Combo Number Four(skin)

, | Des Moines, IA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

(I’m working the drive-thru at about nine pm. A car comes up and a teenager gives his order of a burger.)

Me: “And what size do you want for that?”

Customer: “Uh… circumcise me!”

Me: “You mean supersize?”

Customer: “Yeah! Circumcise me.”

(He drives to the first window, paying. I stick an extra plastic knife in his bag. When he drives to my window, I hand him his food.)

Me: “Sir, I included one of our plastic knives. Unfortunately, we can’t perform your request here.”

Customer: “What?”

(The girl in the passenger seat, presumably his girlfriend, leans over and whispers in his ear.)

Customer: *eyes widen and looks at me horrified*

Me: “You did ask.”

Customer: *steps on the gas and speeds out of the drive-thru*

Needs A Break(fast)

, | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

Customer: “Do you have toast?”

Me: “No, ma’am. We—”

Customer: *points to greeter* “But SHE said I could have breakfast, so I want breakfast.”

Me: “Even though it’s lunch time, we serve pancakes, bacon, and oatmeal all day. Would you like—”

Customer: “You must be NEW because you don’t know ANYTHING!”

Manager: “We also have some breakfast burritos left if you’d like those.”

Customer: “Ring me up for PANCAKES, then. Pan… CAKES. She said breakfast. I want breakfast!”

Me: “Would you like syrup—”

Customer: “YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING! PANCAKES. I WANT PANCAKES.”

(Luckily, her pancakes come up pretty quickly, and she yanks the tray out of my manager’s hands.)

Customer: “SEE? Now you KNOW SOMETHING.”

Me: *to manager* “I am now aware that we have pancakes. I now have edumacation. I are smart.”

Manager: “You can leave early if you want…”

Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2

, | USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(One very early morning, I have just made a customer a hot mocha.)

Customer: “Um, I think there’s something wrong with my drink. It’s really cold. It’s not even lukewarm!”

Me: “I’m so sorry! Maybe I hit the iced button by accident. Let me remake that for you.”

(I proceed to remake the drink, being extra careful to make it perfectly.)

Me: “All done! Again, sorry about that.”

(The customer takes a tiny sip and slams the cup back on the counter.)

Customer: “It’s still cold!”

Me: “Sir… that was the whipped cream. Your coffee is underneath it.”

Related:
Not The Cream Of The Crop