Older Ladies Have A Higher Drive (Thru)

, | Charlotte, NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I’m working the drive thru late on Saturday night. I’m 17 at this point. A group of older women, presumably on a cougars’ night out, have come up to the second window and have paid. I hand them their drinks.)

Me: “Your food will be right out, ladies.”

Woman: *in the back seat* “Show him something!”

(I think I know what she means, so I’m not particularly keen to hand them their food when it comes up. Sure enough, when I go to give them their food, EVERY woman in the car has exposed her bare breasts.)

Me: “Here’s your food. Have a good night!”

(I immediately closed the window and fled. I could hear them laughing as they drove off. What a show for a 17-year old…)

Must Be On A Naughty Diet

, | MI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I’ve just started a job at a certain Canadian coffee shop franchise. It’s my first job, and I’m still learning how to deal with people and learning the items we sell.)

Customer: “I’d like a naughty donut, please.”

Me: *pause* “What kind of donut?”

Customer: “A naughty donut.”

(I entered in ‘assorted donut’ and he pays. My coworker comes up and reads the screen, going over to the donut section.)

Coworker: “Hi, sir, what type of donut did you want?”

Customer: “A naughty one.”

Coworker: “Um… what kind?”

Customer: *points* “A Peanut Crunch.”

Me: “Oh, a NUTTY donut!”

I’m Driving Thru For Christmas

, | Vernon, BC, Canada | Hall of Fame, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(We close on Christmas Eve at 3:00 pm, and all employees get the duration of Christmas to spend with their family. It’s 3:20, and we’ve closed the lobby, and are letting all the customers who were in the drive-thru line before 3:00 through. It’s going decently, despite our lack of stock, until the last car.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Fast Food Chain]. What can I get for you?”

Young Man: “Hi, I’d like a medium Iced Capp, and an everything bagel, toasted, with cream cheese.”

Me: “Unfortunately, the Iced Capp machine is shut down, as we’re closing for Christmas Eve, and we’re all out of the everything bagel.”

Young Man: “WHAT!? This is completely unacceptable! You can’t just shut everything down! What time do you close!?”

Me: “Twenty minutes ago. There should be a sign under the speaker box.”

Young Man: “Uh… oh.”

Me: “Yeah… Is there anything else I can get for you?”

Young Man: “Uh… no, sorry.”

Me: “Well, have a good one.”

(The young man drives off and I take off my headset, foolishly believing that I had hit my stupid person quota for the day.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], can you finish taking out the trash?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I head out back with the last couple of trash bags, and take the lot of them to the dumpster across the parking lot. As I’m returning, I see a car, trying to drive over the curb and around the pylon barrier blocking the drive-thru that my manager had set up. I approach the vehicle.)

Me: “Uh, hello? Whatcha up to?”

Young Woman: “Oh, uh, hi. Yeah, I was wondering if you could like, move these cone-thingys. They’re blocking the drive-thru.”

Me: “Well, that’s because the drive-thru is closed. The whole store is closed so everyone can spend the holidays with their families.”

Young Woman: “Wow, that’s like, weird. How are people supposed to know the drive-thru is closed?”

Me: “Well if the large, orange pylons in front of the entrance are too subtle a hint, there’s also the sign taped to that middle one that says that the drive-thru is closed.”

Young Woman: “Oh, wow! I didn’t read that!”

Me: “Literacy is a beautiful thing.”

Young Woman: “…Huh?”

Me: “Never mind. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

(I walked back inside to finish cleaning and wondered about the bleak future of humanity.)