Must Be On A Naughty Diet

, | MI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I’ve just started a job at a certain Canadian coffee shop franchise. It’s my first job, and I’m still learning how to deal with people and learning the items we sell.)

Customer: “I’d like a naughty donut, please.”

Me: *pause* “What kind of donut?”

Customer: “A naughty donut.”

(I entered in ‘assorted donut’ and he pays. My coworker comes up and reads the screen, going over to the donut section.)

Coworker: “Hi, sir, what type of donut did you want?”

Customer: “A naughty one.”

Coworker: “Um… what kind?”

Customer: *points* “A Peanut Crunch.”

Me: “Oh, a NUTTY donut!”

I’m Driving Thru For Christmas

, | Vernon, BC, Canada | Hall of Fame, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(We close on Christmas Eve at 3:00 pm, and all employees get the duration of Christmas to spend with their family. It’s 3:20, and we’ve closed the lobby, and are letting all the customers who were in the drive-thru line before 3:00 through. It’s going decently, despite our lack of stock, until the last car.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Fast Food Chain]. What can I get for you?”

Young Man: “Hi, I’d like a medium Iced Capp, and an everything bagel, toasted, with cream cheese.”

Me: “Unfortunately, the Iced Capp machine is shut down, as we’re closing for Christmas Eve, and we’re all out of the everything bagel.”

Young Man: “WHAT!? This is completely unacceptable! You can’t just shut everything down! What time do you close!?”

Me: “Twenty minutes ago. There should be a sign under the speaker box.”

Young Man: “Uh… oh.”

Me: “Yeah… Is there anything else I can get for you?”

Young Man: “Uh… no, sorry.”

Me: “Well, have a good one.”

(The young man drives off and I take off my headset, foolishly believing that I had hit my stupid person quota for the day.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], can you finish taking out the trash?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I head out back with the last couple of trash bags, and take the lot of them to the dumpster across the parking lot. As I’m returning, I see a car, trying to drive over the curb and around the pylon barrier blocking the drive-thru that my manager had set up. I approach the vehicle.)

Me: “Uh, hello? Whatcha up to?”

Young Woman: “Oh, uh, hi. Yeah, I was wondering if you could like, move these cone-thingys. They’re blocking the drive-thru.”

Me: “Well, that’s because the drive-thru is closed. The whole store is closed so everyone can spend the holidays with their families.”

Young Woman: “Wow, that’s like, weird. How are people supposed to know the drive-thru is closed?”

Me: “Well if the large, orange pylons in front of the entrance are too subtle a hint, there’s also the sign taped to that middle one that says that the drive-thru is closed.”

Young Woman: “Oh, wow! I didn’t read that!”

Me: “Literacy is a beautiful thing.”

Young Woman: “…Huh?”

Me: “Never mind. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

(I walked back inside to finish cleaning and wondered about the bleak future of humanity.)

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Christmas Is Spoiled For The Spoiled Customer

, | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a fast food coffee and doughnut shop. Every year at Christmas we would be the only location within our area that remained open. This year the owners decide it isn’t worth keeping the location open. On Christmas Eve one of our regulars comes through the drive thru.)

Customer: “It is really unfair that you guys have to work the holidays. You should be at home with your families.”

Coworker: “Actually, we are closing this year, so we get to enjoy the holidays as well.”

Customer: “Wait, you are closing? What am I going to do? I need you guys to give me a coffee! How am I going to get through the day without a coffee?”

Coworker: “Have you ever thought of making it at home?”

Customer: “No! I can’t do that. It’s too much work! You need to make my coffee.”

Coworker: “Well, unfortunately, we won’t be here, so you will have to either go without for a day or make your own.”

Customer: “That’s not fair! What do you expect me to do?”

(She then drove off in a huff, and came in a couple days later complaining we ruined her Christmas because she couldn’t get a coffee.)

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Not So Fast Food

, | TX, USA | Food & Drink, Time

(The district manager of the fast food chain is in the building making sure everything is up to standards, so the store manager is a bit tense. I am working on the drive-thru window, where we have a target time of 90 seconds from starting the order to delivering the food. A driver pulls up to the order box.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Uh… I’d like a… hmm, number… three? And… uh, no pickles on that.”

Me: “All right, number three with no pickles. What would you like to drink?”

Customer: “Umm, make it… a, uh… Sprite. No, wait. Uh, do you have… diet Sprite?”

Me: *eyeing my timer and wishing he’d hurry up* “No, sorry. Is regular Sprite okay?”

Customer: “No, change it to… a Coke.”

Manager: “[My Name], timer’s ticking.”

