Years ago, when I used to work at a fast food drive-thru, I developed an odd muscle memory tic. I was a gamer, so I wore a headset and often used a function called Push-To-Talk when in voice channels with my friends. Basically, I would push a button so that I could be heard and release the button when I didn’t want to be heard. This stopped background noise from coming through, but it also meant I had to push the button to be heard.

One night, while chatting with my friends, I realized they couldn’t hear me despite the fact I was sure I was pressing the button. It wasn’t until my husband came over and tapped me on the shoulder to point out what I was doing that I realized I was trying to push a button on my headphones — about the same location the button was on my drive-thru headset at work.

Embarrassed, I pressed the button on my keyboard, apologized to my friends that I hadn’t been present in the conversation, and explained what had happened. They didn’t stop giving me grief about it for a solid few years, even long after I lost that job.

I work for a fast food joint. We serve burgers and sandwiches. One popular “menu hack” is to order a cheeseburger without the patty to get a grilled cheese. We have the freedom to put extra cheese on these sandwiches, and the owner of the franchise encourages it.

We’re a bit short-staffed today, but it’s also an abnormally quiet day, so I’m holding down both the drive-thru and the lobby.

A guy comes through our drive-thru.

Customer: “Cheeseburger, hold the patty, with tomato, no onion, and extra lettuce.”

Simple, right? We prep it for him and serve it to him. The guy tips us $20. That’s a bit weird.

A little later he SLAMS his way into the lobby.

Customer: “Hey! Where are my drugs, man?!”

Me: “Uh… What?”

Customer: “My drugs! I put in the order correctly! You took my $20. Where are my drugs?!”

Me: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Customer: “Bulls***. Ryan said that if I ordered a cheeseburger, hold the patty, with tomato, no onions, and extra lettuce, you’d slip me a baggy of weed. I paid you $20 for that baggy of weed!”

Me: “No one named Ryan even works here! I don’t know anyone named Ryan! I don’t understand what you’re going on about!”

I start hyperventilating. I don’t know if the guy is armed or not, but I have a sinking feeling he probably is. This gives him pause. He looks around the restaurant suspiciously.

Customer: *Sheepishly* “Oh. Wrong place.”

There are a few moments while he stands there thinking then.

Customer: “I still want my $20 back, though, you hear?”

Me: “I need a manager to refund something like that, and you’d have to explain the whole story to him. Do you really want to do that? He might call the cops or something.”

“Hopefully,” I thought to myself, “he already has.”

The guy turned around and left. After he was out the door, I walked to the back and demanded someone come and take over the front for a bit, as I desperately needed to go on break.

The cops did show up later, I gave a short statement, and the manager showed them the video from our security feed. I never heard anything more about it.

I wonder what place he mistook us for?

I work at a well-known fast food chain as an opening manager. This morning, I was in the order-taking and cashier role in the drive-thru. I was taking a person’s order at the speaker box. She was taking a bit longer to order than some, so the driver behind her pulled out of line. (I saw this on our CCTV.) I thought she was simply leaving, but instead, she pulled up to my window and demanded:

Customer: “Get me coffee!”

I could have helped her, and I would have if she’d asked politely, but instead:

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but you need to get back in line.”

By this point, there were two more cars ahead of her. She actually did get back in line, and when she got to the speaker, she didn’t wait for me to greet her. She simply shouted her demand.

I went through my usual greeting spiel, as an attempt to “train” the customer, and she demanded her coffee. I gave her the total and went on to the next car. When she got to my window to pay, she didn’t want to wait as I took another driver’s order. She placed her money (thankfully, exact change) on the donation box outside the window and drove off.

Look, lady, I’m sorry you’re running late, but kindness still pays.

I’m in a burrito place when an older man approaches the counter with a mostly-eaten burrito bowl.

Customer: “This is too spicy. Why does it not say that it’s so spicy?”

Employee: “All our meat has some spiciness to it. It’s on the menu up there: marinated in chipotle adobo.”

Customer: “I can’t read Spanish! Make me a new bowl!”

Related:
Totally Estúpido! Part 23
Totally Estúpido! Part 22
Totally Estúpido! Part 21
Totally Estúpido! Part 20
Totally Estúpido! Part 19

I am a manager at a fast food place. I take a phone call from a man.

Caller: “I would like to complain about the size of my pickle!”

Assuming it’s a prank, I reply:

Me: “Don’t tell me about your personal problems.”

And I hung up. He sent a written complaint about me, but when my boss tried to tell me off, he couldn’t keep a straight face, so I got off.