Many years ago, I worked at a restaurant that had soft-serve ice cream items on the menu. I worked the drive-thru window and also made all the ice cream items and the cold drinks.

The restaurant closed at 10:00 pm, and all the workers except the cook had to be out of there by 10:30 pm as the owner wouldn’t pay us past that time. In order to clean the soft-serve machine and be done by 10:30 pm, we had to turn the machine off at 9:30 pm; we emptied and cleaned the soft-serve machine every night. You could still get ice cream out of it for about fifteen minutes, but anything after that was liquid.

One night, two teens came in just before 10:00 pm. The server brought me their order.

Server: “They’d like two hot fudge sundaes.”

Me: “The ice cream machine is off, and we can’t serve anything that has ice cream in it.”

The server left and came back.

Server: “They’d like two milkshakes.”

Me: “Milkshakes have ice cream in them. I can’t make anything that has ice cream.”

The server left and came back.

Server: “They’d like two vanilla cones.”

The teens finally left without ordering anything, which was good because, by that time, the cook had also turned off the grill.

I think the teens really wanted ice cream, but I am still amazed that the server apparently had no idea which menu items had ice cream in them.

I work at a lunch counter, and we sell two brands of bottled water.

Customer: “Excuse me. Could I have a diet water, please?”

Me: “Uh… we have [Brand #1] and [Brand #2]; do you have a preference?”

Customer: “Whichever one has no calories. I’ve heard water can be super filling.”

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H2-D’oh!, Part 9
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H2-D’oh!, Part 6
H2-D’oh!, Part 5

A lady comes through my drive-thru and orders a few [Burgers] and a [Chicken Sandwich]. [Burgers] come with pickles, onions, ketchup, mustard, and cheese, and she wants to add lettuce, tomato, and bacon. She also adds cheese to the [Chicken Sandwich].

Me: “That’ll be $10.64.”

Customer: *With a look of complete, utter disgust* “What?! Why is my order so much?”

I read off her order, including the extra costs for bacon, lettuce, tomato, and cheese, plus the tax. She is still confused. She just cannot wrap her mind around the idea that when you put extra stuff on the sandwich, it costs more. She even sees the extra costs on the little screen in the drive-thru.

Customer: “I refuse to pay that.”

I have to get my manager over to deal with it. Eventually, the customer just uses the old-standby excuse:

Customer: “Well, at my other [Fast Food Chain], they don’t charge me.” *Drives off*

I work in a fish and chip shop. A local lady comes in.

Me: “Hey, how ar—”

Customer: “How much are the four-dollar chips?”

I show her a basket of chips.

Me: “About this much and about half a scoop more.”

Customer: “No, how much are the four-dollar chips?”

Me: “…um, four dollars?”

Customer: “Well, there’s no reason to be f****** rude about it!” *Storms off*

I noticed she only had three dollars in her hand. She also could have bought three dollars’ worth of chips.

I work at a fast food place. There’s a severe thunderstorm watch, so even though several of us have recently gone off shift, we’re still sticking around because we don’t want to drive home in a storm.

It’s eerily quiet outside: no wind, no rain, hot, and extremely humid. We decide that it’s probably tornado weather.

Sure enough, the severe thunderstorm warning is upgraded to a tornado watch. Still, it’s absolutely silent. A couple more customers filter in and we start making food for them.

Then, the storm hits. It’s extremely sudden. Abruptly, it’s just raining sideways. Water is battering against the glass of the windows. A cherry red stop sign slaps against the windows and is held against them by the force of the wind.

An order comes up on the computer for [Delivery App].

Without much else to do, we make it. The power starts flickering, but our grill is gas, and the computer’s backup battery keeps it from shutting down. We make the burger.

The wind direction changes and the stop sign drops off of the window abruptly, landing on the pavement. Then, it pinwheels away to possibly alert someone else to the deteriorating conditions.

A car pulls up in front of the store. The wind is so strong that the car can’t pull directly forward; instead, it slides sideways as it pulls forward. The driver gets out. It’s the [Delivery App] guy and he wants to pick up the burger.

We beg him to stay. The tornado watch is still in effect for nearly thirty more minutes. He shakes his head and grabs the burger bag, and before we can say anything else, he vanishes into the storm.

The story doesn’t end there. Eventually, the wind dies down. It’s still raining like crazy. There’s a huge puddle around the joint, and it’s starting to leak inside under the walls.

One of the customers takes off his shoes. He takes off his socks… and puts them on the table. He takes the inserts out of his shoes… and puts them on the table. He takes the inner sole things out of the shoes… and puts them on the table. He puts his shoes back on. He then puts all of these things into his pocket and walks out to his car.

I get the strong stuff to clean his table with.

When I leave for the night, management is talking about shutting down for a few days for sanitation reasons because of the water coming in through the walls. Apparently, the insulation needs to be taken out and dried before it can mold. I am told not to come in tomorrow and that they’ll have a spot for me in the rotation of another nearby place in the same chain by Monday.