Fast Food, Slow Comprehension

| Little Rock, AR, USA | Working | December 3, 2015

(I am at the drive-thru of a well known fast food chain.)

Employee: “Thank you for choosing [Restaurant]. What can we get for you tonight?”

Me: “I’d like to get one [Item 1] and one [Item 2], please.”

Employee: “Would you like anything to drink with that, sir?”

Me: “No thanks. Just [Item 1] and [Item 2].”

Employee: “Okay, so that’s one [Wrong Item 1] and one [Wrong Item 2]?”

(These items are not even close to what I ordered.)

Me: “No, it’s one [Item 1] and one [Item 2].”

Employee: “Sorry about that. So that’s one [Wrong Item 3] and one [Wrong Item 4]?”

(These are even further away from what I ordered.)

Me: “No, it’s one [Item 1] and one [Item 2].”

(This exchange happens four more times before the employee finally gets it right. By this time I’m barely managing to keep my cool.)

Employee: “Okay, your total will be [amount almost three times what it should be]. Please pull forward.”

(Thinking I misheard the price, I go ahead and pull up to the window.)

Employee: “That’ll be [wrong price], sir.”

Me: “That doesn’t sound right. [Item 1] is $X.xx and [Item 2] is $X.xx. Even with tax, it should be about a third of that total.”

Employee: “I’ll need to get my manager.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Me: “I ordered [Item 1] and [Item 2] and the total should be around $X.xx, but your employee quoted a price nearly three times that.”

Manager: *checks computer* “Ah, here’s the problem. Okay, sir, your total is [correct amount].”

Me: “Ah, thank you. Here you go.”

Manager: “Here’s your order. Have a nice night.”

(I check the order at the window to make sure it’s correct. It isn’t. At this point, I’m REALLY struggling to remain civil.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but this is not what I ordered. I’d like a refund, please.”

Manager: *looks at order* “Hmm, no, that’s not right at all. If you’ll wait a few minutes, we’ll remake that for you.”

Me: “I had to give my order six times before your employee could even quote it back correctly, then she tried to over charge me for it, and then I was given the wrong order. Frankly, I’d rather have a refund and go hungry than deal with this any further.”

Manager: “I understand, sir. Here you go. And thank you for remaining so calm through all of this. Have a nice night, sir.”

Me: “You, too.”

(When I went back two weeks later, I found out that the entire staff save for the manager had been replaced. I haven’t had any problems since.)

Maca No No

| Perth, WA, Australia | Romantic | November 30, 2015

(My boyfriend is Chinese and I’m Persian. English is his second language as well as mine. Sometimes we have hilarious English blunders. We’re on the way to the drive-thru of McDonald’s, and my boyfriend is insisting that his English has improved because he has been studying it.)

Boyfriend: “What do you want?”

Me: “Macarons please. Mixed flavors.”

Boyfriend: “Ugh, those again. How do you pronounce it?”

(We reach the drive thru speaker.)

Drive-Thru Worker: “Hi! What can I get you?”

Boyfriend: “Mac… Macao… uh, macanonos please!”

Drive-Thru Worker: “Err… macarons? Sure.”

(We complete the order and start driving off. My boyfriend is blushing while I giggle.)

Me: “Great English, mate!”

Boyfriend: “F*** the shut up!”

Big Mac Attack

, | Fond du Lac, WI, USA | Right | November 26, 2015

Customer: “I’ll have a Big Mac, please.”

Customer’s Wife: “Oh! No onion on that.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, no onions. I’m really allergic to them.”

Me: “You know that there’s onions in the Mac Sauce, right?”

Customer: “Really? Wow, well that explains why I feel funny every time I eat a Big Mac…”

Has No Time For Your Closing Time

| WI, USA | Right | November 23, 2015

(I am closing at the fast food place, so things are slowing down. I get a customer in drive-thru who orders a lot of food, and several drinks, all large. I have very specific rules on when to take orders when there are only three people, including myself working. As I’m taking the payment, someone comes up to order.)

Me: *after automated message plays:* “Just one moment, please.”

Customer: *after about 15 seconds* “Hello?”

Me: *as I’m trying to count out the change for the polite customer at my window* “I’m sorry, give me just a minute.”

(The process repeats a few times before the customer trying to order gets fed up.)

Customer: *talking to his passenger* “Fine, let’s just go to McDonald’s.”

(They then they drive off, rather impatiently. As I’m handing out all of the food for the customer at my window:)

Customer #2: “Sorry for ordering so much.”

Me: “Not a problem; you have a nice night.”

(About 10 minutes later, that same truck, with Mister Impatient, comes back and places an order.)

Me: *at the window during payment* “McDonald’s closes before us here.”

(The customer gave me a startled look, not sure how I knew.)

The Meat Of The Problem Is Not The Meat

| Tampere, Finland | Working | November 20, 2015

Me: “Two €2 cheeseburgers please.”

Cashier: “Would you like to have cheese on them?”

Me: “…Yes?”

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