Must Be On A Naughty Diet

, | MI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I’ve just started a job at a certain Canadian coffee shop franchise. It’s my first job, and I’m still learning how to deal with people and learning the items we sell.)

Customer: “I’d like a naughty donut, please.”

Me: *pause* “What kind of donut?”

Customer: “A naughty donut.”

(I entered in ‘assorted donut’ and he pays. My coworker comes up and reads the screen, going over to the donut section.)

Coworker: “Hi, sir, what type of donut did you want?”

Customer: “A naughty one.”

Coworker: “Um… what kind?”

Customer: *points* “A Peanut Crunch.”

Me: “Oh, a NUTTY donut!”

I’m Driving Thru For Christmas

, | Vernon, BC, Canada | Hall of Fame, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(We close on Christmas Eve at 3:00 pm, and all employees get the duration of Christmas to spend with their family. It’s 3:20, and we’ve closed the lobby, and are letting all the customers who were in the drive-thru line before 3:00 through. It’s going decently, despite our lack of stock, until the last car.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Fast Food Chain]. What can I get for you?”

Young Man: “Hi, I’d like a medium Iced Capp, and an everything bagel, toasted, with cream cheese.”

Me: “Unfortunately, the Iced Capp machine is shut down, as we’re closing for Christmas Eve, and we’re all out of the everything bagel.”

Young Man: “WHAT!? This is completely unacceptable! You can’t just shut everything down! What time do you close!?”

Me: “Twenty minutes ago. There should be a sign under the speaker box.”

Young Man: “Uh… oh.”

Me: “Yeah… Is there anything else I can get for you?”

Young Man: “Uh… no, sorry.”

Me: “Well, have a good one.”

(The young man drives off and I take off my headset, foolishly believing that I had hit my stupid person quota for the day.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], can you finish taking out the trash?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I head out back with the last couple of trash bags, and take the lot of them to the dumpster across the parking lot. As I’m returning, I see a car, trying to drive over the curb and around the pylon barrier blocking the drive-thru that my manager had set up. I approach the vehicle.)

Me: “Uh, hello? Whatcha up to?”

Young Woman: “Oh, uh, hi. Yeah, I was wondering if you could like, move these cone-thingys. They’re blocking the drive-thru.”

Me: “Well, that’s because the drive-thru is closed. The whole store is closed so everyone can spend the holidays with their families.”

Young Woman: “Wow, that’s like, weird. How are people supposed to know the drive-thru is closed?”

Me: “Well if the large, orange pylons in front of the entrance are too subtle a hint, there’s also the sign taped to that middle one that says that the drive-thru is closed.”

Young Woman: “Oh, wow! I didn’t read that!”

Me: “Literacy is a beautiful thing.”

Young Woman: “…Huh?”

Me: “Never mind. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

(I walked back inside to finish cleaning and wondered about the bleak future of humanity.)

Christmas Is Spoiled For The Spoiled Customer

, | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a fast food coffee and doughnut shop. Every year at Christmas we would be the only location within our area that remained open. This year the owners decide it isn’t worth keeping the location open. On Christmas Eve one of our regulars comes through the drive thru.)

Customer: “It is really unfair that you guys have to work the holidays. You should be at home with your families.”

Coworker: “Actually, we are closing this year, so we get to enjoy the holidays as well.”

Customer: “Wait, you are closing? What am I going to do? I need you guys to give me a coffee! How am I going to get through the day without a coffee?”

Coworker: “Have you ever thought of making it at home?”

Customer: “No! I can’t do that. It’s too much work! You need to make my coffee.”

Coworker: “Well, unfortunately, we won’t be here, so you will have to either go without for a day or make your own.”

Customer: “That’s not fair! What do you expect me to do?”

(She then drove off in a huff, and came in a couple days later complaining we ruined her Christmas because she couldn’t get a coffee.)