(I am working the day before Christmas Eve. Our management has been pressing us to say ‘Happy Holidays’ so that people don’t get offended. However, sometimes I would slip up and say ‘Merry Christmas’ because of habit. I am also Wiccan, and therefore do not follow Christian practices.)

Me: “Here is your order! Have a nice day, and Merry Christmas!”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Um… here is your order?”

Customer: “No, what you just said. You just wished me a Merry Christmas.”

Me: “Yes… yes, I did?”

Customer: “How dare you! What if I didn’t believe in Christ! Do you know how offensive that would have been?! What if I was Jewish or Atheist?! You have really offended me! What do you have to say for yourself?!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I do apologize if I offended you. However, I don’t believe in Christ. I’m Wiccan. But I still celebrate Christmas because it’s a beautiful family holiday.”

(The customer goes quiet for a moment. All of a sudden she starts yelling.)

Customer: “How can you not believe in Christ?! He died for your sins on the cross! Do you have any idea what Christmas is about! It’s not about family; it is about the birth of Jesus! How dare you! I will never eat here again!”

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(I have rung up a customer, and I hand her the food. She is getting ready to drive away.)

Me: “Have a happy Thanksgiving!”

Customer: *yelling fairly loudly* “Well, that was rude! It’s ‘Happy Holidays.’ Saying Thanksgiving is politically incorrect! Stupid girl!”

This story is part of our Thanksgiving roundup!

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(I work for a small, privately-owned fast food chain, and we often receive many questions about our food and what goes into each item. I notice a man that ordered a few moments ago is lingering at the counter trying to look into the back. I excuse myself and approach him.)

Me: “Did you have any questions, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, what do you put in your fries?”

Me: “Our fries?”

Customer: “Your fries. What do you put in them?”

Me: “Well, we salt them, but that’s—”

Customer: “No! What do you put in the fries?!”

Me: “Um… potatoes?”

Customer: “Do you have a manager? Where is your manager?!”

(My manager comes up to the counter to see what is wrong.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

(By now, the customer is speaking loud enough for the whole dining room to hear him.)

Customer: “What do you put in your fries?!”

Manager: “…I’m sorry?”

Me: “I think he wants to know what the ingredients for the fries are.”

Customer: “Yes! What do you put in the fries?”

Manager: “Potatoes.”

(The customer points in a very angry manner toward the back of the kitchen where we cook the fries.)

Customer: “No! I want to know it says on that box of what you put in your fries! Bring me that box, RIGHT NOW!”

Manager: “Sir, I’m not allowed to bring it to the front. Now, please…”

(After a minute or two of talking with my manager, the man seems to quiet down. I figure everything has been resolved and began chatting with the pair of customers from earlier. Soon, the irate customer receives his food and starts walking out of the store.)

Me: “Thank you for coming to [restaurant].”

Customer: “I’M GOING TO GIVE THIS TO MY SON EVEN IF YOU WON’T TELL ME WHAT’S IN IT!” *leaves*

(The chain restaurant I work for makes kid’s meals. They’re composed of a four-inch sandwich, a milk, soda, or juice box to drink, and apple slices, a cookie, or a bag of chips for a side. If the kid or parent wants something a tad different, we can always fudge the order a little. However, we can not stick a larger sandwich in instead of the four inch.)

Customer: “Okay, I’d like a six-inch kid’s meal, please.”

Boss: “I’m sorry, but the kid’s meals are only four-inch subs. You can get a six inch and make it a meal with a milk and apples instead however.”

Customer: “That’s fine. I’ll pay extra for the six inch, then.”

(I make the customer’s order and proceed to ring her through. Since it’s busy and I don’t want to cause issues, I throw in the reusable bag and toy for free, and don’t charge extra for the milk.)

Me: “Okay, that will be [price].”

Customer: *stares at me* “Why is it so expensive?”

Me: “Well the six inch is [price], but since you said you wanted to treat it like a kid’s meal, I didn’t charge extra for the milk and threw in the bag without charge.”

Customer: “But I’m confused. I’m looking at the menu and it says the kid’s meal is less than that. Why are you charging me so much?”

Me: “Because you got a six inch instead.”

Customer: “Whatever. I guess that’s fine. It’s just no one explained this to me. I’m so used to paying less! I mean, I come here all the time and you let me get a six inch kids meal for the price of a four inch one. So, why is this different?”

Boss: “Because whenever people order a six inch, they get to the register and declare they’re getting a kid’s meal. We don’t want to cause friction, so we just charge it as such. However, she heard you order.”

Me: “I can charge it as a four inch sandwich, just this once.”

Customer: “FINE! Now I know, I guess. I just hate paying so much!”

(I am working on drive-thru at a major fast food restaurant.)

Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]. Please place your order.”

Customer: “Can I have a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin?”

Me: “So, two bacon and egg muffins.”

Customer: “No… I want a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

Me: “Umm… so, two bacon and egg muffins?

Customer: “No!”

Me: “You just said you want a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

Customer: “I want a bacon muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

Me: “So, two bacon and egg muffins, one without egg.”

Customer: “No! Just give me two bacon and egg muffins.”

Me: *gives up* “…Sure. That will just be $7.30 at the first window.”