Bird Is The Word

, | Montgomery, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Religion

(I am working the drive thru on a Sunday, a time when we have a lot of regular customers after church lets out. I recognize a man from last Sunday.)

Me: “Hey, I remember you from the other day!”

Customer: “That’s right! You have a good memory! I like to hear the word and eat the bird!”

Needs Some Light Soul Food

, | CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I am working the drive thru of the store very early in the morning.)

Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Store], what could I get for you today?”

Customer: “Just a small coffee.”

Me: “How will you take your coffee today?”

Customer: “Black, just like my soul.”

Me: “… okay?”

A Trashy Pick Up Line

, | Canada | One-Liners, Rude & Risque

(I am in my teens, taking out the garbage. One of our regular customers, an elderly man who is a well-known jokester, comes up to me at the end of his meal. I’m switching out the trash bag.)

Elderly Man: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Taking out the trash.”

Elderly Man: “Well, I’m trash. Can you take me out?”

(I laugh into the garbage can.)

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t, but I’ll have to remember that one. It’s good!”