They Were Nun The Wiser

, , , | Right | June 19, 2018

(This day, everything is going wrong: employees are missing, orders are long, we have several rude customers, I have no time for a break, and we are in the middle of our rush hour. I’m taking orders and taking inventory in the back when my supervisor runs up to me.)

Supervisor: “Give me your headset; a customer’s car broke down in front of the pickup window. Can you and [Employee] please help move it?”

Me: “Are you f****** kidding? What else can go wrong?”

(To make it outside, I pass the pickup window. Uncontrollably cursing under my breath, I take a look outside to see who had the balls to have a junk car break down and expect us to move it. I see three extremely elderly nuns and one middle-aged nun in complete habit attire smiling from their van.)

Nun: “I’m so sorry.”

Me: *shocked* “No problem, ma’am. Let’s just get you over here.”

(Another employee and I push the car out of the way of the window — refusing their offer to get out — and made sure they got help from a nearby auto store. The nuns thank us profusely, give us their blessings, and ride away.)

Me: “Before I knew who they were, I cursed them for their car breaking down.”

Employee: “Oh, yeah. Me, too.”

Me: “We’re going to Hell.”

What Would You Like To Drunk And Disorder Today?

, , , , , | Right | June 19, 2018

(I’m working grill when a car pulls up to the drive-thru speaker.)

Coworker: “Welcome to [Restaurant]; how may I help you?”

Customer: *slurring and stuttering* “Can I get a-a [combo #1] with ffffffries and [drink] and a [combo #2], just the burrgerrrrr, with an on-ion ring and [drink].”

(I’m making the order when my coworker comes back to talk to me.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], can you hand the food out and tell me if this guy is drunk? He reeks of booze.”

(I go to hand his food out the window.)

Me: “Here you are, sir.”

(He doesn’t respond. He’s clearly out of it.)

Me: “Sir? I have your food for you.”

Customer: *looking very confused* “Oh, oh, thanks. Where are my drinks?”

Me: *I can see them in his cup holders* “You already have them, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Customer: “Uh, no, I’m good.”

(He drives off, and instead of turning to follow the curb, he drives straight over it. Thankfully, he stops in the parking lot. I immediately pick up the phone and call the police. I come back out from the office and his passenger has come in to get more food. Not even a minute has passed since I called and there are already two cruisers in the parking lot.)

Passenger: *turning around and seeing the commotion outside* “What are they doing? He isn’t drunk!”

(We watched the police give the man a sobriety test, cuff him, search his car, take him away, and have the car towed, all while his passenger stood in the lobby and kept repeating that “he isn’t drunk.”)

The Sauce Of Their Confusion, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | June 18, 2018

(I’ve worked at this fast food restaurant for almost two years now, and even with a promotion to shift manager and many an odd customer experience, nothing has yet to top this level. Our store is known for having specialty sauce, one that is factory made, and on this particular night shift, on only my second week working there, we’re all out. A young customer comes through drive-thru not too long before closing.)

Me: “Welcome to [Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *orders* “And can I get a lot of your sauce with it?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but we’re actually all out of the sauce right now.”

Customer: “Aww… Well, can’t you just make some more?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Your sauce. Don’t you make it there?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we get it in packets; we don’t make our sauce store-to-store.”

Customer: “But the ingredients are on the packets! Don’t you just get the ingredients and mix it in the back?”

Me: *baffled, looks over to my manager* “We… don’t make the sauce here, right?

Manager: “What?!” *starts laughing* “Of course not!”

Me: *back to the microphone* “Ma’am, please pull forward and we’ll help you up there.”

(She pulled forward, allowing my manager to properly explain to her that, no, we do not, in fact, have a Walter White-style brewing factory of specialty sauce in the back, and the reason the packets have ingredients is to allow the customer to know just what comes in what they’re eating… just like everything else that comes pre-packaged. To this day, I always have a good laugh about this.)

Related:
The Sauce Of Their Confusion, Part 2
The Sauce Of Their Confusion

Lemonading At The Crack Of Dawn

, , , | Right | June 18, 2018

(The first customer of the day drives up to our drive-thru window without ordering. Sometimes this happens, so I open the window to get her order.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Fast Food Chain]; what would you like?”

Customer: “Morning! Can I get [order]?”

Me: “Sure thing. What would you like to drink?”

Customer: “Let’s see… Can I get a lemonade?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t serve lemonade here.”

Customer: *suddenly loses it* “WHAT THE F***? WHY DON’T YOU HAVE ANY? YOU ALWAYS HAVE SOME!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but since I have been here we have never had lemonade.”

Customer: “YOU’RE LYING! I WAS HERE JUST YESTERDAY AND I GOT SOME!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am a supervisor, and have been working here for three years, and I promise you we have never sold lemonade.”

Customer: “F*** YOU!”

(The woman immediately drives away without anything. I turn to my manager who is holding the bag of food.)

Manager: “What the hell was that?”

Me: “Our first customer.”

Suspicious Behavior Is Often Suspect

, , , , , | Right | June 18, 2018

(I work at a fast food joint that’s connected to a gas station. We open at six in the morning, but the gas station is open 24 hours. At night, there’s only one person in the gas station. Just as my coworkers and I are opening for the day, a few seconds after we unlock the doors and turn the lights on in the lobby, this guy comes in.)

Guy: “I want to speak to your manager.”

(I tell my manager that someone is here and wants to talk to her. She comes over and signs me into the register, but he just stares and doesn’t say anything until she goes in to the back.)

Guy: “Did you just clock in?”

Me: “No, I was just getting logged into the register. What can I get for you today?”

(He looks around nervously and scans the parking lot behind him from the counter. He then mumbles something and leaves. I go and tell my other coworkers about this guy. A little bit later, one of my coworkers is in the back stock room where the back drive-thru window is. She spots him at the window looking inside, studying the stockroom. They stare at each other for a few seconds, but then she freaks out and runs away. We then go tell the people working at the gas station, and they say that he has been here since two am and spent three hours in the bathroom. They say they should have called the cops but didn’t because they thought he was just a dumba**. After the shift change in the gas station, one of the managers over there calls the cops because the guy’s car is still there but no one knows where he is. The cops come, and we tell them what happened, and then I spot him out in the parking lot trying to get in his car. He then goes to the gas station and asks:)

Guy: “So, I guess the cops have my car keys, huh?”

Gas Station Employee: “No, but the cops are on their way.”

(He is standing right by their office, and then he disappears. We’re told to keep an eye out for him if he comes back. It turns out he has gone into the gas station’s office and stockroom and is trying to hide in there! One of the employees spots him in there after a while and goes and tells the cops, who are standing around outside. The guys runs out of the office and into our lobby and he asks us:)

Guy: “Uh, you guys got anyone off that can give me a ride somewhere? I need to get out of here.”

(The cops cornered him. We later found out that the guy was wanted in two different states and was arrested!)

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