A Paltry Understanding Of Poultry

| Alabaster, AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Language & Words

Customer: “Egg and cheese. That’s poultry, right?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Poultry. Poultry means vegetarian, right?”

Me: “Um, sometimes vegetarians eat poultry and animal products. It just depends on the person.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. People are just changing all of this political correctness and I don’t know what things mean anymore. You’ll ask stupid questions when you’re my age and people change what words mean.”

Fresh Coffee With An Extra Shot Of Crazy

, | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Me: “Hi, I’m [Name]. I’d be happy to take your order!”

Customer: *on a cell phone* “…I know! I can’t believe it! I told him I just want that d*** whore out of my house!” *continues conversation*

Me: “Ma’am? May I help you?”

Customer: “Is your coffee fresh?”

Me: “Not at the moment, but I’d be happy to start you a fresh pot!”

Customer: “WHAT? I’m on OXYGEN! I don’t want to DIE!”

Me: *confused* “Ma’am? It wouldn’t affect—”

(The customer drives around to the window.)

Me: “So you did want the coffee, then?”

Customer: “Sorry about that! You didn’t hear any of that conversation did you?”

Me: “Well, yes, ma’am. Every employee with a headset can hear everything said at the speaker.”

Customer: *pays for her coffee* “OH! I’m so sorry, honey; I just want that d*** whore out of my house!”

(The customer got her coffee and drove away. The rest of us were left scratching our heads as witnesses to the level of crazy that just left.)

Yellow Asparagus Will Make You Quite Green

, | MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Me: “Okay, what kind of veggies would you like on your sandwich?”

Customer: “I’ll take lettuce, spinach, olives, and asparagus.”

Me: “Uh, we don’t have asparagus.”

(Her tone suddenly becomes very snide and she points at a bin of vegetables.)

Customer: “Well, what do you call that then?”

Me: “…banana peppers.”

Customer: “So that’s not yellow asparagus?”

Me: “I’m pretty sure if we sold yellow asparagus we’d be shut down. Asparagus is green.”

Customer: *embarrassed* “Well, I’m sure a lot of people make that mistake.”

Me: “Nope.”