Please Tell Me Your Code!  

, , , , | Right | September 26, 2019

(I am in line during the middle of the lunch rush during summer so it is crazy busy; the line is all the way to the door. Right after I get in, a guy with a boy about five years old comes in.)

Kid: “I’m gonna go get the salt so we can get hot fries.”

(The guy nods and the kid walks off to the condiment stand.)

Me: *knowing what he is about to do and knowing how much the staff here is going to hate that* “You know there is an easier way than ordering with no salt, right?”

Guy: “What? I’ve been ordering that way for years now and I always get them fresh and hot; ain’t no other way to do it.”

Me: “Yes, there is. Trust me; I used to work fast food. There is a code you use to let the staff know you are a former fast food worker and they always give you freshly salted fries.”

Guy: “Really?”

Me: “Oh, yeah, super-secret, but if you listen in while I order, you’ll hear it. Sometimes you have to wait a few minutes, but you have to wait for the no-salt ones all the time, right?”

Guy: “Yeah, we do, and then the salt don’t taste right.”

(The kid returns and the man tells him that they are about to learn an insider trick to getting fresh fries, with the salt already on them. The kid gets really happy and keeps asking, “Really? Really?” So, by the time I next in line, at least a dozen people are watching and listening to hear the “secret code.”)

Me: *to cashier* “I’ll have an [order], and I’d like fresh fries, please; I don’t mind if I have to wait.”

Cashier: *smiling hugely* “Of course you can. That’ll be [price]. Your number is 42. We’ll call you when the fries are ready.”

Guy: “Wait, I missed it. What was the secret code?”

Me: “Asking for them and saying, ‘please.’”

(Several other people in line started snickering and I’m pretty sure I got extra fries with my order that day.)

1 Thumbs

Fresh In From The Fields Of Blue

, , , , , | Working | September 25, 2019

(I pull up to a fast food restaurant. The menu has three choices for slushies: fruit punch, blue raspberry, and sweet peach.)

Me: “I’d like a medium raspberry slushie.”

Worker: “We don’t got raspberry.”

Me: “Oh, are you out?”

Worker: “We’ve never had raspberry.”

Me: “Do you have the other flavors?”

Worker: “What other flavors?”

Me: “The ones other than raspberry: fruit punch and peach.”

Worker: “We’ve got fruit punch, blue raspberry, and sweet peach.”

Me: “So, you do have the raspberry; that’s what I want.”

Worker: “We don’t have raspberry. You want the blue one?”

Me: *pause* “Yes.”

(I was so tempted to ask her, “So, just what flavor do you think the one with ‘raspberry’ in the name is?” But then I realized that if she didn’t already know that “blue raspberry” is supposed to be raspberry, pointing it out wouldn’t do much good. Or maybe she’s cleverer than I and knows that “blue raspberry” flavoring has nothing in common with actual raspberry?)

1 Thumbs

Tossing About Some One-Liners

, , , , , , | Working | September 25, 2019

(A woman comes in to pick up her order. I realize that her entrees are ready, but whoever took the order neglected to make her side salads.)

Me: “And if you’ll just give me about a minute and a half, I’ll have your salads out. You’re welcome to have a seat while you wait.”

Customer: “No problem!”

(I move over to the salad bar, about fifteen feet behind the register, but still visible. I quickly make her salads and close the plastic containers. As I’m bagging them, one slips out of my hands and flips over into the tray of lettuce. Still wearing gloves, I quickly grab it and finish bagging, hoping nobody saw my fumble. I turn to the register, where I see she is still standing.)

Customer: “One almost got away, huh?” *chuckles*

Me: *feeling my face get warm* “I like to consider it ‘a free upgrade to a tossed salad!’”

(She laughed as she thanked me and left. About a week later, she called again and asked for a “tossed salad” upgrade with her dinner.)

1 Thumbs

A Hot Cup Of Nothing

, , , , , | Working | September 24, 2019

I am on my way to an event and decide to stop at a fast food restaurant to pick up a coffee for myself and one for someone I am meeting at the event. I am about ten minutes early, so I figure I have plenty of time to use the drive-thru.

I place my order, then pay, and then go to the pick-up window. The person there asks me to park in a numbered space reserved for drive-thru customers. I figure they are making more coffee or some such. So, I wait, listening to music in my car and playing on my phone. After several songs have played, I realize that it has been ten minutes, and I am now going to be late.

I walk in and ask about my order. There is frantic commotion behind the counter, and I am told that my coffee isn’t ready. They are cleaning the coffee maker… which will take another thirty minutes.

For coffee.

She does ask if there is anything else she can get me, but I just ask for a refund, which I get.

I wind up late for my event and have to apologize to my friend for not bringing coffee. Fortunately, we’re still friends.

1 Thumbs

Unfiltered Story #167659

, , , | Unfiltered | September 24, 2019

As is quite common with a lot of places, our store doesn’t accept $100 bills. I’m used to people being upset or using the “legal tender” argument.

Customer: *tries to hand me a $100 bill*

Me: “I’m sorry, do you have anything smaller, or perhaps debit or credit? Unfortunately we don’t accept $100’s”

Customer: “well why the fuck not? It’s legal tender!”

Me: *having recently looked up the law surrounding legal tender* “this is true, the note is legal tender. However, payment of a debt must be made in a form that is mutually agreeable to both parties. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: “but it’s legal tender!

This happens far too often.