Need To Reroute This Transaction

, | Hokes Bluff, AL, USA | Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I hear my coworker, who is somewhat new, reading our entire list of drinks off to a customer over the speaker. I go over to see what is going on, and hear this.)

Customer: “I want a ‘route 44!'”

Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, and what would you like to drink?”

Customer: “A ‘route 44!'”

Coworker: “What kind? We have—” *reads off drinks again*

Customer: *angry* “A ‘ROUTE 44!'”

Coworker: *to me* “I don’t know what to do. She’s just not getting it.”

Me: *to Coworker* “They need you over there. I’ll take over here.” *to Customer* “Hi ma’am, what can I get you to drink with your order?”

Customer: “Oh, my god. I WANT A ‘ROUTE 44!'”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but a route 44 what?”

Customer: *screaming* “A ROUTE 44 LARGE! I WANT A ROUTE 44 LARGE!”

Me: “Ma’am, route 44 is a size. What would you like to drink?”

Customer: *pauses, mutters something to another person in the car* “I want a route 44 Coke…”

Taking Action On The Distraction

, | Estado de México, Mexico | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I’m the customer in this story. I’ve come to the mall and on the way out I visit a stall that makes crêpes.)

Me: “Yeah, I’d like a ham with manchego one, please.”

Worker: *Inputs the order in the computer* “Would you like chipotle or jalapeño, sir?”

(I’ve wandered into my own thoughts and don’t listen.)

Worker: “Sir?”

Me: *snapping back* “Uh?”

Worker: “Chipotle or jalapeño, sir?”

Me: “Yes.”

(The worker stares at me awkwardly and then I realize what I just said.)

Me: “Sorry, sorry! Chipotle, please.”

(The rest of the transaction goes without any trouble and then they proceed to make the crêpe.)

Worker: “You tell me how much chipotle do you want, sir.”

(I look at her dabbing a little of the stuff and then adding more and more.)

Worker: “Uh… are you distracted again?”

Me: “Not this time. I just like it spicy.”

Bird Is The Word

, | Montgomery, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Religion

(I am working the drive thru on a Sunday, a time when we have a lot of regular customers after church lets out. I recognize a man from last Sunday.)

Me: “Hey, I remember you from the other day!”

Customer: “That’s right! You have a good memory! I like to hear the word and eat the bird!”

Needs Some Light Soul Food

, | CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I am working the drive thru of the store very early in the morning.)

Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Store], what could I get for you today?”

Customer: “Just a small coffee.”

Me: “How will you take your coffee today?”

Customer: “Black, just like my soul.”

Me: “… okay?”

A Trashy Pick Up Line

, | Canada | One-Liners, Rude & Risque

(I am in my teens, taking out the garbage. One of our regular customers, an elderly man who is a well-known jokester, comes up to me at the end of his meal. I’m switching out the trash bag.)

Elderly Man: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Taking out the trash.”

Elderly Man: “Well, I’m trash. Can you take me out?”

(I laugh into the garbage can.)

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t, but I’ll have to remember that one. It’s good!”

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