Children Can Man-age To Listen

, | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

(I’m a female-to-male transgender person who is not on hormones yet; despite this, I don’t have much of a problem with pronoun mistakes. The customer I have is a middle-aged woman and her young son, about six or seven.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How are you today?”

Woman: “I’m good.” *to her son* “Tell the lady what you want!”

Son: “Momma, that’s a man.”

Woman: “Shhh! Don’t say that! You’ll make her feel bad.”

Me: “Actually, he’s right. I am a boy.”

Woman: *ignoring me* “I can see why you’re confused, though.” *to me* “You need to start wearing makeup or something. My son is getting confused!”

Me: “Ma’am, your son is correct.”

Woman: *still ignoring what I’m saying* “And would it kill you to grow your hair out? Everyone’s going to think that you’re a lesbian!”

Me: *getting fed up* “Ma’am. I. Am. A. Man.”

Woman: “Why didn’t you say so?”

Son: “He did. You didn’t listen, mommy.”

Me: “Look, it’s not really a big deal. It happens all the time—”

Woman: “Then grow some facial hair or something! I can’t tell what you are!”

Me: “Um…”

Son: “Mommy, stop being stupid!”

(The son said his order and they checked out. The woman was completely silent after the son’s comment and she booked it out of the store.)

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In Desperate Need Of A Guide

, | Kalix, Sweden | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(I’m working at a small fast food restaurant where we also have some assorted snacks, magazines, and newspapers. An elderly customer walks in.)

Customer: “Oh, this TV-guide is old!”

Me: “It is? Can I take a look? No, it’s the current one, till the fourth of December.”

Customer: “But it came yesterday!”

Me: “Yes, it did.”

Customer: “I don’t want to pay for the day I missed! Remove that day from the price!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t do that.”

Customer: *angrily* “But it’s old! I shouldn’t pay for a day I can’t use!”

Me: “I don’t control what day you buy your TV-guide on…”

(She eventually bought the TV-guide and left in a snit, slamming the door behind her.)

All Meals Come Pre-Blessed

, | USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names, Religion

(At the restaurant I work at all of the employees names are written on a wall. A little girl around the age of six and her dad walk in. While waiting for their food she is reading the names out loud and spots the name Jesus.)

Girl: “Daddy, look, they have Jesus working here! That’s so awesome. Now we don’t have to pray before this meal!”

(Jesus got a chuckle out of this as the dad quickly explained it is a name pronounced ‘hey-Zeus.’)

An Order Of Ice And Fire

, | Hattiesburg, MS, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I am ordering food through the drive-thru:)

Carhop: “Here’s your hot fudge sundae. Sorry, it’s a bit melted.”

Me: “That’s fine.”

Carhop: “And here’s your molten cake sundae. Sorry, it’s a bit melted as well.”

Me: “Well, it’s got hot fudge.”

Carhop: “Yeah, but people complain a lot that the ice cream doesn’t look a certain way.”

Me: *sarcastically* “How dare you mix hot and cold because I ordered it!”

Chipping Away Until You Get The Answer

, | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(An elderly customer walks into my store.)

Me: “Hi! I can take your order when you’re ready!”

Customer: “I’d like some chips.”

(The customer doesn’t have a noticeable accent so I assume he isn’t from England.)

Me: “We don’t have chips, but would you like fries instead?”

Customer: “No, I’d like some chips!”

(The elderly customer then points to the chocolate chip cookies we have sitting out front.)

Customer: “You know what I want! I want chips!”

Me: “Oh, you mean chocolate chips!”

Customer: “No! Chips!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand. If you’d like I can get my manager and see if he knows what you’re talking about?”

Customer: “I don’t want your manager! I want chips! You know they’re like chips of chicken!”

Me: “Oh, you mean chicken nuggets?”

Customer: “Yes! There you go! Chicken chips! See, I told you, you had chips!”

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