(I’m one of three people working the opening shift. Since the two managers arrive first, they’re supposed to unlock the doors every day for us employees. On this particular morning, the front door is locked. I go around back to the employee entrance and find it is also locked. A few attempts at knocking prove fruitless, so I finally come around to the drive-through window, where I can see the managers and vaguely hear a conversation.)

Manager #1: *checking the clock* “Where’s [My Name]? She’s five minutes late! She’s NEVER late!”

(At this point, I knock on the window.)

Manager #1: “[Manager #2], you get it. Tell them we’re a little short today.”

Manager #2: *looking out the window and waving at me* “Say, [Manager #1]? Are you SURE you unlocked all the doors today?”

Manager #1: “Sure I did! Why?”

Manager #2: “Because [My Name] is standing right outside this window.”

(Working late at night the store is understaffed. There is a manager and I running the entire store. We are trying to keep up with drive through demand, but the wait time is slipping from two minutes to about five minutes.)

Me: “Welcome to [Store]. How may I take your order?”

Customer: “I’d like [hamburger meal] and a large drink.”

Me: “Thank you. Please pull up to the second window.”

(The customer waits in line for a few minutes until I can handle the customer before him and prepare his food. He drives up in an expensive sports car.)

Me: “Sorry for the wait, sir. Here is your—”

Customer: “You know I’ve been to your stores all over the country, and yours in the only one that always takes such a d*** long time to get anything done!”

Me: *embarrassed/angry*  “I’m sorry for the long wait, sir, but we are understaffed. There is just the two of us here handling all the orders. But if you are interested in helping get things sped up, we are hiring right now and I can get you an application.”

(The customer made a face, took his food, and sped off.)

(The credit card machines are down at the fast food place I work for. I am taking orders on the headset.)

Me: “Thank you for stopping at [Fast Food]. Our credit card machines are currently down so we are only accepting cash right now.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s fine. I don’t have a credit card. I have a debit card.”

Me: *trying to hold back laughter* “I’m sorry; ma’am, but we can’t accept a debit card either.”

(I am ordering a cheeseburger combo meal at a fast food place.)

Cashier: “And what do you want on it?”

Me: “Uh, everything except the tomatoes, onion… Wait, let me rephrase that. Just the cheese and meat.”

Cashier: “So… plain?”

Me: *embarrassed* “Yeah, I guess that would’ve been easier to say!”

(Thanks for putting up with me, fast food worker!)

(It’s about 6:45 on a slow-ish night working in fast food. We’re selling a popular promotional burger which includes blue cheese. Suddenly, I see a red faced customer storming towards the door, obviously furious. As store policy, I find the nearest supervisor to deal with an obviously irate customer. I hide in the mug room to watch.)

Supervisor: “Hi. Welcome to…”

Customer: “ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”

Supervisor: “No ma’am. What seems to be—”

Customer: *pulls half eaten blue cheese burger out of bag* “HOW DARE YOU FEED YOUR CUSTOMERS THIS! THIS BLUE CHEESE IS EXPIRED AND MOLDY!”

(At this point I can hear laughter from the kitchen, who can hear every word.)

Supervisor: “Ma’am, this is a blue cheese burger. Perhaps you were given it by mist—”

Customer: “I KNOW WHAT A D*** BLUE CHEESE BURGER IS!”

Supervisor: “Then you understand that it is an aged cheese, where this ‘mold’ is normal. I will happily return your money to you if you wish, however.”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME! I’VE EATEN BLUE CHEESE ALL MY LIFE AND I HAVE NEVER ENCOUNTERED MOLD!”

(My supervisor, obviously getting annoyed, gives the customer her refund.)

Supervisor: “Here is your refund. However, if you can find me blue cheese in the local supermarket that doesn’t have or taste ‘moldy,’ I will gladly give you every cent I have in this cash register.”

(I see the customer’s eyes gleam right before she storms out. She never does come back. )

Supervisor: *to me* “Go write ‘customer found mold in their blue cheese’ in the complaint book.”