Stupidity That Defies Explanation

, | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a fast food restaurant as a cashier. A grumpy old man approaches my counter with a voucher.)

Me: “Good morning. How can I help?”

Customer: “I’ll have a bacon and egg muffin with a coffee, and I have a voucher.”

(I take the voucher and ring it up at the discounted price.)

Me: “That’ll be £1.99, please.”

Customer: “What?” *complete with a puzzled/angry expression*

Me: “That’ll cost you one pound and 99 pence, sir.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I want to use this voucher, for a free coffee.”

Me: “Yes, with the voucher that costs £1.99.”

Customer: “No, no.”

Me: “Yes, it does, sir. The voucher is for a ‘free coffee with the purchase of a muffin.’ The bacon egg muffin is £1.99, and that’s all you’re paying so the coffee is free.”

Customer: “NO, I want a BACON AND EGG MUFFIN, and I want to use this voucher for a free coffee.”

Me: *at a loss for words* “Well… yeah, that’s fine, but it will cost you £1.99.”

Customer: “No, I’m not following you. You’ve lost me.”

Me: “Okay. You want a bacon egg muffin, and a coffee, yeah?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Right, and you have a voucher. It says if you BUY a muffin, the coffee is free, yeah?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Okay. So you must buy the muffin, which costs £1.99—”

Customer: “—no! I want to use the voucher.”

Me: “I’m sorry but I can’t explain it any more simply than that. The voucher says you need to buy a muffin to get a free coffee.”

Customer: “You’ve lost me; I want to speak to someone else.”

(I find my manager, who comes to my aid.)

Manager: “Hi, what was it you wanted?”

Customer: “I want a bacon and egg muffin and a coffee with this voucher!”

Manager: “Okay that’ll be £1.99 please.”

(The customer hands over £1.99 with no qualms! I can finally serve the idiot.)

Customer: *in a condescending tone* “That wasn’t difficult now, was it?”

Me: *in an even more condescending tone* “Nope, it really wasn’t.”

Should Have Put A Lid On It

, | FL, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(The customer enters the restaurant and looks confused. I take his order and notice he often mumbles words to himself. Once he is done ordering I hand him his cups which he goes to fill up and once he comes back, I notice he has a lid on only one cup.)

Me: “Sir, do you need a lid for that second drink?”

Customer: *thinks for a moment* “Nah, I already blew my lid this morning.” *walks away*

Putting The Green Into The Machine

, | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(The customer orders her food and starts to drive off before the total was told.)

Employee: “The total will be $10.27.”

Customer: *muffled, because she’s pulled forward* “Did you received my $20.”

Employee: “I’m sorry.”

Customer: *still muffled* “Did you get my $20?”

Employee: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Could you please pull up to the first window and we’ll take care of it?”

(The customer pulls up to the drive thru window.)

Customer: “I was asking if you received my $20. I put it in the machine.”

Employee: *trying not to laugh* “Ma’am, we don’t have a machine. We take cash at the window.”

Customer: “Oh, I guess my money is outside, then.”

(One of the employees was sent out to get the customer’s money from the drive thru speaker.)