A Gluten For Punishment, Part 2

| Portland, OR, USA | Right | June 16, 2016

(I am in a sandwich shop waiting in line while the customer ahead of me orders.)

Customer: “Can I get a six-inch gluten free bread?”

Employee: “Sure, no problem. Do you want me to toast the bread before I put the toppings on?” *this is a standard offer for their gluten free bread*

Customer: “Yes.”

Employee: *after toasting* “So what kind of sandwich are you having today?”

Customer: “Scrape off the gluten.”

Employee: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “I can see the gluten. The dark bits. Scrape them off.”

(The employee scrapes off the toasted bits of the bread.)

Customer: “I want [Sandwich].”

Employee: *puts first type of meat on the bread*

Customer: “NO! Ham goes on the other side.”

Employee: *puts ham on the other side and starts putting on salami*

Customer: “No! Salami goes on last!”

(This goes on for each and every single thing the employee puts on the sub. The entire time he’s smiling like she’s the best customer in the world.)

Me: *after she makes her purchase and leaves* “Doesn’t she know it’s all going to the same place anyway? It tastes the same however you put it together.”

Employee: “Yes, it does.”

Me: “How do you put up with customers like that?”

Employee: “She’s a secret shopper. [Nearby branch of the same company] told me she might come by today.”

 

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Giving Them The 101 On The 202

| CA, USA | Right | June 14, 2016

(At my work, when we give the customer the receipt, there is a number on the top. We can either call out the food items or the number. I have an order ready on a tray and am going to call it out.)

Me: “Two egg muffins and a hash brown!”

Customer #1: “Is this number 202?”

Me: “I’m not sure. Is this what you ordered?”

Customer #1: “But is it number 202?”

(Sometimes if it’s a small order, I will just call out the food item(s). I walk back to the monitor and look up this order and it is number 202.)

Me: “Yes, it is 202.”

Customer #1: “That was to go.”

(The customer walks away and I get a bag and place the food into it. I call it out again.)

Me: “Number 202, two egg muffins and a hash brown.”

Customer #2: “Is this number 305? Breakfast platter and four hash browns?”

Me: “No, two egg muffins and one hash brown.”

Customer #1: “Is this 202?”

Me: “Yes, sir, two egg muffins and a hash brown. 202.”

(I had to walk away for a few minutes after that. This happens on a daily basis.)

Not… Done… Not Listening!

, | Jackson, CA, USA | Working | June 14, 2016

(I decide to go through the drive-thru of one of the local fast food restaurants. I used to work at this location, so I place my order as easily as possible, so the employee doesn’t have to ask 100 questions.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like a medium #4, with three egg rolls instead of the fries, and a Dr. Pepper with light ice, please.”

Employee: “Okay, that’s a #4 with onion rings and a small Diet Coke?”

(As she says this, the items start appearing on the order screen.)

Me: “Um, no. I’d like it with three egg rolls and a medium Dr. Pepper.”

(I see the onion rings disappear from the ordering screen, but the Diet Coke stays up there.)

Employee: “Okay, if your order looks correct, it’ll be—”

Me: “My order isn’t correct. I’d like a medium Dr. Pepper with light ice, not a small Diet Coke.”

(She finally rings up the correct drink.)

Employee: “Does your order look correct now?”

Me: “Yes, but I’m not done ordering. Can I get—”

Employee: “Your total will be—”

Me: *losing patience* “I’M. NOT. DONE. ORDERING. YET.”

(Silence from her while I gather my composure.)

Me: “Can I get two tacos with no taco sauce, please?”

Employee: *sigh* “Will that complete your order?”

Me: “Yes.”

Employee: “Your total will be [total] at the window.”

(The funniest part was that the person working the drive-thru was the manager! I was polite my entire time at the window, but she all but threw my change and food at me before mumbling a thank you and slamming the window shut. My fiancée, who was in the car with me, couldn’t stop laughing the entire time.)

In One Ear And Drive-Thru The Other

| NV, USA | Right | June 13, 2016

(I work at a busy fast food restaurant with a double drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “I just got here! Will you give a minute?!”

Me: “Sure, just let me know when you’re ready.”

(A few minutes pass without another word, and the drive-thru line is getting quite backed up and the other lane hasn’t been answered either.)

Me: “Are you ready to order yet? If not would you mind if I take the other car’s order?”

Customer: “No, fine, I’m ready. I want a [Sandwich].”

Me: “Okay, just the burger, then?”

Customer: “OH, MY GOD, I’m not done yet! You’re asking me too many questions!”

Me: Okay, go ahead…”

(A minute of silence passes.)

Me: “Was there anything else?”

Customer: “I told you, I want a [Sandwich].”

Me: “Yes, I got that.”

Customer: “But that’s not all I wanted!!!”

Me: “What else did you want?”

Customer: “I just told you. I want the [Sandwich].”

(At this point all of my coworkers possessing a headset as well are laughing as they go about their business and my manager is face-palming.)

Me: “Did you want the combo meal?”

Customer: “What don’t you understand about I want a [Sandwich]?”

Me: “The sandwich is just the sandwich. The [combo number] includes fries and a drink.”

Customer: “Oh… well, I want that, then!”

Me: “Ok, what size would you like that?”

Customer: “For the burger? How do you have different sizes of burgers…?”

Me: “It’s for the fries and the drink… small, medium, or large?”

(Another long pause.)

Customer: “Uh…”

(This “uh” seriously trailed out for a good 20 seconds.)

Customer: “Medium….”

Me: “Okay, what to drink?”

Customer: “Tea.”

Me: “Sweet tea, or unsweet?”

Customer: “Yes!”

(I hear at least three coworkers audibly cackle throughout the store.)

Me: “Okay, it will be [total] at the window.”

(After about seven minutes total of waiting for this customer to order one meal I finally get to answer the other lane.)

Me: “Sorry about that wait. What can I get for you?”

Customer #3: *laughing wildly* “People that stupid shouldn’t be allowed to use a drive-thru.”

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A Word To The Unwise

| New Britain, CT, USA | Working | June 10, 2016

(While serving a customer one day, I used a random really big word while we were making small talk, something like “juxtaposition” or “ubiquitous”; I can’t remember. He and my coworker teased me through the rest of the transaction about needing to dumb down my “SAT vocabulary.” Fast forward exactly a week later and I am training a new employee, and we are serving the exact same customer as before. I’m giving my trainee a lesson on how to cut and wrap a sandwich properly so that none of the toppings fall out and it stays secure in the bag, and the customer is watching. What the customer hadn’t seen ten minutes before was that the trainee had wrapped a sandwich incorrectly and when he went to move it, it fell out of the packaging and we had to make another. He was already feeling stupid and embarrassed and I had to reassure him that it was no problem while my coworker cleaned it up.)

Customer: “Training, huh?”

Trainee: “It’s my first job.”

Me: “First day, too, and he’s already doing really well.” *to my trainee* “You are. I’m just super picky about how I teach stuff. This is a good trick to know. You’ll get it faster than you think.”

Customer: “Well, buddy, she’ll do a good job training you. She’s the pro here. Just make sure she remembers to use small words!” *he ribs me across the counter*

Coworker: “Hahahaha!”

Me: “Hahaha!”

Customer: “Hahahaha!”

Trainee: “…” *he scampers to the back room*

Me, Customer, & Coworker: “OH, HONEY, NOOOOOOO! That’s not what we meant! Here, have a cookie! We’ll buy you a cookie! I’M SO SORRY! COME BACK!”

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