Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t serve you at the drive-thru.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?!”

Me: “You’re really going to make me say it?”

Customer: “Why can’t I be served in the drive-thru?!”

Me: “Because you’re on a horse, sir.”

Customer: “That’s discrimination!”

Me: “I can only serve customers in a vehicle, sir, not on an animal.”

Customer: “What if I said it was a seeing-eye horse?”

I work in a takeaway chicken store which is conveniently located right next to a pub/bar. One Wednesday night, this guy stumbles in, clearly drunk out of his mind.

Customer: “I want dinner!”

Me: “What it is exactly that you’re after?”

Customer: “Just some f****** chicken, vegetables, and gravy!”

I order him exactly that. He pays and sits down to wait with no problems. When it’s ready, he comes to the counter.

Me: “Would you like cutlery?”

Customer: “Yes.”

I pack his meal into a bag with cutlery, napkins, etc. He is just about to leave the store when he looks into the bag and totally loses it, screaming in a store full of customers.

Customer: “What the f*** is this, a plastic knife and fork?! I can’t eat with this; I need real ones for f***’s sake!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, we only have plastic.”

He took his meal out of the bag and launched it over the counter at me. Luckily, he was drunk, so his aim was terrible and he ended up hitting the wall.

As soon as this happened a guy sitting in the dining room grabbed him and pulled him out of the store, and he stumbled away.

One of our food items is breaded mushrooms. A customer orders them, receives them, and then comes up to the counter and complains.

Customer: “These taste like fungus!”

Me: “You’re welcome!”

My fast food job is right by a beach that hosts festivals all the time. One day, after some problems with homeless people abusing the bathroom, we are instructed to only let customers who bought something use it. (I don’t always enforce it for kids, pregnant women, etc.)

One day, the biggest festival of the year is happening, and we are all scrambling to get ready for the rush when the festival ends. (The line out the door often lasts until 2:00 am.) At around 9:00 pm, a man who looks surprisingly like Elton John comes in and asks to use the restroom.

Me: “Of course, although you do need to purchase something first.”

I recommend our cheapest item (under a dollar). He gets super pissed but does eventually buy it.

Probably fifteen minutes later, the man walks up and slaps a $100 dollar bill onto the counter.

Man: “This is for the rest of the customers tonight to use the bathroom. You’re a bad person and should feel bad.”

Then, he walked out the door.

My manager told me that I could take the money as a tip, but I decided to split it with the rest of the crew. We did end up letting most people use the bathroom without paying simply because of how busy that night was.

My family and friends enjoy fast food, and one particular burger place is a staple. There are several locations around us, but the most convenient one is just up the street. That location is cursed. Random things always happen whenever we go there. I once had a gentleman knock on my window while I was ordering and ask if I liked my car. You get the drift.

My girlfriend and I arrive at around 8:00 pm one night to purchase food. It is right around a specific Irish holiday, and the restaurant is selling a milkshake that is green and minty. I order one to try it as I have not had one in a very long time.

When we pull up to the window to pay, the cashier repeats the order back to us. She stops at the milkshake and exclaims:

Cashier: “UGH, you drink this? It is disgusting!”

Me: *A bit taken aback* “Not yet, but I wanted to try it. Is it that bad?”

Cashier: “I drank a shot of the syrup earlier and it was disgusting.”

Me: *Stunned* “That is concentrated mint! Of course it is going to taste like crap.”

Cashier: *Handing me our food* “Oh. I guess that makes sense. Maybe I will have to try it normal.”

I just shook my head and left.

The shake tasted like crap, by the way, which is odd because I love mint.