I’m working in a fast food place. It’s so busy we have lines ten people deep at each of the four tills. A customer orders a burger, goes to sit down, and then comes back to the counter.

Customer: “My burger is undercooked and raw in the middle. I want a refund.”

He says this loudly so that everyone can hear him. The shift manager for the day comes to address his concern, and since it’s at my till, I get to see the burger as the box is opened.

It hasn’t been touched. It looks exactly like it did when it was boxed up and given to him. No bite has been taken. There’s not a sesame seed out of place.

My manager takes the burger calmly, rips it in half in front of him, and says in the sweetest, yet sarcastic tone possible:

Manager: “It looks perfectly cooked to me, sir. I’ll get you another burger.”

I still don’t know what his objective was. Did he think we’d refund him and let him keep the raw burger?

I work at a fast-food Mexican place. Two customers come in, and one orders a few items that are quite cheese-heavy.

Customer’s Friend: “Wait, aren’t you, like, super lactose-intolerant?”

Customer: “Sadly, yes.”

Customer’s Friend: “And you’re ordering this much dairy?”

Customer: “When you’ve lived with lactose intolerance as long as I have, you learn that some foods are just worth whatever comes next.”

Me: *Not getting involved* “That’ll be $12.99, please.”

Customer: “Thank you. Side question: would you say the flush strength in your customer toilets is quite high?”

Related:
This Cannot End Well, Part 4
This Cannot End Well, Part 3
This Cannot End Well, Part 2
This Cannot End Well

This story is part of our Customer Situations That Will NOT End Well roundup!

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My son and I stop at a mostly-empty fast food place one morning to get food. He orders, and then it’s my turn. 

Me: “May I have a number nine, medium, with no meat, please?”

Cashier: “Ham, bacon, or sausage?”

Me: “No meat.”

Cashier: “Small, medium, or large?”

Me: “Medium.”

I’m thinking, “Seriously?”

She tells me the total and I pay it with my card. The machine asks if I want to leave a tip, and I hit the “no” button. 

Cashier: “I think you hit the wrong button by mistake. Do you want me to fix that?”

Me: “No. I didn’t. I’m good. May I have our drink cups, please?”

I’m a manager at a fast food restaurant. A woman came through our drive-thru, and then she called us, screaming.

Customer: “My order was wrong! I need to talk to—” *read: yell at* “—the person who was at the window!”

Me: “They’re busy right now.”

Customer: “They can get their fat a** off the window and come talk to me!”

I hung up on her. She called back repeatedly saying the same sort of thing. On the third or fourth call, I informed her:

Me: “Ma’am, if you keep being disrespectful to my employees, I’m going to keep hanging up on you.”

And I did exactly that. It was hilarious.

And the best part? I started declining her number instead of picking up the phone. She kept our phone ringing for forty-five minutes — maybe eighty or so calls.

I work for a bubble tea shop. Bubble tea is a flavoured milk or tea drink that usually comes with tapioca balls — the “bubbles” — and in our place, we add them by default unless asked to remove them or replace them with another item.

A customer I have just served comes up to me and slams her drink on the counter.

Customer: “What the f*** is this?! Your drink is rotten!”

Me: “What do you mean, ma’am? The milk is fresh, and the flavoring is powdered.”

Customer: “Your milk has curdled! It’s full of disgusting lumps!”

Me: “Those are tapioca balls, ma’am. They’re part of the drink.”

Customer: “They’re disgusting! I didn’t ask for this disgusting Asian s***!”

Me: *Trying to ignore the casual racism* “Ma’am, they’re a major part of the bubble tea experience, and they’re mentioned on the menu and when you order from us. If you like, I can remake your drink without the tapioca.”

Customer: “I want a refund and a free drink!”

Me: “You’re not getting a refund.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “The same reason you don’t get a refund in [Fast Food Chain] when you order a burger and you didn’t want the patty.”

Customer: “Well… that’s not fair! I don’t know all this Asian crap!”

Me: “Our menu is in English.”

Customer: “I’m going to write a bad review online about you!”

Me: “Woman complains that her bubble tea contains bubbles. Can’t wait to read it.”

She stormed out, minus her drink. No bad review ever appeared.