Giving Them Notice Is The Maine Thing

| Bangor, ME, USA | Working | August 9, 2016

(I have decided to move back to my hometown, and am giving my manager my notice. It is the beginning of March.)

Me: “I’ll be leaving Maine on April 8th. My last day here can’t be later than April 6th.”

Boss: “That’s not a lot of notice.”

Me: *blinks* “Erm… it’s over a month.”

(I’m not sure how much notice he needed, considering two weeks is standard and I gave double that.)

The Customer Service Is Soda-pressing, Part 2

| ON, Canada | Working | August 8, 2016

(I work from home for an IT company and typically work PST times as that’s where the bulk of my stakeholders are. I live in the EST time zone and as it’s close to Christmas, I decide to take some time in the morning to do errands before the west coast folks are online. It’s about 11:00 am EST and I’m starving so I head into a well-known fast food joint, since it’s on my errand route.)

Me: “Hi, can I please have [Breakfast Wrap] and a small [Diet Soda]?”

Cashier: “A small what?”

Me: “[Diet Soda], please.”

Cashier: “Okay, that’s [total].”

Worker #2: “[Cashier], what are you doing? Why are you pouring a soft drink? It’s not even noon yet!” *laughs*

Cashier: “Right? Who in their right mind orders a soft drink in the morning? That’s just weird, right?” *turns to see me still standing there and sputters* “Well, here you are!”

(I was embarrassed beyond belief but held my tongue. I wasn’t about to ruin a 15- to 16-year-old’s day by calling her out but I spent the rest of the day thinking of a million retorts.)

 

No One Is The King Of This Hill

| Oxford, England, UK | Working | August 8, 2016

(I’m in college. I and a group of my friends have headed out to pick up lunch in the centre of town and head into a fast food place. They’re advertising a new burger called “The Big King.” The advertising isn’t very clear as to what it has in it.)

Friend: “Excuse me, what’s in the Big King?”

(The server jolts and looks startled before turning to face into the kitchen.)

Server: *heavily accented* “[Worker #1]! What is Big King?!”

(The person he’s shouting at looks like a deer in headlights, shakes his head, and dashes off.)

Server: “[Worker #2]! What is Big King?!”

(The second person does the same, this time heading through a door in the back and not returning. At this point we’re all exchanging looks.)

Server: “[Worker #3]! What is Big King?!”

(The third person froze solid and didn’t respond. My friend put up his hands and ordered something else. The phrase “What is Big King?!” became a running joke among our whole class.)

The ‘Race’ To Finish The Sandwich

| Kent, England, UK | Right | August 4, 2016

(I work in a sandwich shop that makes sandwiches fresh-to-order in front of the customer. It looks great and customers can choose what they want fresh, but when it gets busy some orders can be chaotic. A customer walks in while the shop is quiet and orders four sandwiches, which I make and put into the toaster for her. While this is going on, a queue begins to form behind her, but she has yet to finish ordering before her first sandwiches are out of the toaster.)

Customer: *moves to the salad bar before she has finished her order*

Me: *finishes the sandwich she had just asked for* “Would you like anything else?”

Customer: “I’ll come back in a minute. I want to do the salad for these first. Just take the next person’s order.”

Me: “I’m afraid I won’t be able to let you jump back into the queue if I start another order.”

(The queue is now reaching the door in our small shop, and I don’t want someone to end up with the wrong sandwich by disrupting the production line.)

Customer: “No, no. Take his order and I will come back and finish mine in a second.”

(I try to explain again, but she is ignoring me. I motion to the manager, who is on the till and has heard the exchange, and he flags someone who was out the back of the shop to follow the woman and finish her order. Thankful, I start the next person’s order.)

Customer: *finishes with her salads, and interrupts the man I am serving* “I need three more sandwiches.”

Coworker: *who was flagged by boss* “Hey, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “No, this lady was doing my order. I want a chicken sandwich.”

Me: *I smile* “I’m afraid I’ve started another order but don’t worry, [Coworker] is going to finish your order for you.”

Customer: *doesn’t say another word to me but finishes order with my coworker*

(As soon as she’s left the shop I get called around the back by my manager. Apparently the woman lodged a complaint against me for racist behaviour [she was black, I’m white] because I had someone else complete her order. He attempted to explain the queue system to her as well, but she seemed unable to grasp what he was saying. Thankfully, my boss laughed it off and just teased me about being racist for a few days afterwards.)

Punpop!

| NC, USA | Related | August 3, 2016

(My parents and I are out at a popular chicken fast food chain; I have lemonade, my mom has coffee, and my dad has soda. We somehow get to the marketing of soda.)

Dad: “So, with the soda business being so flat right now…”

(I burst out laughing. He looks confused briefly but then chuckles.)

Dad: “Oh. I made a joke.”

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