Me: “So I have a number three, no pickles, Coke to drink. Will that be all for you today?”

Customer: “No, no, I’m not done. I also want… a number…” *trails off and starts talking to someone else in the car* “…a number nine.”

Me: “And the drink with that?”

Manager: “You’re usually good on the drive through, but if you don’t hurry this up you’ll be in trouble.”

(I mouth ‘sorry!’ at him.)

Customer: “A milkshake to drink.”

Me: “Yes, sir, which flavor?”

Customer: “Uh… chocolate? No, not chocolate… Umm… Strawberry. Yeah, strawberry.”

Me: “Anything else?”

Customer: “Uh…”

Manager: “What is taking you so long?!”

(He grabs a headset to listen in on the order.)

Customer: “I want a… uh… kid’s meal. With… uh… hmm… chicken nuggets.”

Me: “And the drink for that one, sir?”

Customer: “Ummm…”

Manager: *with his headset muted* “…Oh. Carry on.”

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Ignoring Those Nuggets Of Information

, | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(At our restaurant we serve a nugget meal, which comes with 8 or 12 nuggets. It’s the #5, but many people order a #8 or #12, wanting the nuggets. When they order a #12, it’s pretty easy to catch the error, as we don’t have a #12, but the #8 gets mixed up a lot with the actual #8, which is a grilled chicken club sandwich. I make it a habit to double and triple check #8 orders just in case. It happens way more often than I’d like. It’s near closing time, and most of the other employees are cleaning or working the drive-thru. I’m the only one at the register.)

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like the #8 with sweet tea.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be the grilled chicken club meal with a sweet tea?”

Customer: “Um, yeah! That’s what I said!”

Me: “Okay, just double-checking. Your total will be [total].”

Customer: “Why would you need to check? I SAID a #8! What’s so hard?”

Me: “I apologize, sir. Just wanting to make sure it’s right.”

Customer: *getting very irate at what he seems to take as an insult to his intelligence* “Of course it’s right!! WHY WOULDN’T IT BE?”

Me: “Sorry, sir.”

(I finish ringing up his order, give him his drink, and his food, which has just come up.)

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

(I help the next person, then two women step up to my register.)

Lady #1: “Hi, I’d like a #12, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; we don’t have a #12. Did you want the #5 with 12 nuggets instead?”

Lady #1: “Oh, yes! I’m so sorry! Didn’t mean to say that; I guess I was just thinking of the number I wanted and it came out wrong.”

Me: “Don’t worry about it. It’s no problem at all.”

Lady #2: “We’re paying together. I guess I shouldn’t order a #8 if I want nuggets, right?”

(She’s grinning, so I know she’s joking. I laugh.)

Me: “You’d really be surprised how often that happens, honestly—”

(Customer #1 suddenly storms back inside and to my register, cutting in front of the women.)

Customer #1: “You gave me the wrong thing! Why is there a sandwich in here?”

Me: “Sir, if you’ll wait just a minute, I’ll finish this order and then help you, as there are no other customers in line.”

Customer #1: “NO! I am in a hurry and you messed up my order!”

(I already know what his problem is, but I’m not about to help him over the other women who were already at my register.)

Me: “Sir, please wait just a minute, okay?”

Customer #1: *ignoring me* “I ordered a nugget meal and got a sandwich! I demand you fix this for free! How hard is it to get my food right?”

Lady #1: “Oh, go ahead. We’re not in a rush.”

Me: “Are you sure, ma’am?”

Lady #2: “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Me: “Okay. Now, sir, may I have your receipt?”

(He thrusts it in my face.)

Customer #1: “I ordered an #8 and I got this sandwich!”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, the #8 is our chicken club sandwich. I remember taking this order a few minutes ago, and I repeated your order to you to make sure it was right. You did say it was.”

Customer #1: “I wanted the nuggets, idiot! How hard is it to know I wanted the 8 nuggets?”

Me: “I do apologize, sir—”

Customer #1: “Don’t apologize! Fix! It! Now!”

Lady #1: “Sir, you need to calm down. I ordered the wrong thing by accident, too, but I’m not acting like a child about it. If you ordered wrong and told her it was right when she repeated your order, it’s your own fault. Buy the nuggets if you want, but don’t make them give you free food over your own mistake.”

Lady #2: “And you’d better hurry if you’re in such a rush.”

Customer #1: “Fine! Do you sell the nuggets by themselves?”

(We do, and I ring up his order. He leaves in a huff after getting his nuggets.)

Lady #1: “You weren’t kidding about people mixing those combos up, honey!”

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