King Nephew

| Charleston, SC, USA | Friendly | February 18, 2016

(Since we are in a college town, are open late, and serve fast food, we tend to get a lot of intoxicated students. They’re usually not much of a problem and I like to listen to their drunken conversations as I clean tables around them.)

Drunk Guy #1: “The last time I went to church was for my nephew’s coronation.”

(I stop in my tracks.)

Drunk Guy #2: “…His what?”

Drunk Guy #1: “His… conformation?”

Not A Large Problem To Have

| TX, USA | Working | February 17, 2016

(During a road trip, my mom pulls into a drive-thru to buy my brother and me, ages four and six respectively, something to drink.)

Employee: “Welcome to [Fast Food Place]. May I take your order?”

Mom: “Yes, can I just get two small root beers, please?”

Employee: “Okay, your total is [amount]. Please pull around to the second window.”

(My mom pulls to the window and waits for them to hand us our drinks.)

Employee: *opens window and tries to hand my mom two very large cups* “I’m sorry, ma’am. Root beer doesn’t come in small. It’s still the same price, though.”

A Piercing Number Of Differences

| MI, USA | Working | February 15, 2016

(My workplace has a policy on tattoos, unnatural hair color, and piercings — you can have them as long as they’re not seen while on the clock. I wear longer sleeves under my uniform shirt and tuck my hair into my hat to abide by the rules. One day I go in to pick up my check. They’re very busy, so I wait for the line to die down and a coworker comes out to clean the booths.)

Coworker: *double take* “[My Name]? Is that you? Holy crap!”

Me: “What?”

Coworker: “Wow, I did not recognize you. Sorry. I mean, it’s weird seeing people outside of the uniform, you know? We all look the same behind the counter. I mean, I didn’t even know you had so many ear piercings, or any tattoos at all.”

Me: *laughing* “Yeah, I get it. The other day I went to the movies and saw one of our managers in line and was staring because he was in shorts. It was like spotting a unicorn!”

Coworker: “I like your purple hair, by the way. If you’re here for your check I’ll grab a manager when I go back.”

(A few minutes later the manager appears at the counter with the check envelope. She stops dead and takes me in, in all my tattooed, purple hair, multiple piercings glory.)

Manager: “Do… do you work here?”

Valentine’s Pay

, | Neuquén, Argentina | Right | February 14, 2016

(I’m the customer in this one. It’s Valentine’s Day, and although is not a really celebrated holiday in my country, the company is American. I have already ordered and I’m about to pay when the cashier smiles at me and makes me a question.)

Cashier: “Are you in love?”

(I was rejected by my crush two weeks ago, so the question doesn’t make me happy at all.)

Me: “No, not really…”

Cashier: *bummed* “…I’ll give you the discount anyway. I hate having to ask that.”

Some Customers Can Be Warming

, | San Francisco, CA, USA | Right | February 13, 2016

(Usually when the drive-thru gets busy we send an order-taker outside with a tablet to get orders in faster. Around winter time, the temperature drops lower than Californians are used to and on one particular day, it drops below 50°F. They send me out to take orders and I think it isn’t that cold so I just have my short sleeve uniform shirt and pants.)

Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

Customer: “I’m okay, but isn’t it really cold for you?”

Me: “I’m actually not that cold. What can I get for you today?”

(I take her order, give her the total, and direct her to the first window for payment.)

Me: “All right, have a great day!”

Customer: “You, too! Are you sure you aren’t cold? You can take my jacket!”

Me: “Oh, no, please don’t. I’m fine! Thank you anyway!”

(A few minutes later, I see my manager walk outside towards me with a jacket.)

Manager: “Some lady in the drive thru demanded that I give you a jacket and said it was abuse for making you take orders outside.”

Me: “She tried to give me her own, too. At least she cares more than some of the other customers here.”

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