When You’re Always Right, The Earth Revolves Around You

, | Right | July 29, 2009

(While working at the drive-thru window early one morning, a woman starts talking to me as I am waiting on her food.)

Customer: “Can you name seven planets?”

Me: “Uh… I can name nine if you want to include Pluto…” *names the planets*

Customer: “What about the sun?”

Me: “The sun is a star.”

Customer: “Oh. What about the moon?”

Me: “The moon is our natural satellite…”

Customer: “Huh. But it doesn’t move.”

Me: “The moon revolves around the Earth.”

Customer: “But the moon doesn’t move. I can see it right now.”

Me: *hands her her food* “Okay, ma’am… have a nice day.”

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Haute Cuisine In A Value Meal

| Right | July 23, 2009

Me: *in the drive-thru* “Hello, welcome to ****. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, hi, I was just wondering, what are your apple slices?”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, I don’t understand the question. Are you asking for the price?”

Customer: “No, I want to know what they are. On the menu it says ‘apple slices’. What are they?”

Me: “They’re…slices of apple, sir.”

Customer: “That’s it?”

Me: “Yes sir.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought maybe they were something fancier than that. Never mind.”

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Right Next Door But Worlds Away

, , | Right | July 17, 2009

(I have just finished taking an order for a customer. My parents are from Germany, so I have a slight accent.)

Me: “That will be $10.87, ma’am. Anything else for you?”

Customer: “You have a very neat accent, miss. Where are you from?”

Me: “I was born in Colorado, ma’am.”

Customer: “Wow, really? What language do they speak there?”

Me: “…”


This story is part of our Geography roundup.

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Employee Of The Year, Part 2

, | Right | July 8, 2009

(I’m English and backpacking in New Zealand. I’ve just started work in a fast food place and am on the drive-thru for the first time.)

Manager: “Okay. What you have to do is talk to the customers and make them feel really welcome. Get a bit chatty if you can.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Watch this…”

(A customer drives down to my window to pay for his food.)

Me: “Hey there, how you doing? That will be [price].”

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “England.”

Customer: “Whereabouts in England?”

Me: “Hull.”

Customer: “ME, TOO! I’m from [Road]!”

Me: “Sweet! I grew up just round the corner from there! Was it a nightmare having them build the new stadium right on your doorstep?”

Customer: “No way! Yer, was a right pain! Speaking of which, did you see the Tigers play the other night?”

Me: “Nah, I missed it. I was working. I heard the result though, get it!”

Customer: “Let’s see if we come out on top at the end of the season! Anyway, I best go pick up my food. I am sure you have other customers to serve. My name is [Customer] by the way. What’s yours?”

Me: “I’m [My Name].”

(We shake hands through the window.)

Customer: “Nice to meet you, man. I will be sure to see you around.”

Me: “Yeah, have a good day, mate!”

(The customer drives to the next window. I turn to look at my manager who has a look of total disbelief.)

Me: “And that’s how you do that.”

Manager: “Yeah, I will leave you to it. I think you got the hang of it!”


This story is part of the Drive-Thru roundup!

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A Snake Eating Its Own Tail

, | Right | July 1, 2009

(It’s late at night and only one manager, another employee, and I are working. I’m manning the drive-thru when a car pulls up.)

Customer: *over speaker* “I just came through the drive-thru, and I got a fish sandwich.”

Me: “Okay, how can I help you?”

Customer: “There was a bite in my sandwich!”

Me: “I’m sorry? Please drive around and I’ll see what I can do.”

Customer: *at window* “What you can do, young lady, is get me a new sandwich.”

Me: “Um, sir, nobody here would have taken a bite of your sandwich. Are you sure it didn’t just break off?”

Customer: “NO! Give me a new sandwich! I just tasted this sandwich and it tasted terrible.”

Me: “Wait — you bit the sandwich after you found a bite?”

Customer: “No, you idiot! I bit the sandwich, and I need another one!”

Me: “…”

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