I’m calling your corporate offices! This is outrageous!”

(The customer parks and comes in to complain to my manager.)

Customer: “You should be ashamed of your staff! I want that little harlot fired!”

Manager: “I’m sorry she upset you, ma’am. Could you please explain to me the problem so I can fix it for you?”

Customer: “I told her I went to [different store] and they shorted me a cheeseburger and she didn’t give me a free one! I want my free cheeseburger!”

Manager: “Well, ma’am, I would be happy to replace it for you but I will need the receipt for the order that was wrong.”

Customer: “I don’t have it anymore.”

Manager: “Okay, then I will call the other store and ask them, they should have your complaint on file.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I didn’t call them.”

Manager: “So you don’t have your receipt and you didn’t tell the other store they shorted you a cheeseburger and want us to give you a free one today?”

Customer: “Well… I’m still calling your corporate office!”

Manager: “Can I ask why, ma’am?”

Customer: “No one has wished me a Merry Christmas!”

(The customer leaves and my manager looks at me is disbelief.)

Me: “It’s still November!”

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The Freedom To Refuse Fries

| Finland | Working | December 20, 2015

(For some time I haven’t been able to finish a burger combo, so I usually buy just the sandwich and drink.)

Me: “A burger and coke.”

Cashier: “Combo is cheaper.”

Me: “I know, but I’d have to throw the fries away.”

Cashier: “Take the combo; it’s cheaper.”

Me: “Burger and coke, or I take my business to [Domestic Competitor with many times the market share of the global chain].”

Cashier: *acting hurt* “Well, SORRY for trying to save your money!”

The Root Of All Sarcasm

, | Burlington, VT, USA | Working | December 17, 2015

Customer: “Hey, what exactly is a root beer float?”

Coworker: *holding up a cup* “It’s one of these, with a root beer float in it.”

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