Peppered With Inequality

| Evansville, IN, USA | Right | October 7, 2016

(I am working in the drive-thru for a rather popular fast food joint.)

Me: “Welcome to [Store]! What can I get you?”

Customer: “I’ll have a [Combo Number] with a [static garble] and a [name of soda that has a Ph.D.].

Me: “All right, one [Combo] with a Dr. [Soda]. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Well, you can call it that.”

Me: “What did you mean, ‘You can call it that’?”

Customer: “I call it Nurse [Soda] ‘cause nurse is the female form of doctor. Girl Power!”

Me: “You know there are female doctors, right?”

H2-Slow, Part 2

| York, England, UK | Working | October 5, 2016

(I’m ordering lunch in a greasy take-away, but as I don’t like fizzy drinks I usually order a bottle of water with the meal deal instead of the cup of fizzy drink.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like the two-piece chicken meal with a bottle of water, please.”

Cashier: “We don’t serve bottles with the meal deal, only the cups.”

Me: *thinking they might now have a water dispenser, or are serving tap water* “Oh, okay. I’ll have a cup of water, then?”

Cashier: *proceeds to start filling a cup with [Soda #1] from the machine*

Me: “Uh, no. Not [Soda #1], water.”

Cashier: “We don’t do water, only [Soda #1].”

Me: “What? Yes, you do! You’ve got bottles of water in there!” *points to the fridge where the water bottles are plainly visible*

Cashier: *takes out a bottle of [Soda #1]* “No, see? It’s [Soda #1].”

Me: *pointing and getting exasperated* “NO, the WATER is THERE, above it!”

Cashier: “But… water is [Soda #2]?”

Me: *dumbfounded staring*

Cashier: *realisation hits* “OH! You want WATER!” *gets me a bottle of water*

(I have no idea what the confusion was about, as we both pronounced water the same way. I can only assume he was having a long day and isn’t used to people ordering water with their greasy food.)

 

A Shift In Their Behavior

| USA | Working | October 4, 2016

(Coworker #1 and I are very good friends. Our way of showing our love for each other tends to be very sarcastic, and playfully “violent,” in manner. Usually we work the morning shift together, and our other coworkers have long since gotten used to our behavior. This particular day, however, I have worked the lunch shift and Coworker #1 is working dinner, so our paths are crossing at three pm among coworkers who have never worked with both of us together.)

Coworker #1: “[My Name]! I haven’t seen you in forever!” *steps on my toes* “Why did you abandon me?”

Me: *extricates my foot and lightly kicks her ankle* “Uh uh. You abandoned me. And I was glad, anyway. I didn’t want to see you.”

Coworker #1: “Well, fine. I’d have ended up having to pick up all your slack, loser. At least now I can work in peace.”

Me: “Ugh. You’re so annoying. I hate you.”

Coworker #1: “Well, I hate you, too. So there.” *smacks me lightly on the arm and turns to put her purse in the lockers*

(We both turn around to find all coworkers in earshot staring at us in shock. I think the only reason they believed our explanation was that they all knew either one or both of us separately, so they knew we weren’t mean people!)

Some Prefer Their Customers Toothless

| TN, USA | Right | October 4, 2016

(I work as a shift leader at a well known fast food restaurant. As part of my duties, whenever a customer calls with a complaint or question, I do my absolute best to try and resolve it. Sometimes though, that can mean going to surprising lengths.)

Me: “[Restaurant], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes. Would you go check your play area?”

Me: “Sure! Do you mind my asking what I’m looking for?”

Caller: “I think I left a… parcel in there, wrapped up in a napkin.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Did you say a ‘parcel’?”

Caller: “Yes!”

(Even though our customers are generally better than most, we still have the occasional drug addict or homeless person wander in. At the word “parcel,” my mind immediately suggests either heroin or marijuana.)

Me: “All right, ma’am. One moment, please.”

(I take a quick look through our kids area, but the “parcel” wrapped in napkins is nowhere to be found.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t see anything.”

Caller: *sighs* “Well, would you look through the trash, then? I wouldn’t normally bother, but these were very expensive!”

(She still hasn’t told me what I’m looking for yet. Hoping to give her a quick “no”, I start rifling through our very full trash can. I’m about to give her the news when my eye spots a wadded up napkin. I grab it, carefully unwrap it, and lo and behold, it’s a pair of shiny new dentures!)

Me: “All right, ma’am, I think I’ve found it. Is it… um, is it teeth?”

Caller: “YES! Oh, fantastic! I’ll be right over!”

(After vigorously washing my hands, I re-wrap the “teeth” and stash it behind the counter. A tall, weathered looking gentleman walks through the door.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Man: “Actually, I’m…. I hate to say this, but I’m here for the teeth…”

(I smiled, wordlessly picked up the “parcel,” and handed it to him. He left with a skip in his step, and I never saw him again!)

Dating My Sweetea

| NM, USA | Romantic | October 3, 2016

(I overheard this conversation between a couple as I am filling my drink at a fast food restaurant. The guy’s friend has recommended he try root beer mixed with sweet tea.)

Guy: “That was awful.”

Girl: “Why did you even try it?”

Guy: “I don’t know. I’m a film major. I don’t make good life decisions.”

Girl: “Well, I’m dating you, so I guess neither of us makes good life choices.”

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