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A Really Depressing Sign

| France | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Popular

(It’s 11 pm, and we have just got out of an amusement park. Before taking the train back we decide to have a good old junk-food dinner at a well-known fast food place. On the doors outside, there’s a sign taped which reads “sorry, no soda left.”)

My Friend: *I’d like Meal #2, and to drink I’d like a co—”

Me: *interrupting* “No, they have no soda. Remember the sign?”

Cashier: *looks up at me with amazement* “You’re the FIRST patron tonight to actually notice the sign.”

(My friend was embarrassed and I really felt sorry for the cashier, and wished her a good end of shift!)

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Don’t F*** With The Menu

, | Australia | At The Checkout, Language & Words

(I work on drive-thru. I have a bit of a reputation for acting silly with customers, usually because I work the late-night weekend shifts and therefore talk to a lot of drunk people.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. Can I please take your order?”

Customer: *confused, obviously caught out* “Ah, ah – f***!”

Me: *not missing a beat* “That’ll cost extra, sir.”

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They’re Winging It

, | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Hey, how are you doing?”

Customer: “I’m not ready yet!”

(We’re trained to greet the customer, ask for his or her name, then proceed through the order, so I wait for twenty seconds or so.)

Me: “Could I have your name, please?”

Customer: “Don’t rush me!”

(A minute later.)

Customer: “I’d like wings.”

Me: “All right, could I have your name for the order, please?”

Customer: “I’m not done yet!”

Me: “We ask for the name at the beginning of the order.”

Customer: “[Name].”

Me: “All right, [Name], do you want a combo or just the wings?”

Customer: “Just wings.”

Me: “Okay, how many would you like?”

Customer: “Ten.”

Me: “All right, [Name], and will those be boneless or regular wings?”

Customer: “I want the wings.”

Me: “Yes, boneless or regular?”

Customer: “Yeah, hot.”

Me: *louder* “Boneless or regular?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Regular wings are the… regular… wings, like drumsticks and flats. Boneless wings are… without bone.”

Customer: “Yeah, the regular wings. That’s what I said!”