Giving Them The Milk-Shakedown

, | Warwick, RI, USA | Right | March 9, 2016

(I’m taking late night orders at the drive-thru. Two very heavily intoxicated women come through.)

Customer: “We’d like two milkshakes.”

Me: “Apologies. As it is a half hour before we close, our ice cream and shake machine has been shut down and disassembled for the night

Customer: “But we just came from the bar! You can’t do this to us! We need our shakes!”

(After trying to reason with them, my very sarcastic manager takes over.)

Manager: “Well, I suppose we could reassemble the machine, fill it up, wait minutes for the mix to freeze up to make your shakes, and then we can just break it all down again after.”

(Most people would see this as pure sarcasm, but it would seem the women are too far gone to get it.)

Customer: “Thank you! We’ll wait while you do that.”

(My manager gave up, told them to have a great night and took off his headset. They sat there for a few minutes before driving off. Some people don’t take a hint.)

Burst Their Entitlement Bubble

| WI, USA | Friendly | March 5, 2016

(I am a cashier at a fast food restaurant. A mother has come in with two young children: the two kids are sent off to sit in a booth while the mother orders but they’re close enough she can see them while waiting in line. Behind her are a group of high school kids that are loud and have no respect for any of the other customers there. Instead of waiting further back, they’ve gotten as close to the counter as they can, effectively crowding the people ahead of them in line. The following conversation happens when the woman turns to check on her kids and realizes the high schoolers are blocking her view.)

Woman: “All right, I’m going to need you to back up and get out of my personal bubble. Seriously, what do they teach you in schools these days? You’re in my personal bubble and worst of all, I can’t see my kids. Don’t you guys have any concept of personal space? You’re in my bubble.”

High Schooler: *sarcastically* “Personal bubble?”

(The woman turns and stands right in front of the kid, her face inches from his, staring straight at him and following him when he begins to back up.)

Woman: “When I stand right here, this close to you, does this make you feel uncomfortable?”

High Schooler: *suddenly nervous* “Y-yes?”

Woman: “Yeah, it does. That’s a personal bubble. That’s how it feels when you crowd around people. Just wait until you’re old enough and you’re driving your really drunk friend home from the bar. You’ll know what I’m talking about.”

What A Sweet Old Bag

, | UK | Right | March 4, 2016

(During the night shift at the restaurant I work at, a customer pulls up.)

Customer: “I’ll get a cheeseburger, a small [Soda], and some chips, please.”

Me: “Okay, will that be all for today?”

Customer: *deadpan* “Well, could you dip the bag in chocolate? Can you do that?”

(I laugh, because the customer made a direct quote from comedian Tim Hawkins who has a joke about how people never eat healthily at fast food places.)

Me: “I see that you watch Tim Hawkins!”

(There is an awkward silence on the other end of the phone.)

Customer: “Uh… who’s Tim Hawkins?”

Me: “Never mind.”

Customer: “But can you dip the bag in chocolate?”

Me: “No, sir, we can’t.”

(To this day I have no idea whether it was an actual, insane request, or if somebody with a sense of humor decided to mess with my mind.)

A Nugget Of Common Sense

, | Perth, WA, Australia | Working | March 4, 2016

Me: “Hi, can I get two [value meals], twelve nuggets, and two sundaes, please”.

Cashier: “Sorry, we don’t sell twelve nuggets. We only have them in six or ten packs”.

Me: “Okay… Can I get two of the six-pack, then?”

Cashier: *pauses* “Oh… yeah, I guess we could do that.”

A-Salted Yourself

, | USA | Working | March 3, 2016

(I go into a fast food restaurant and place an order that is very standard: their double cheeseburger and French fries. No customization. As I’m waiting for my food, I notice that they are bagging older, limp fries that have been sitting under the warmer. I don’t know what my face looked like, but the cashier must have noticed my distaste.)

Employee: “You know, if you want fresh fries, just ask for them without the salt. You’ll have to wait, but they’ll be fresh, and you can put the salt on yourself.”

Me: “Thanks, man. I’ll do that.”

(I get my order and leave.  A couple of days later I return around the same time, and the same cashier is working, so I get in his line and place my order, asking for the fries without salt. The cashier goes red in the face, and angrily punches in the order.)

Employee: *glaring* “Are you kidding me? You’re like the fifth person to ask for that today. Do you know how much you’re holding up the line just so we can make you your special batch of fries?”.

Me: “Dude, you’re the one who told me to order it that way. If you don’t want people to order fries without salt, stop telling people that is the easiest way to get fresh fries.”

(He immediately starts protesting loudly, as the person next to him turns out to be his manager, and coolly says:)

Manager: “I knew it was you.”

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