I’ve been described as a more masculine lesbian, which is fine. I am serving a customer at our fast food place.

Customer: “I’m not comfortable with you serving me because I can’t tell if you’re male or female.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t feel comfortable serving you because I can’t tell if you’re an idiot or an a**hole.”

My sister works in a fast food restaurant, and she’s the worker who hands food to people. She has been playing a game of name association with her coworker, where they try to name celebrities or famous fictional characters based on the names that are on the orders.

This particular order has the name “Wayne,” and she has come up with the alter-ego of Batman. When the car pulls up, she accidentally asks the customer, a somewhat elderly man:

Sister: “Hi, was it for Bruce Wayne— I mean, Wayne?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s Wayne. What did you say?”

Sister: “Is your name Wayne?”

Customer: “No, before that.”

Sister: *Trying to play it off* “Oh, I was just thinking about something.”

Customer: “Were you thinking about your hot date for tonight?”

Sister: “Nonononono, not at all!”

Customer: “Don’t worry about it. Just remember, marry for money and not love.”

And then he just drove off with his food. What?

Customer: “[Soda]… easy on the ice.”

I give her the drink, and she opens it.

Customer: “I said, ‘Easy on the ice.’ Why did you fill the ice to the top?!”

She was mad and just drove off.

We are in the middle of a massive heat wave, and I feel like I am dying. I am taking an order when suddenly the world around me starts becoming fuzzy and black spots interrupt my vision.

As I’m in the middle of the order and trying to answer questions about the salads, I grab a passing manager and get them to take over the order. I stumble blindly into the office to stick my head between my knees so that I don’t pass out on the hard tile floor.

My manager comes in with a glass of water.

Manager: “That last customer was super angry that you didn’t answer her question or complete her order. She told me you should be fired because you’re not ‘considerate of the customer’s needs.”

Then, my manager hands me a cookie.

Manager: “Go stand in the freezer until you feel better.”

It is my first day of work. An old man comes in, and all he does is stand at the counter and stare at me, expecting that I magically know his order. I have to ask someone else what his deal is in order to figure out what his order is.

Coworker: “That’s [Pensioner]. He comes in every day to take advantage of the free coffee for pensioners. His order is always the same.”

Customer: *Demanding* “I want eight sugars, a spoon, and a large cup, with a small amount of cold water at the bottom!”

The large cup is usually reserved for soft drinks. He was creating a larger cup of coffee for himself out of it, sneaky geezer.