Yellow Asparagus Will Make You Quite Green

, | MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Me: “Okay, what kind of veggies would you like on your sandwich?”

Customer: “I’ll take lettuce, spinach, olives, and asparagus.”

Me: “Uh, we don’t have asparagus.”

(Her tone suddenly becomes very snide and she points at a bin of vegetables.)

Customer: “Well, what do you call that then?”

Me: “…banana peppers.”

Customer: “So that’s not yellow asparagus?”

Me: “I’m pretty sure if we sold yellow asparagus we’d be shut down. Asparagus is green.”

Customer: *embarrassed* “Well, I’m sure a lot of people make that mistake.”

Me: “Nope.”

The Kind Of Customer We Want

, | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I pull in to a local fast food drive-thru.)

Clerk: *through the speaker* “Hello and thanks for choosing [Company]. What will it be today?”

Me: *I’ve already decided, so I give my order with no hesitation* “I’ll have [order] with a [drink].”

Clerk: *playfully with a sassy tone* “All right! A man who knows what he wants.”

(We finish the order process. I pull around and wait my turn, several cars deep, before I finally get to the window.)

Clerk: “Hey! It’s the man who knows what he wants.”

Me: *jokingly* “I’ve changed my mind.”

Clerk: “Noooooooooo….”

Don’t Be Tardy With The Tardis Drink

, | Ypsilanti, MI, USA | Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I want a large chocolate shake, and can I still get burgers this late?”

Me: “Absolutely.”

Customer: “Great! I want the grilled onion cheddar burger, but no cheese.”

Me: “So just the onions on the burger?”

Customer: “Yeah, sorry to be so complicated.”

Me: “It’s no problem, and honestly it’s not that bad. You’d be surprised at the kind of requests I get through here. Can I get anything else for you today?”

Customer: *joking* “I’d like a large coke in a small cup to go.”

Me: “Aw, I wish I could, but unfortunately our cups don’t have Time Lord technology, so they aren’t bigger on the inside.”